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Posted by bluechick , 29 June 2013 · 441 views

As the shock wears off in my situation, I feel this great sense of relief. I've been holding on to my marriage so hard . Now that I'm not with him anymore, his shit is not my problem! No more criticism. No more taking care of him. No more putting up with negative behavior.

It seriously is this big relief. Now I can truly focus on myself and my chil...


Le Poop

Posted by bluechick , 27 June 2013 · 403 views

Shit gets weirder and weirder and weirder. The little girl that DA (I am now referring to him as Dumb Ass, so DA for short) is seeing wants children. And they are in love. As DA puts it, "her eyes pierce my soul". I'm not making this shit up. And since she's 21 she of course wants children. He swore he was done having children. But now he's reconsi...


Tdd hee. He's bonkers.

Posted by bluechick , 22 June 2013 · 855 views

I'm the kind of person that allows myself to get sad at situations for a while and then work very hard on moving on.

My intimate relationship with my husband is officially over. Upon some serious meditation, though, I came to realize that I haven't lost anything. We haven't had an intimate relationship for years. There has been no physical, spiritual...


It's official

Posted by bluechick , 19 June 2013 · 613 views

I just got "friend zoned". He's bouncing around here like Tigger saying he's happier than he's been in so long.

I'm numb.


Eyes be rolling

Posted by bluechick , 19 June 2013 · 716 views

Went to tdoc yesterday. She also saw DH earlier that day. The conclusion and consensus is that DH has SEVERE problems. Tdoc agreed that the path he is choosing is not appropriate and he is risking a lot.

After I got my venting out of the way we spent the rest of the session discussing how to protect myself and my kids. Reinforced my coping skills and...


More crazymaking

Posted by bluechick , 18 June 2013 · 297 views

Quick update. I won't make this long. Tdoc confronted DH on his whole wanting to date bullshit. Now he is backpedaling. As it turns out, I misunderstood. What he meant to say was that he wanted to go out with his friends and that women would be present. But, he stressed, he has zero interest in doing anything with any woman.

Do I really look that s...


I will survive no matter what you do

Posted by bluechick , 18 June 2013 · 443 views

Well despite an obscenely emotional discussion yesterday with DH wherein I almost started screaming at him, I woke up today with my coping skills in place. I need to take care of myself first. For me and for my kids. They need a positive role model in the face of a father who just isn't. This is my job now. And I do this without a partner by my side....


Face Palm!

Posted by bluechick , 18 June 2013 · 193 views

Last night I was in my study reading a book called Depression Fallout. I highly recommend it if you are living with someone who is depressed.

I'm sitting there reading, just wanting to shout out loud at the damn book. The author is literally describing conversations DH and I have had nearly weird for word. The depressed spouse saying things like, "My...



Posted by bluechick , 17 June 2013 · 167 views

I think I've figured out something huge. DH is studying attachment disorder and now he thinks he may have it. That makes perfect sense! It explains so much!

He grew up in a terribly abusive household. He was emancipated by the Court at age 16 because of it. The people he trusted the most in his life, his parents, were never there for him. When he b...


Depression Fallout 2

Posted by bluechick , 17 June 2013 · 287 views

Depression is such a selfish disease. It's horrible to watch DH go through it. Just as hard for me to suffer through my own stuff of having to live with a depressive.

Yesterday, for Father's Day, he did nothing. Didn't engage with the family. Didn't engage with his children. Just spent the whole day studying. He did take an hour long break to talk...

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    Tdd hee. He's bonkers.
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