How Do You Make a Hormone? Kick Her in the Ankle. http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:25:12 +0000 60 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33914-best-ad-for-pmdd/
So my question:

My research (very limited, I admit) has come up that Zoloft, Paxil Cr and Prozac are the best antidepresants in the treatment of PMDD. I'm thinking of suggesting a new AD to my new pdoc, and I don't know which one would be the least sucky. I've been on Zoloft but admittedly I was in a really bad state at the time and took myself off it and 3 other meds cold turkey because I was frustrated with them, after about 3 months. So perhaps I didn't allow myself time to get the maximum effect from it. I might be willing to try it again.

have you guys had any experience with these 3 ADs? Which one comes with the least amount of suckage? Keep in mind that the Celexa has caused major sexual dysfunction which has left me more than a little upset. So that would factor into my decision. I want to have a sex drive again, and to be able to experience pleasure from sex. It's been a long time since either of those have happened.

So yeah... if y'all were in my situation, which AD would you choose? if any other AD has been helpful for your PMDD, I'd love to hear about it.

Thanks you guys.
]]> Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:25:12 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33914-best-ad-for-pmdd/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33693-since-thyroids-been-gone/
I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about having my GP refer me to an endocrinologist again because I'm sick of having her ask me if I'm taking my thyroid medication. I never stop. So What am I doing wrong?]]> Thu, 12 Nov 2009 11:22:53 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33693-since-thyroids-been-gone/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33554-cytomel-seemed-so-good/
I don't really know what to say, because so much has happened to me, and my memory isn't good so much of the past 10 years have been a blur.

I have a diagnosis of Bipolar 1, and despite being on a variety of medications the past few years, I haven't been able to get my head back together. My ongoing symptoms (that is, in between florid manias) have been trouble concentrating, fogginess, vague or unformed thoughts, disorganized thinking, trouble getting my head together to get housework or basic tasks done, going blank, problems with memory, confusion, numbness, anxiety, sadness mixed in, losing my interests, and losing the ability to undertake and finish projects. One big issue is not knowing how I feel. I told my most recent psychiatrist that I feel confused a lot of the time. Every so often it's like I don't even know what I'm thinking, like I could be thinking any arbitrary thing. Words lose their meaning. I have trouble reading and really "getting it". It's like I don't know what something should FEEL like, that the feeling is not quite there, and I have an inability to find the right words from my memory to describe it anyways.

I have had physical problems too - sexual dysfunction that exists even when I'm manic (yes, bad sex even while manic), urinary issues that in a man might resemble prostate problems, a hand injury that made it impossible for me to type for over half a year, occasional joint paint in my hips and knees, problems with hot and cold intolerance, occasional stinging pain in my feet which goes away on its own in a few minutes, weakness going up stairs, and a throat that starts hurting so easily that I sing less than I used to.

Most of the treatments I've had in the past have been in hospital, for mania, and very traumatic. All they did was calm me down, not restore me to feeling like myself. I didn't feel good on any of the medications. I felt slow and still had trouble concentrating or being interested in things while on Seroquel, lamotrigine (Lamictal) made me feel more alert, a little less foggy, but didn't really do much else, besides possibly keeping me up at night, Wellbutrin might as well have been an insomnia-promoting sugar pill, valproic acid made me feel like I could jump off a bridge (I had to take Seroquel just to keep the edge off), Risperidone was similar (had to take cogentin), Olanzapine made me eat like crazy and was another one of those calm-me-down in the hospital drugs that I just resented taking, I was only on Celexa briefly but it gave me a dry mouth and took away what tiny libido I already have without doing anything good...

And now I'm on lithium.

Lithium seems to have, again, calmed me down, this time from a mixed episode brought on by going off of Seroquel (in agreement with doctor) and just being on lamotrigine. Honestly I can't even remember what all brought me to this point, except that I couldn't relate to people, my thoughts and opinions and feelings about things would change rapidly, I would forget what I had said and done earlier, and of course, I had insomnia for weeks and weeks and weeks, but it was a kind of "tired but wired" situation. I remember my emotions were still confusing during this time, that I was trying to "connect with them", and really just failing, and weirding some people out to boot. Someone felt lied to because I started this romantic thing with them during that time, only later to feel numb and confused and forget what had gone on between us.

I don't understand how people can know so clearly that they have bipolar disorder. I don't feel "manic", especially at the time. I don't recall thinking "Oh great, I'm so happy". I don't run out and spend a bundle, or have sex with lots of people. I can't even generalize what happens. TOO much. At the time things seem TOO significant. Journeys of discovery, where life seems to sort of make sense finally, and I'm learning things, and growing, and meeting people, and changing the world (grandiosity, I say now).

What's worse is that I don't finish up with these "episodes" and go back to normal, or even a "depression" followed by normal.

I'm sort of tired of being told I have this mental illness, and am desperately wanting it to just be something physical, e.g. a thyroid problem. Thyroid problems run in my family. Mental illness doesn't. No one else in my family has bipolar or schizophrenia, but my mom has been hypothyroid since her early 20s, my dad apparently used to be on thyroid for a while, my mom's sister was hyperthyroid, and her brother now takes thyroid hormones. This might be a dumb thing to hold onto, but years ago I saw a "medical intuitive" and she told me (without me telling her a word of my problems) that I had a thyroid problem that was causing my emotional problems.

Over the years I've had tests, and the TSH has always been normal, like between 1 and 2. But since starting lithium in mid-July, the levels have just continued to increase. Last count they were over 5. So finally my doctor said she would try me on some thyroid hormones and prescribed 25 mcg per day of Cytomel, all to be taken in one dose.

I started Cytomel last Wednesday, and at first the results were dramatic. I felt sharp and clear. I was thinking in complete sentences. I felt like I had real emotions, too. I felt like someone had finally discovered something. I didn't feel confusion. I felt like I was comprehending things better. I swear, I could tell when it hit my blood stream. I had lots of energy. I could get up and go do things without having to think super hard and keep pushing myself. I felt a bit amped up, though, a bit, frustrated or something.

Still, it was pretty amazing. I thought, "For sure there must be something wrong with my thyroid. This must be the answer." I was *certain* of it, and I'm never certain of anything. (except when deluded - always a possibility)

Who knows, maybe that I'm even able to type this right now is testament to me still being on the Cytomel, but after only 2 or 3 days, the effects started wearing off again and I felt mentally dull and indecisive again. Today I was in bed all day. I feel so discouraged now. (Though maybe that's a good sign - that I can actually feel SOMETHING?)

I don't know what to do now. Why would I get such a strong response for 2 or 3 days, then have it all fall apart? Did taking 25 mcg at once overwhelm my adrenals or something? Should I be taking split doses instead? Should I be using a T4 drug so my bloodstream has a more steady level?

I don't know what else to do anymore... I don't want to take any more anti-psychotics or anti-depressants, and I'm not even sure if it's mood that's the issue here anyways. I can't work or study or anything right now. Ironically, before I was even on any regular medication, I would have periods of better functioning, albeit punctuated by disaster.

Do you think it's worth asking my doctor to refer me to an endocrinologist in case something with my thyroid can be discovered? And is it weird to develop a high TSH so quickly after starting lithium (I started July 20 of this year and by early October my TSH had gone from under 2 to over 5)?

Thank you for any advice you can give me. Sorry if this message is too long and scattered - my mind is scattered and it can be hard to remember/assemble patterns.

Sincerely,
Sara]]> Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:21:00 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33554-cytomel-seemed-so-good/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33338-weird-lady-thing/
The weird thing, to me, is that I actually don't seem to bleed at night like, at all.

First day is spotting all day, nothing at night, then every day until the end(about 3-5 days) I wonder how I bleed so much don't die, but still, nothing at night.

Does that happen to anyone else? Why does my fucking period stop at night? Not that I'm really complaining, but I've never had this happen to me before, is it something I should be concerned about? Should I ask my doctor?

And no, I'm not sleeping under water.]]> Sun, 25 Oct 2009 18:10:03 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33338-weird-lady-thing/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33331-i-am-so-sad-right-now-i-think-i-am-gonna-need-a-hysterectomy/ ]]> Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:50:09 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/33331-i-am-so-sad-right-now-i-think-i-am-gonna-need-a-hysterectomy/