Jump to content




The ins and outs of loneliness



Photo

Irritated to no end

Posted by Angeni Mai , 26 August 2014 · 111 views
anger, irritation, thoughts
I swear that the universe is trying to tell me I will not be approved for SSI. My lawyer's secretary and I were supposed to have an after hours call so that she could get the info for the ADR from me but she called last minute to tell my dad and I that we'll have to have the call tomorrow at 6:30pm because she forgot that she has to take her dad to the do...


Photo

Long three weeks ahead

Posted by Angeni Mai , 24 August 2014 · 115 views

I am excited and nervous about the next three weeks. The breakdown is like this -

Week 1 - August 25th to 31st:
,
1) Call the pro-bono mental health clinic to set up an evaluation, 2) make an appt to go see the gdoc by Friday, 3) call and get my medical records from IP stays, 4) talk to lawyer's secretary to fill out disability report, 5) meet with law...


Photo

Memory issues causing fear and terror

Posted by Angeni Mai , 16 August 2014 · 111 views

I have been dealing with some memory issues for a couple months. I'm going to make an appointment to talk to my PCP about this but I would like to know what you all think.

My memory was fine before I stopped taking my meds in May. My memory seemed fine for a while afterward but soon it got to the point where I could not remember things I had thought 2...


Photo

To be honest

Posted by Angeni Mai , 10 August 2014 · 89 views
TBH, Self, image
To be honest I hate receiving compliments 99% of the time. I feel like people are either just telling me what I want to hear or l feel like they give me compliments so that they can laugh about things and talk about me behind my back. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept compliments without feeling like people have an ulterior motive for praising m...


Photo

I created a facebook group ...

Posted by Angeni Mai , 01 March 2014 · 173 views
Facebook, networking, art, love and 2 more...
Well, as the title suggests, I've created a Facebook group. It's a group for people who have a diagnosis or suspect having Borderline Personality Disorder and like to dabble in the arts. No matter your medium, all art is welcome. Please read the rules in the description of the group.

https://www.facebook...13934418858869/

I hope to get this...


Photo

Lets help our friend out!

Posted by Angeni Mai , 21 February 2014 · 171 views
helping others and 1 more...
Not really much to report. School is going well. Life is going well.

Just wanted to help out a dear friend. You can help too! Please click on the link below, then "like" and "share". That's all you have to do to help out. 150 likes is the goal and it will help them get their new car. All help is much appreciated!

https://www.facebook...alvillesuper...


Photo

Just another sleepless night

Posted by Angeni Mai , 16 February 2014 · 105 views
insomnia, tired, creative and 2 more...
I am feeling pretty well lately. Ever since being put on Saphris, my life has changed for the better. It has literally been my saving grace. There is so much more that I can do and not be afraid of having a meltdown, outburst, or panic attack. I hope that my doctor will let me stay on it for a while, if not long term.
School is going very well. I have com...


Photo

Turning tides

Posted by Angeni Mai , 29 January 2014 · 108 views
changing, worse and better
Well, nobody ever said that I would feel good forever. I can't stop feeling like I'm just a waste of time and space. I don't understand why I have to feel like this. I would love to be stable for a while before having another change in how I feel but I can't seem to do that. Just ONCE I would love to feel like I actually matter and what I do has a positiv...


Photo

Ready to move forward

Posted by Angeni Mai , 23 January 2014 · 119 views
college, English, class, school
I signed up for English 102 yesterday. I am ready to start class already. I hope this is a good sign of what is to come.

I called the head of the English department a little while ago. She said that taking English 101 and 102 with the combination of creative writing and regular composition is extra, not necessity, to be accepted into the Creative Writin...


Photo

Returning to college

Posted by Angeni Mai , 19 January 2014 · 241 views
anxiety, scared, excited, nervous and 2 more...
I will be going to officially register for classes on Tuesday. I would go tomorrow but it is MLK day tomorrow and all schools are closed in observation of said day.

I am so excited to be going back to school but, at the same time, I am scared shitless. What if I fail? What if I get anxiety and start cutting classes like I did back when I was in my second...


Photo

The anxiety saga

Posted by Angeni Mai , 13 January 2014 · 144 views
anxiety, scared, agoraphobia and 4 more...
Well, it was good while it lasted.

Anxiety/ panic attacks are back and, apparently, here to stay. I've been having constant anxiety coupled with sporadic panic attacks and it's not getting any better. I'm not sure what caused it to start up again as I am on a daily med regiment to control it but it's not working anymore apparently.

There are a couple...


Photo

New revelations ... SHORT UPDATE

Posted by Angeni Mai , 11 January 2014 · 151 views
inpatient, diagnosis, Borderline and 2 more...
Well, I am now amongst the people diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

That is all.


Photo

Residential treatment a no go ... :(

Posted by Angeni Mai , 31 December 2013 · 252 views

I have recently come to the realization that my best chance at recovery for all of my issues would be to enter a long-term residential treatment program. Easy to apply? Yes. Easy on the wallet? HELL NO!

I did some research into treatment facilities near me that treat most or all of my disorders and issues relating to them. The best fit was a treatment ce...


Photo

I'm mixed and I know it ...

Posted by Angeni Mai , 31 December 2013 · 144 views

This is the Fifth night in the last week That I have not been able to sleep due to being in a mixed episode. If I was purely manic I would be able to handle it well but not sleeping in a mixed state is terribly dangerous for me, as I am even more unstable than in a manic or depressed state.

I hate being mixed because I am energetic but too unmotivated t...


Photo

Long overdue updates!

Posted by Angeni Mai , 29 December 2013 · 156 views

Hey guys! I'm sorry it has been so long since my last update. 2013 has been a long, hectic year for me.

In April I was admitted to an inpatient facility and was there for a month but wasn't doing any better once I left. I was sent back five subsequent times and am still not doing very well. My therapist wants me to go back inpatient and to rehab come mid...


Photo

Prayers

Posted by Angeni Mai , 15 April 2013 · 143 views

Prayers So far there are officially 22 injured, 2 killed by whomever decided to be an asshole and set off two bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. I will be praying for them all.

Hopefully the death toll does not rise.


Photo

Sleepless in Maryland

Posted by Angeni Mai , 15 April 2013 · 223 views
tired, depressed, anxious
Sleepless in Maryland Well, it doesn't have the same ring, nor plot, as Sleepless in Seattle but you get the idea. I didn't really sleep much at all last night. I managed to fall asleep at 9 pm and sleep until 11:30 pm, but after that it was a lost cause. I'm wondering whether it is purely depression related, anxiety related (because of my doctor appointments tomorrow), or a m...


Photo

So ... yeah ...

Posted by Angeni Mai , 14 April 2013 · 309 views
infection, shit, angry, family and 6 more...
So ... yeah ... Nothing but a bunch of shit. Feel like shit. Look like shit. I am shit. Nothing to contribute and am no good to anybody. Why is it that I even exist? What do I have to offer? Why can't I just attempt to kill myself and actually die?! I've tried so many times but it never works. Last time I tried, I was kneeling over the toilet for forty minutes, throwing...


Photo

Memories

Posted by Angeni Mai , 10 April 2013 · 244 views
trauma, past, scared, angry, rant
I keep thinking back to when I was a kid and everything was good but I don't have many happy memories to keep me going. The only real memories I have are of my parents and I fighting, physically and verbally, and it breaks my heart. I feel like I had my childhood stolen from me, all because my parents "weren't happy together". I still have nightmares abou...


Photo

Hit the road Jack

Posted by Angeni Mai , 09 April 2013 · 118 views
loss, friends, lonely, moving on and 1 more...
I am officially done with the backstabbing weasel I used to call my friend. You can call me names and treat me like shit but going behind my back and telling my best friend, that I have known for four times the length of time I have known you, that I mouthed her to you crosses that line that we cannot come back from. I know you'll try to say you did nothi...






September 2014

S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
2122 23 24252627
282930    

Search My Blog

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories


The content of individual posts on this site are the sole work of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and/or policies of the Administrators, Moderators, or other Members of the Crazyboards community. Health related topics should not be used for the purpose of diagnosis or substituted for medical advice. It is your responsibility to research the accuracy, completeness, and usefulness of all opinions, services, and other information found on the site, and to consult with your professional health care provider as to whether the information can benefit you.