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Survived Surgery, Now fighting guilt

Posted by SanitysOverrated in SanitysOverrated's Blog, 28 May 2015 · 13 views

Well, I made it through the surgery with relative ease.. which I am so thankful for because I was expecting worse. The bf was very good about helping me recover which was amazing but has left me struggling with guilt. I know I am unhappy and I know I want out of this relationship and I am trying to get everything together to leave at the end of the lease,...


I go to work

Posted by dragonfly23 in dragonfly, 28 May 2015 · 47 views

I dont know that I actually work much. Its a place to go that I am familiar with that can add structure. Its better for me than staying at home. Pdoc usually asks me "do you want a note for some time off". I say no everytime. What would I do with time off? Sleep and haunt my house that is what i would do.  I spend my day at work trying to look...


Strange behavior

Posted by SpiderV in BrittneyV93's Blog, 28 May 2015 · 31 views

Though things have been going well for a while now, I still get stressed, naturally.
This all has to do with a relationship, the same one I've been in for about 7 months now
and I've come to the conclusion that I may very well be addicted to love.
It makes me act weird.
This is slowly fading though, and I'm learning to take humans as humans, not parent...


better, kind of

Posted by larkspur in larkspur lane, 27 May 2015 · 66 views

There is a new lady in my life, and her name is Stella. JK, it's Stelazine, a miracle pill that slayed my anxiety almost instantly (within 24 hours). It's a high-potency typical antipsychotic, used a lot in the 60's and 70's. I can't stress enough how great it has been for me. No sedation whatsoever. No side effects. I am taking 1mg in the morning and 2mg...



Posted by Hopelessly Broken in Hopelessly Broken's Blog, 27 May 2015 · 50 views

Most people have a reason they wake up each day. I have no such reason. I do next to nothing with my life. Besides browsing the internet. I don't know why I bother forcing myself to wake up, and every night I fear night terrors. I get depressed about never feeling awake anyways, being unrefreshed. So why even go to sleep in the first place? The outcome is...


El Caminos in the West

Posted by Outlier52 in Outlier52's Blog, 27 May 2015 · 34 views

I'll paint the words a simple wish
For peace of mind and happiness  


More of the same

Posted by Geek in Geek's Blog, 27 May 2015 · 48 views

It's just more of the same. 
I am no more or less suicidal than I have been. I have not sh'd (no idea why). 
I just don't want to be . 
Bossman was gone yesterday and today. Work sucked less. Still sucks, but less. 
Sometimes I think about ECT. I guess it shows I'm feeling desperate and lost. It's not the right time for ECT; I'm too fu...


Same ol same ol

Posted by BlurredBoundaries in New Year, New Blog, 27 May 2015 · 96 views

Not much to write about unless you guys want to hear me repeat myself about the same things over and over. Alright.... I guess I have to repeat myself cause it's what's bothering me. I am way too overweight right now.I feel so self conscious.Why is it that I gain weight so easily, and I don't even eat fast food?And most of the time I eat a...


Hi from Vermont

Posted by malachite in The Depression Files, 27 May 2015 · 120 views

Hey everyone, 
Been a long time since I wrote. Mike and I moved cross country to my mom's three weeks ago. Since then, his mom has been diagnosed with cancer, which is heartbreaking. He went back to Colorado for a couple weeks and is back now. 
Living with my mom is hell. Three days after getting here, I learned she betrayed my conf...


Fluid Thinking

Posted by molekat in Molekat's Blog, 27 May 2015 · 47 views

For a few years I'd been writing out a daily schedule which I then followed down to the minute. I don't work, so my days, if not rigidly controlled, felt like they were great black holes of time. I would start my morning with writing from 6 to 6:45, then dressing from 6:45 to 7... etc. Most days I followed it. Some days I didn't, and felt what I would cal...


Are things going south?

Posted by Flash in Flash's Funny Farm, 26 May 2015 · 153 views

I sure hope not, but my mood is kinda crappy today. I hope it's just a blip. I don't know how I'd cope if it isn't. One year of depression is quite enough, thank you. I did not sign up for the multi-year plan (BTDT).  
I'm still really low on energy, too. I'll probably climb back in bed and stare at the wall for a while. I wish I could go back to s...


Hitting rock bottom with burnout

Posted by StormBeforeCalm in It's just the storm before the calm, 26 May 2015 · 82 views

In my last blog entry (http://www.crazyboar...05-job-burnout/ ) I finally admitted that I'm suffering from burnout. Since then, it's gotten worse, and today I find myself completely paralyzed, unable to get any work done at all. I have several deadlines this week and at this rate I'm going to miss them all by a mile,...


gaze into our what?

Posted by yarnandcats in the yarn closet, 25 May 2015 · 78 views
die die die, stress, overwhelm and 1 more...

we are not doing well
(that saga continues)
(we don't want to write more abt it now) mentally?
not well either feeling
worthless wondering
why we are here
why all ppl are entitled
to moments of
we hope ours passes


success and failure

Posted by katie.goodair in My Little World, 25 May 2015 · 65 views

My cousin came and visited me this weekend. We had a long conversation about my mental health. It made me realise a few things.. I AM doing better than I was, even if it's slow progress. I don't spend all day every day crying any more, and I am mainly functioning. I don't think I could live on my own but luckily I don't have to.  Also, how differentl...



Posted by ananke in My mad fat blog, 25 May 2015 · 48 views

having weird, slightly grandiose thoughts tonight... like how my mind is like a canyon and i want to be an 'idealised self' and perfectionism and 'fragmented perception'. i dont know. i do know i'd like to get off the crazy train, just for one fucking week a year. is that so much to ask? with all 6? 7? diagnoses, i think i deserve a fucking break. just co...


At My Wits End/Hospital

Posted by MooMeMa in MooMeMa's Blog, 25 May 2015 · 117 views
mental breakdown, hospital and 2 more...

I am at my wits end with this hospital bullshit.  We called the one here in New Hampshire and found out that they only keep people for a week. As a private hospital that requires insurance or hundreds/a thousand dollars A NIGHT to stay, that is unacceptable to me. You'd receive the same treatment in the same amount of time as the crappy state hospita...


In audience of tv comedy show!

Posted by Sawi in Sawi's Blog, 25 May 2015 · 77 views
a. and r., sex, food and drinks and 5 more...

My blog also serves as a diary now, so sometimes I will write about events that happened a long time ago, too. A hot bath (29-04-15)  A. decided to not be inpatient anymore. It was quite a decision to make and they didn't like it in the clinic, but it was too negative for her and she didn't get the support she wanted. Originally we would go to...


Another Mountain

Posted by SoaringRaven in Raven's Ramblings, 25 May 2015 · 65 views

I climbed another mountain yesterday. I feel like hiking is better for me than wasting my time and energy with a tdoc. It's probably because I've had mostly bad tdocs, and have had such good experiences hiking. When I hike, it is kind of like a meditation session that lasts many hours. I just think about how beautiful the forest is and how breat...


Hothouse Flower

Posted by Devotchka in Devotchka's Blog, 25 May 2015 · 78 views

Well, it's been a rough couple weeks.
I made it through my dead son's birthday relatively unscathed - drank a little too much, but only a little, which is good. I didn't enjoy it very much, and with the Dopamax in my system it seems i am physically incapable of anything more than two drinks anyway.
Which is kind of really nice. Except those two drinks on...


Opportunity knocks

Posted by confused in confused's Blog, 24 May 2015 · 53 views

I don't know whether to be grateful or stressed by the opportunities before me. I signed up at an employment network that doesn't look great, but could have a job opportunity. I am not expecting anything great, maybe part time.  
This woman I volunteer with invited me out to a movie with her friends. I am a lot older and very anti social, so I passed...

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