The Pole Dance http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php Sun, 21 Mar 2010 01:09:25 +0000 60 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36795-i-lowered-my-lithium/ Sun, 21 Mar 2010 01:09:25 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36795-i-lowered-my-lithium/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36794-help/ ]]> Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:36:45 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36794-help/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36793-heading-for-mixed-state/
The thing is, my self-harm urges have been coming back, even though I'm otherwise "happy". I've also been getting thoughts like "if I'm going to have crazy mood swings my whole life, I might as well die." I slept for 3 hours in the afternoon today (mostly the result of a hangover, I was stupid and had two drinks last night and forgot just how much my meds fuck with my alcohol tolerance), but now I'm really energetic again.

WTF is happening? And should I just wait until I see my doctor on Thursday, or try to get in to see somebody before then?]]> Sat, 20 Mar 2010 21:42:56 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36793-heading-for-mixed-state/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36792-hospitalin-patient-stigma/ , nice place to live in the burbs, respected among peers, good church with friends, etc. None of them are aware that I'm BP, just my immediate family and pdoc. In other words, if they found out I was hospitalized for a MI, their opinion of me would likely swing 180 degrees. In other words, I have things to lose.

Anyway, it all turned out OK and at this point I'm relatively stable and not anywhere "near the edge" I was back then. It's just that I can't help wondering how this tug-o-war between getting psych help and watching my world crumble around me could turn out if it happens again. Anyone else have this type of thing? For those who have self-admitted to a hospital for MI, who gets to know about it? Health insurance? Employer? Thanks in advance for help and advice.]]> Sat, 20 Mar 2010 20:14:11 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36792-hospitalin-patient-stigma/ http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36790-wanting-to-live-in-the-past/
I know that things were not as idyllic as my memory paints them to be. But I was wondering whether the rest of you have the same desires to go back to a simpler time, a time before you exhibited BP symptoms, before you even knew what depression was, and when all seemed simple and right with the world? Is this just my depression or BP talking, or is this normal for someone my age (mid 40s)? Am I just becoming one of those cranky old people who thinks the world was better when they were a kid? ]]> Sat, 20 Mar 2010 16:01:47 +0000 http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/index.php/topic/36790-wanting-to-live-in-the-past/