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I hate myself and I want to die

Posted by malachite in The Depression Files, 24 April 2014 · 57 views

Oh wow. My day has been emotional lability at its finest. I got monstrously suicidal for awhile and then was okay. Mostly not okay. Crying jags. I started a couple new meds tonight and I am almost throwing up from nausea. Trileptal and Vistaril. I don't know what's causing it but I think I need an anti emetic.

I am also smoking again. Yay. There's nothin...

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Not sure if I mentioned this

Posted by confused in confused's Blog, 23 April 2014 · 49 views

My daughter had a blood test to re-check her lipids. In December her cholesterol was 217. We had made changes but her numbers hadn't improved, but we kept with the changes we had made. Her new levels were much better. Her cholesterol dropped about 30 points.

She has had an ear infection for 2 weeks now. She was on one antibiotic for 10 days and now sh...

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So I'm fine

Posted by Squish in Squish's Blog, 23 April 2014 · 33 views

All the joint pain stuff I whinge about so often is just soft tissue-muscle pain-bad posture stuff. I saw a rheumatologist. So. Take ibuprofen. Get an appointment with the physio at my gp's surgery. Organize a better desk chair, a better mattress. Exercise. Don't Worry About It.

.............

I've been pushing myself to do course assignments that count...

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Zoloft, Saga 1080432423

Posted by writehellarandomshiny in The Real World Editorial Of SpriteandShiny, 23 April 2014 · 61 views

Zoloft, Saga 1080432423 Trying hard to stay awake on Zoloft. I don't remember having this difficult a time of staying awake before. Every day it gets a little better, but I still feel like I'm sleepwalking. I'm really keeping my fingers crossed. I'm not yet seemingly feeling any positive side effects. I can only hope that changes very, very soon.

Today, however, I did go to a n...

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Brother dead at 28

Posted by Wonderful.Cheese in Wonderful.Cheese's Blog, 23 April 2014 · 173 views

My brother died and I just found out. :(

I'm in shock.

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blog therapy

Posted by Crayforme in Crayforme's Blog, 23 April 2014 · 50 views

I don't feel good, I know I need help but I just can't do it. Medical professionals are always spouting shit about going to the nearest hospital when you feel unsafe but they don't realize how shitty you will be treated when you get there.

In my city there are two large hospitals, one actually has a Emergency Mental Health which is a seperate part of the...

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Something to ponder...

Posted by Laudanum in Laudanum's Blog, 23 April 2014 · 54 views

Ok...I had my meeting and ...tbh...I dont know if it was worth it...They seemed to concentrate on things that may violate law etc but arent as big a concern as others. What I mean is she concentrated on my not being able to record lecture. That's fine but that doesnt bother me NEARLY as much, if at all, as being asked why I had this accommodation and then...

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Harassment Update

Posted by shesellsseashells in My Life by the Shore, 23 April 2014 · 104 views

I went and spoke with the director of the office that handles sexual harassment yesterday afternoon. She was very sympathetic. She told me that I should make an appointment with one of her investigators if I want to move forward with the complaint. I called today and he can't see me until next Friday--gah! In the meantime I e-mailed my boss/professor/...

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can it get more ridiculous?

Posted by yarnandcats in the yarn closet, 23 April 2014 · 80 views
tdoc

phone call from the care coordinator
(the evangelical mental health care coordinator)
went like this:
"i'm calling all our female providers in your county"
"and asking if they provide in-home therapy"
"so far, i've called (rattles off list) and this (particular person)"
(who J and i have BOTH SEEN BEFORE)
"doesn't do in-home services"
(said with a note of...

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Just call me lumpy

Posted by MrTastybutt in MrTastybutt's Blog, 23 April 2014 · 85 views

I must have wiggled the needle when I injected my Lantus. It's lumpy and I'm pretty sure it's going to bruise.

Ze kid was in a better mood. I gave him his shot and did well.

Hubby is watching Supernatural right now. Today is his 45th birthday. I didn't get him anything. I did last year. Maybe I should do something sexual for him, but what? I should prob...

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Hole No More

Posted by amicyco2 in A Cutter's Life, 23 April 2014 · 52 views

This morning after washing my hair I noticed that my earring came out, but the funny thing was the earring was intact with the back still on so I looked in the mirror and sure enough my earlobe is split in two.....UGH!!!! The only thing I like about myself is my eyes and earlobes cause I can wear 3 pair of earrings and they make me feel feminine, now I l...

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My life, how different it is

Posted by Aanga in Aanga's Blog, 23 April 2014 · 81 views

My life, how different it is I know that many of you have known me for a good several years now and seen many of my ups and downs (even though I deleted my blog several years ago).

I have now been out of treatment for over a year and have not been hospitalized since. I work full time at a Domestic Violence Shelter. I have been with my partner, Ashley, for over a year now. We had a b...

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Dentist&FoodShame&Ambien therapy

Posted by sourlemon in sourlemon's Blog, 22 April 2014 · 65 views

I had a dentist appt today. It was horrible and it doesn't help that my dentist is incredibly insensitive. She noticed a history of bulimia in my teeth last year during an exam. I was quick to correct her last year, "I used to be mia. I prefer ana." Wtf?! I couldn't believe that came out of my mouth then.

Today, she looked in my mouth and said, "Wel...

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I bet he blocked me

Posted by magpie in magpie's Blog, 22 April 2014 · 69 views

God, why did I text him? He won't reply. I bet he blocked my texts. I'm not a catrastrophist. "Yo you're the only one I can bitch to about _____." He thinks that I'm annoying. Why do I even care about him? I just want his attention please.

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Life Is Depressing

Posted by Horizons in Horizon's Blog, 22 April 2014 · 7 views

Small things seem to really be triggering my moods lately. Today it was just an unexpected expense with my fiance's new job. I thought we would have the money to do some fun things and I guess now we probably won't. I'm just so tired of life seeming like drudgery with no joy in it. I keep putting off work I really need to be doing because I'm depressed an...

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Full disclosure or close enough to it

Posted by Phil Devoid in Phil Devoid's Blog, 22 April 2014 · 84 views

My apologies first off for navigation problems. I'm new here. I'm debating on my use here and vice versa. I am not in therapy at this time and not on therapy drugs, They and it simply didn't work for me. It is clear to me that many people here are suffering far more than me. Not to say that I'm not. The last thing I want to do is add to anyone else's sh...

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I don't think my brain made it back

Posted by MisterJoshua in Transmissions from the Northern Country, 21 April 2014 · 60 views

Yesterday it was 77 degrees. After the winter we've had, it felt like 100. SO and I drove out to a state park and took a five mile hike along the river and then up on the bluffs. It was so amazing. The water was very still so the trees reflected perfectly into them in that trippy kind of way. None of the trees have leaves yet so we got excellent views fro...

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4/21

Posted by Hpunk94 in Hpunk94's Blog, 21 April 2014 · 48 views

I have another busy week ahead of me...
- I was out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday of last week, mostly at the same place (local LGBT center). I should get paid for all the time I put into volunteering there! Ha. They are probably tired of seeing my face.
That took a bunch of energy out of me, but at the same time I guess it's good bec...

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New doc, New chances?

Posted by Stronghold in Stronghold's Blog, 21 April 2014 · 50 views
changing doctor

To continue from my last entry, I gave more thought to possibility, that my current pdoc might change after I tell about my self harm.

We have talked about moving me to different doctor/team before, because current one refuses to diagnose me. Somehow it doesn't belong to their "policies" to diagnose young people. (Im 19 btw) Maybe they are afraid of mark...

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anxiety

Posted by Cherriichan in Cherriichan's confusing place, 21 April 2014 · 114 views

I'm becoming very anxious and worked up because of my exams, and my lack of preparation for them so far and I thought that maybe writing out my thoughts like this would help me become less anxious and maybe help me to figure out my next steps.

I'm scared of going back to 6th Form tomorrow, for social and educational reasons. I've been too worked up / de...



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