CrazyBoards: Social Phobia

Full text article on neurosurgery for social phobia

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 05:10:47 +0000

This is older but it is a full text article.

http://www.ispub.com/ostia/index.php?xmlFilePath=journals/ijs/vol7n2/social.xml

A few people have posted recently complaining of intractable social phobia. This is just a reminder that this option is out there if you can find anyone to do it.

Conversation Failure

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:18:33 +0000

So, I don't like to talk much. It is confusing. I like people most of the time and really crave to be surrounded by people who love me and I find interesting, but I seem to talk far less than most people. A lot of times my sentences are very short; I notice that other people become more descriptive. I don't know if I cut myself short because I'm afraid that no one will care what I have to say, or they won't understand, or if I just don't think it is necessary. ?

Also, very often I don't seem to understand what people are saying to me or I have no thoughts on what they have said, at least not in time to respond before they loose interest in the conversation. It would take me a while to picture and understand everything that was just said to me and then take a long time to think of what could be added to that thought or what i should ask. I do have social anxiety so this is worst when I have not known the person for a long time, but it also seems to happen with the people closest to me. Conversation is sort of hard for me. I usually just want to talk about whatever is in my head and I don't really feel like engaging in the normal flow of idea exchange that is conversation.

This problem is sort of severe lately. Maybe it is bad because I'm depressed, but these days when someone is speaking to me, especially anyone that is not my boyfriend, my best friend, or my sister, I just wish they would stop. When their sentences end I have nothing at all to say and it is painful/scary for me to be trapped by this person's words that are being spoken at me. I just want to be silent together or be alone. Don't know if this is just what I am like, or if it is mostly anxiety/depression. This problem seems to keep me from really connecting with people and I feel alone.

I know I just brought up several different problems with different aspects of conversation and my post is probly pretty vague and confusing, but I can't think of how else to write it right now. So, anyone else have similar feelings/confusion during conversation?

-Amanda

S.P. and not having an SO

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:24:52 +0000

I'm a relatively new member here, and this is my first topic-opener, so I hope I don't break any rules, or whatnot...

Reading many of the posts here in the Social Phobia corner, I am struck by how many people suffer from the disease yet have been able to get married or have a boy or girlfriend.
It kind of makes me feel like I'm in a category all by myself. I've never had a significant other, or sexual partner (take your pick) entirley due to my S.P. And if I told you how old I am, you'd think "holy moly that's hardcore SP!"

Do people find others *despite* their SP, or does the SP develop *after* they've begun a relationship?

Whether it's the SP, or some other problem like depression and Bipolar (count me in on those) everyone seems to have someone that they live with. Alright, I'm a half of a century old, (holy moly!), and it's beginning to look like I'll be dying alone (hope I don't stink up the joint, LOL!). I can't seem to believe that anyone would put up with me, that anyone would think I'm good enough for them (when they got to know me), that anyone would want to be seen with me. It's not my looks or behavior, but my self-esteem. I work amongst successful people, and with accomplished people, and New York City is just elbow-to-elbow with Alpha's and A-Listers, or whatever. Nobody wants a working-class college drop-out.

Does anyone have an opinion or reaction to this?
I don't know how much I can keep a "conversation" going on-line, as I only use the computer once in a while, and when I do, it's usually 2 or 3 in the morning.

Thank you for reading.

Have you ever skipped.....

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 15:00:21 +0000

Have you ever skipped school, college or university because of your social phobia?

What could this possibly be?

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 12:44:55 +0000

I was approached regarding my grades, namely class participation. (just a bit of a background, I am in high school, and 'class participation' is one of the aspects that make up our final grade). Well I was approached [won't specify the time, I feel like if I say it they will find out, and somehow trace me here, I don't know why, it's not important anyway] inside the library, as if I was to be intentionally talked to. The library is not an incidental location, if you want to be there, you go there. I think I was tracked down, or something, because I have been going to the library using the computers there for the past few weeks or so. And I thought that no one really paid attention to me. I certainly don't pay attention to where certain people go to at certain times, unless I happen to have an interest in them.

The thing is, there are a lot (probably half of every class, being gernerous) of people that do not recite at all in class. It's not like there's a question and answer thing everytime (and almost rhetorical questions at that), because teaching styles differ for each teacher. They are socialable however, outside of class. I think it is because that I am unsociable outside of class that is the reason. I am very positive that this principal did not go and talk to all those other students. Instead he chose to talk to me. Which is understanable, I am the quietest student socially (not just in class, in class I think I am fairly close to average to those students who too do not recite, except they are not classified as "quiet" for some reason). Whenever I get a report card, I am always referred to as a "quiet" person, or it usually is peppered with remarks such as "Lcestdany should recite more", I think it is almost a dilution of me, the same way a person who . It's like a "fat" person always being remembered as "fat" and nothing else, except that is not said as it is deemed rude to say, and somehow "quiet" is not. So even though I act normal and do nothing to arouse any suspicion, I still allude the persona of quietness, I suppose, because it had become the single defining characteristic that people can latch onto (and I can't blame them either, it is impossible for a single teacher to take track of 150+ students, maybe their grades, yes, but not their every single personality. I think they should just quit trying to decipher personalities, stick to what they know, so yeah, the whole class participation thing is bullshit, how do you even begin to grade something as subjective as that?).

Well I was talked to, the converstion went something like, (he was actually being "friendly", in a way, not in a chastizing sort of way, but I feel like there's some sort of hidden intention/message) that I should recite more in class, and that every teacher had said the same thing about me, about me being quiet. I think there's something in that statement, that he is trying to make it seem like no one is on my side and everybody is in unanimous agreement on that. I think they subtly want me to leave the school, of course they can't do that since it's a private school and I am not failing in any way, but maybe they will deem me inadequate or something in that aspect, maybe I am disrupting the class atmosphere, maybe my classmates don't want me in any class either, like my presence makes them nervous and they'd rather not have me there. I'd like to leave too, but i'd rather after i've finished my time. I didn't think of saying this at the time, but I would've said, "so do a lot of other people too," but I just nodded.

I am aware that this seems like a very small matter to you guys, and that is a giant wall of text, and maybe I didn't come across so clearly, but I am very disturbed as to why that was said to me in a manner that does not seem to be coincidental. What could that possibly be about? Why did he specifically choose to talk to me?