Not me today

The things I'm saying just aren't me. The way I'm thinking...not Brittney. I am skipping words again and making simple spelling errors and mistakes. My fingers aren't working right, my art isn't coming out on the paper the way I want it to. I've failed terribly at being mindful today, I've not done any exercise...I feel needy, I feel like I talk too much, I feel like I expect too much. I miss all of my friends, and it's only been a day, I miss myself...I don't remember how long it's been. Music has no words today, and pictures have no colors...everything is plastic. I feel ill. Noises fill my ears, nothing else but one thing. When the words make sense, my thoughts can't keep up, I talk, but I don't know what it's about.

Writing what comes to mind as it comes to mind:

On my desk the word love catches my eye
Shinedown sings but the words are translucent
14mg nicotine patches
The bees try to get me when I go to smoke
Melatonin sits next to spice
I want to smoke
Getting high sounds nice
I broke those glasses
it's a real shame, they wre really nice
Lozenges, that cold was nasty
How long has this bottle of water been sitting here?
There's a peice of gum in the bottle
Lip gloss...I want my lips to be prettiet
I miss being pretty
Was I ever pretty?
I don't know
I don't remember
I'm making spelling mistakes today
I just put a y where the I was supposed to be in mistake
and spaced too quickly
I'm wearing a ring
I don't remember putting it on
WHY THE FUCK AM I DOING THIS?!