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the 1st

Posted by yarnandcats in the yarn closet, 01 October 2014 · 30 views
Others, overwhelm

the 1st
J and We made it
now
there
is
toilet paper
and
cat food
and
some fruit
and
all of Us and J
had
real food
to
eat
for
The Meal
today

the 1st
also means
lots
of
errands
and
out-of-house-time
acting-normal-time
not-screaming-in-the-car-at-the-top-of-Our-lungs-time

We feel
lost
and
hopeless
and
wanting
wanting
wanting
to
fly
fly
fly
like
paper...

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I feel like killing myself but

Posted by Wonderful.Cheese in Wonderful.Cheese's Blog, 01 October 2014 · 42 views

I feel like killing myself. I'd go to the hospital but no way am I going there ever again. I'm on the best med combo I can get I think. Not sure. I want to see my brother again. I don't have enough of any med to OD on. It would have to be something violent towards myself. I'll probably chicken out.

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Back, after a large hiatus

Posted by MaryBoBerry123 in MaryBoBerry's Blog, 01 October 2014 · 40 views

Hi guys. I've been away for a while trying to collect myself.
I've been in therapy, practicing mindfulness (to the best of my abilities), and taking all the meds all the time.
I feel like I've come to a stable place.
It's not always a happy stable place- but there are less large destructive swings of emotion.

In the last year a lot has happened.
My chi...

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my fault

Posted by inabook in I'm fine, 01 October 2014 · 38 views

the thing is… it is all my fault, and it has always been all my fault. nothing happened to me. i happened to me. i am the one who was/is not good enough, always hurting. all by my fault. So really, how could I NOT hate myself? how could I not hate that kid, that teenager, that me?

that kid who was sick. then that kid that was crazy. that kid that hurt ev...

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Invisable

Posted by Stayingabovethewater60 in Stayingabovethewater60's Blog, 01 October 2014 · 25 views

Am I really here...Do I really exist...When I reach out my hand, will you touch me, will I feel it or is this a dream...

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i do not understsand

Posted by Chimako in It's Where My Demons Hide, 01 October 2014 · 23 views

I don't understand whats happening to me. i don't even know why its happening. i want the missed time to stop. now. no more.

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Willfully self destructing

Posted by ananke in My mad fat blog, 01 October 2014 · 38 views
tw suicide

and sabotaging any progress.

I can't stand being at home. It was bad enough while I was working but now I'm here all the time, and its only been three days. I have no real independence or freedom.

I desperately need my community, but there aren't a huge range of LGBT meetings around here.

I keep having intrusive thoughts about me killing myself. There'...

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Here come the f bombs

Posted by dragonfly23 in dragonfly23's Blog, 01 October 2014 · 52 views

I can't fuckin believe this, I feel great right. I wanna do stuff I am social, I don't want to kill my self. Sounds fuckin fantastic right? Work is awesome, I am preparing meals again. Seems like meds are working just fine. I haven't wanted to kill myself since Saturday, that is fucking progress. I am singing with the radio like a rock star. Then I vis...

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Oh Gods--they're all sick :(

Posted by Brokendishes in Brokendishes - Blog blog blog, 01 October 2014 · 32 views

Everybody at work is sick....it's not just in my mind!!! I've been sitting here trying to figure out if I have food poisoning or what but one of the managers is leaving with an upset stomach ''hopes she makes it home"...

Alll day I've been thinking I was anxious, worried about the house--I'm just frikkin sick--again :( Between the ones coughing, and the...

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10 - 1

Posted by Idler in Idler's Blog, 01 October 2014 · 30 views

So it's officially fall outside. Drizzling.

I am trying to stay optimistic. I want to have a good attitude - I'm tired of feeling shitty all the time.

I'm also trying to ignore or combat thoughts that others are frightened or uncomfortable around me. Generally, when something happens, I draw inward and assume that I somehow fucked everything up again. T...

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Discouraged

Posted by writehellarandomshiny in The Real World Editorial Of SpriteandShiny, 01 October 2014 · 31 views

Need a pick-me-up.

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What kind of bitch says that?

Posted by BlurredBoundaries in BlurredBoundaries' Blog, 01 October 2014 · 71 views

The lady I work for, that I always talk about hating,saw me yesterday, and although she pretended to be sympathetic towards me losing my dog this weekend, she did say "Oh my god! You look terrible!" (I even had makeup and clean clothes on yesterday)

It would probably bother me more if I thought she was a normal person but I know she's a bitch.Never the l...

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three easy steps to pleasant feelings

Posted by empty inside in Totally Random, 01 October 2014 · 46 views

note a): the following is random and may offend some serious thinkers.


pleasant feelings in three easy steps
step one: grab two Que-tips and wet the ends
step two: put them up your nose (into the tip bit thingy at the front)
step three: twist repeatedly.

note b): not as good when Que-tips are dry but still not unpleasant.

enjoy!

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Can't tell

Posted by Light in Meds/ How i feel, 01 October 2014 · 35 views
turnedintoarant

I can't tell if im going hypo or just trying to distract myself so much from SH'n

I don't get anything - im not actually depressed - i'em and have been for a while, happy! I'm so confused.

It feels useless not knowing if im OFFICALLY BP - shortage and being over the age of 20 makes it harder to get into a ACTUAL pdoc who can diagnose - i could of months...

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Sobriety Struggles and Fucking Up

Posted by baepolar in Overthrowing my Corrupt Mind, 30 September 2014 · 45 views

I've fucked up big time.

I dove headfirst in my fall/winter depression.

I quit my job two weeks ago because I couldn't handle it with full time school.

I started burning, cutting and purging again.

I've used and abused nicotine, caffeine, adderall, ritalin, focalin, gabapentin, xanax, klonopin, alcohol, weed, cocaine, molly and acid multiple times and...

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Facebook stupidity (RANT)

Posted by Angeni Mai in The ins and outs of loneliness , 30 September 2014 · 97 views

Before you read, grab some popcorn and a drink. This is long and better than a soap opera and drama series combined.

My sister posted a status about me a little while ago and tagged my best friend in it. She is so technologically challenged that she doesn't realize that I can still post on her status via my other profile that I have not blocked her o...

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Diagnosis Part 2: Telling People

Posted by treacleweasel in so grease my knees and fleece my bees..., 30 September 2014 · 65 views

I certainly don't feel that I need to tell everybody about my mental health, but there are a few who need to know.

Told my very good friend about the diagnosis last night. He listened, asked appropriate questions, and said he was glad I told him. He said that this was great news, actually, because he knew I'd been suffering and now I know what's wrong...

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Day 2 of Omeprazole

Posted by netsavy006 in Andy's Blog, 30 September 2014 · 31 views

Today is day 2 of me taking Omeprazole.

While not 100%, I have noticed a huge improvement in the way I've been feeling.

I have way less nausea and the throat burning stopped.

I'm hopeful for continued improvement.

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another poem

Posted by sleepy borderline in sleepy borderline's Blog, 30 September 2014 · 41 views
man, woman, sex, hopelessness and 3 more...

another poem Imbalance

She lets him utilize her- one two three times. As if she was a simple house appliance,
a towel to wipe himself on, perhaps,
Anticipating the frame of him crushes her weakness like a bug.
He has delayed all of her judgments,
like a stopwatch time now moves slowly

He has sucked up the last of her bitter tears like a
mosquito sucking bloo...

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War All the Time (Bukowski)

Posted by malachite in The Depression Files, 29 September 2014 · 97 views

I fear I will be accused of the deadliest of all sins: self-diagnosis. But, in my defense, I have lived with myself for 35 years, and I am not entirely uninformed.

Here's the thing: I was always asked by pdocs if I had "racing thoughts." I knew what they meant was "abnormal" racing thoughts; in my mind, having thoughts that sped around in your brain and...



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