Fuck Off! No Wait. Fuck Me Now! http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:17:15 +0000 60 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36598-my-name-is-heather/
I went through DBT in 2006, and I may have to undergo it again. Maybe I need a refresher. Maybe I never got my head around it. Maybe it got lost. Maybe I got lost.

I'll be around here a lot. I'm pretty scared that I will lose what I have built up these past few years, I am pretty scared that I will lose the people that I love. I'm scared that this is it for me. But I am committed to learning the skills necessary to manage this illness.

I just wanted some support.]]> Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:17:15 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36598-my-name-is-heather/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36362-afraid-to-ask-for-help/ Hi. My name is Ceilidh.
I've never been diagnosed with any sort of personality disorder or neurological disorder in my life, but I feel like I might have something wrong with me.
I know self-diagnosis is dangerous, but I've been reading up on personality disorders for the past couple years, and I feel like I fit some of the descriptions.
The thing is, I'm afraid to bring it up because I feel like.. it might be perceived as attention-seeking and I'll be turned away, or something similar.

I just want to know who I should ask for help, if anyone.
Thanks in advance.]]> Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:41:17 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36362-afraid-to-ask-for-help/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36356-can-bpd-just-develop-suddenlye/ I'm 27 and this is kinda new to me.
I can kinda see where some of the symptoms were mine all through life - fear of abandonment and the like.
But never this crazy until after I was assaulted almost 7yrs ago.


I guess i'm just trying to figure out this lable, and how it fits into my life, as it is I recognize more of myself in the disorder.\

Anyways I look forward to reading y'alls posts and hopefully gaining some insight into this world.]]> Sun, 07 Mar 2010 14:02:58 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36356-can-bpd-just-develop-suddenlye/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36340-schizoid-pd-feeling-lost-in-social-environments/
When I go somewhere social I never know what to do. If there's some sort of goal/activity (ie class, movies) I'm fine but if not I just feel completely lost. And anytime the social situation strays from some sort of defined activity I get lost again, never knowing what to do. It's like I become completely passive to everything.

I don't necessarily hate the idea of having friends but I do prefer solitude because it takes too much energy to do anything. I go out of my way sometimes to hang out with people despite not wanting to, for example, and I share a room with other people instead of just by myself. The latter I do because if not I feel I'd become hikikimori/neet/a hermit or whatever and stop going to classes.


I also have OCD tendencies (really bad about collecting things) and go into hypomania sometimes. And I daydream a lot. Like I'll be talking to someone and they'll say something which causes me to start thinking about something else, or I'll be listening to music but really my mind is elsewhere.]]> Sat, 06 Mar 2010 18:32:35 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36340-schizoid-pd-feeling-lost-in-social-environments/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36260-im-an-asshole-magnet/
It's not that people beat me up or anything. It's just that, in the past, I've always been chasing people, and sooner or later, it ends horribly. There's my ex-boyfriend who pretended to be the ultimate polyamorous person while telling me and his other girlfriend different things all along, my ex-girlfriend who broke up with me by yelling at me over the phone about how she didn't give a fuck about my depression, and how immature and stupid I was, and my latest failure - a girl who pretended to be all over me while making fun of me to her friends before cutting off contact with me because our friendship was "too intense" for her, after I pretty much would have done anything to make her happy.

I'm thinking this has something to do with my borderline-ish-ness, but I really don't know. Has anyone here experienced anything similar, or have any words of wisdom? I'd rather not be relationship-free my whole life because I don't know why this keeps happening.]]> Tue, 02 Mar 2010 18:00:18 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36260-im-an-asshole-magnet/