103 replies to this topic

[Angeljasmine]

Something funny now... remember those tops that "clip" together under your crotch (women's tops!), kind of like those baby clothes that do up in the same way, over the nappy. Well when those used to be in fashion, I remember wearing a black one on a night out, and going to the loo in a bar while drunk, but then forgetting to do up the bottom bit, leaving the front and back hanging out. LOL. Anyone done that?

Tell us your stories!

Edited by Angeljasmine, 23 October 2006 - 06:16 PM.

[Dee]

I have so many, but this is one of the more recent ones, in New York City, just before I quit drinking.

I had already been to a small punk show and another bar with my friend. I vaguely remember the show, but don't remember being at a bar called Manitoba's.

Outside bar number one, my friend and I decided to make out to make some girl she hated jealous. At the time there was some brilliant logic to this, fuck knows. The rest of the night we were wearing each others lipstick and too drunk to notice.

Don't remember bar number 2, but there was one.

We were on our way to stop number 3 when I had this weeble incident on Avenue B in NY. I started to fall backward and some guy caught me and lifted me upright. Apparently (don't remember anything) I said "Thank you kind sir" and proceeded to fall forward. He caught me again. I giggled, thanked him again and fell backwards. He caught me a few more times, then got angry and said I was just making fun of him. I regained my balance, laughed and said "Let's go to the Raven".

We proceeded to the Raven where my girlfriend ordered us 2 double vodka cranberries (this story is confirmed by staff at the Raven) then we both went to the washroom where we remained for about 30 minutes, laughing hysterically about something (it could be heard). We "composed" ourselves, grabbed our drinks and went outside to sit on the bench and smoke WITH OUR DRINKS. The bouncers were telling us to give them our drinks while we were outside smoking because we couldn't drink on the street. We thought they were cutting us off and we were protesting. My girlfriend was being loud and forthright in a slurred voive "Yourrr not taking our drinks away" and I was being cute and coy saying "Mr nice bouncer, would you be a doll and grab us some more cocktails please?"

Reports from the staff at the Raven say we ordered 6 double vodka and cranberry. 2 we ordered and left on the bar untouched. Two, we drank on the bench and two we ordered as take out and LEFT THE CLUB WITH THEM! We just walked around alphabet city drinking our "to go" cocktails. Apparently, we paid for NONE of these drinks.

The next morning, my friend and I woke up wearing these huge white t-shirts with some beer add on them. We had no clue where they came from. Still don't.

My friend went back to the Raven. She had the pleasure of detailed recounts from the bartender and bouncers, who were sweet enough to ask how I was doing, LOL. She never went back again. LMAO!

Edited by Dee, 12 November 2006 - 08:51 AM.

[Latin Girl]

I have so many, but this is one of the more recent ones, just before I quit drinking.

I had already been to a small punk show and another bar with my friend. I vaguely remember the show, but don't remember being at a bar called Manitoba's.

Outside bar number one, my friend and I decided to make out to make some girl she hated jealous. At the time there was some brilliant logic to this. The rest of the night we were wearing each others lipstick and too drunk to notice.

Don't remember bar number 2.

We were on our way to stop number 3 when I had this weeble incident on Avenue B in NY. I started to fall backward and some guy caught me and lifted me upright. Apparently (don't remember anything) I said "Thank you kind sir" and proceeded to fall forward. He caught me again. I giggled, thanked him again and fell backwards. He caught me a few more times, then got angry and said I was just making fun of him. I regained my balance, laughed and said "Let's go to the Raven".

We proceeded to the Raven where my girlfriend ordered us 2 double vodka cranberries (this story is confirmed by staff at the Raven) then we both went to the washroom where we remained for about 30 minutes, laughing hysterically about something (it could be heard). We "composed" ourselves, grabbed our drinks and went outside to sit on the bench and smoke WITH OUR DRINKS. The bouncers were telling us to give them our drinks while we were outside smoking because we couldn't drink on the street. We thought they were cutting us off and we were protesting. My girlfriend was being loud and forthright in a slurred voive "Yourrr not taking our drinks away" and I was being cute and coy saying "Mr nice bouncer, would you be a doll and grab us some more cocktails please?"

Reports from the staff at the Raven say we ordered 6 double vodka and cranberry. 2 we ordered and left on the bar untouched. Two, we drank on the bench and two we ordered as take out and LEFT THE CLUB WITH THEM! We just walked around alphabet city drinking our "to go" cocktails. Apparently, we paid for NONE of these drinks.

The next morning, my friend and I woke up wearing these huge white t-shirts with some beer add on them. We had no clue where they came from. Still don't.

My friend went back to the Raven. She had the pleasure of detailed recounts from the bartender and bouncers, who were sweet enough to ask how I was doing, LOL. She never went back again. LMAO!

Dee you rock!!!! Good Read!!!

I have to many!! My best friend is the best her stories out do mine.

But lets just say my last one was a remake of "Anna Nicole" when she was drunk at the awards show

My best friend told me I kept saying Look at my pretty Shoes and twriling my dress and say looking how hot

my dress is and she had to pull it down because she said you could see my underwear.

I don't get drunk often..........My best friend and I are happy drunks but she is the one with the

best stories.

[Boz-pot]

I'm afraid I can't top any of that, or even get up past its knees, but here's my two cents (or should that be, pennies)

At a sixth form Christmas party I got so drunk that I passed out and threw up, the last thing I remembered being that I felt guilty for kissing somebody who then told me he had a girlfriend. When I came round I was facec down on the carpet in the club being force fed water. I think I must have slept for a bit cos then I woke up in a quite unecessary ambulance premumably ordered for me by one of my teachers or maybe my brother, I dunno... anyway, my parents were there and we went to A&E. I was still plastered but I felt very silly as I didn't think I needed an ambulance. I spent the next few minutes apologising for all the unecessariness and telling the nurse about my anorexia (I was underweight so the alcohol had a worse effect than normal).

Similar situation minus the ambulance happened at a friend's 18th birthday party. My consciousness went from seeing my best friend wearing nothing but her knickers (she was playing strip poker and obviously losing) but with her long hair covering her breasts, to waking up over the toilet surrounded by people. I asked them if I'd been sick and they replied "Yes, you have been VERY sick!"

On both those occasions I was depressed and purposefully tried to get drunk to blot it out

Good times were the obligatory (hooray!) pub visit with people from my church choir after choir practise when once I had 2 and 1/2 pints of strong cider on an empty stomach. I felt fine at the time - moderately tipsy, in a fun way. When I got home at about 11pm, I decided to lie on the couch just for a moment, and of course, inevitably, I fell asleep. I woke up in my bed at 3.40am completely sober but not being able to remember how I got there. The strangest thing though was that I had my pyjama trousers on but my day clothes, complete with full jewellery, on my top half. My mum claims that I was shouting and falling over and she had to make me go to bed, but I literally don't remember a thing.

I wasn't so drunk at this time, but it was after a social type evening thing with friends, and my brother and I started to improvise in the manner of Pete & Dud (I was Dud of course as I'm the right height!). We carried on with it for about two hours. Most likely it wasn't all that funny but in our slightly inebriated state we thought it was hillarious.

Often though at parties etc. people have though I was drunk due to my mania, when I hadn't touched a drop.

Edited by Boz-pot, 23 October 2006 - 07:39 PM.

[Dweii]

When on a ski trip I was out drinking with my brother and sister and some other people. We get home, me quite drunk at the time, go to bed. Next thing I know me and my sister are scrubbing something off the floor.

Me: Uhm... what happened here? Why are we doing this?
Sister: I woke up and you were sitting and peeing on the carpet. I screamed at me and you just said "What?". I asked you what the hell you were doing and you said "I'm peeing, duh!" in a pissed off tone.

Edit: The same night, apparently my brother asked me to go up to the band for a song request, which I did. When they were in the middle of playing a song.


I've also had total blackouts where I probably did stuff I don't want to remember anyway.


Edit again: I once woke up naked in my bathtub with no water in it, bruises all over my body, no idea how I got there. Apparently I had been at this party, that I don't remember much of, getting so drunk that I fell down the stairs into a bush. Still, I was so happy everyone at the party was convinced I was on E. My friend had to take me home (an hour with bus), but unfortunately didn't make sure I went to bed. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to take a nice hot bath before I went to bed (I do that sometimes when I come home tipsy), obviously not realizing how drunk I was.

Edited by Helena, 23 October 2006 - 07:40 PM.

[Loon-A-TiK]

i was 16 and on a flight from the US to Manchester, UK. my boyfriend was on the plane with me but was sitting away from me.

i kept ordering wine. i kept drinking more wine. in the course of my wine drinking, the 40-50yr old-ish guy next to me started to look really hot. i put my hand on his leg. now, his wife and kids were sitting in front of us. everyone thought it was funny, i remember that, and i was offended that anyone was watching a private moment between me and this guy (who i wanted to make out with).

i was on glass #6-7 when he said to me (somewhere in my drunken haze i remember this part) "you're such a nice girl, but you need to sit back, relax, and stop drinking". his family was cracking up and he was trying his best to be composed. i didn't know if he liked me or what

so, i sat back, and passed out.

i woke up when we were descending into manchester. i was instantly sick from the descent and the alcohol together. i couldn't get the barf bag out of the seat pocket fast enough, so i THREW UP ALL OVER THE GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was SO MORTIFIED, because i instantly remembered what had happened when i was drunk, and i was covered in barf too. i grabbed my travel bad, which was under the seat in front of me, and ran for the bathroom. the flight attendant told me to sit down, but i said no and went in the bathroom anyway. no one stopped me. i changed clothes with the ones i had in the bag and cleaned up while we were landing. i don't know what happened to the guy, because i was too mortified to go back to my seat.

i asked for a bag and put my barfed-on outfit in it, threw it in my travel bag, and pounced off the plane (from the bathroom) like nothing had happened. my boyfriend hadn't even noticed the incident, or me running to the bathroom, and asked me why i was in different clothes. i told him i got airsick and needed to change. nevermind that i smelled strongly of alcohol.

we got off the plane and met my great aunt, who is a missionary, and drove away with her. i told her to ignore it if i smelled like barf, because i got airsick on the plane, and let her know i needed to wash my clothes. i probably smelled more like alcohol than barf, but nevermind that. everyoen smiled and nodded. i felt like no one believed me (and i'm sure they didn't), but i played the game anyway.

i swore to never drink on the plane again, and i haven't since. except for that one time...but i only had 1!
***********
another time, now, i wasn't drunk but this is still terrible-

this is less terrible, but still terrible

i was living with my dad and my younger sibs. they were like 15, 11, and 8.

i was feeling particularly randy one day and stopped at a store to buy a battery operated friend. i didn't want to take it in the house with me, becaue they'd want to know what i'd bought and there was no way to smuggle it without getting busted, so i put it under the passenger seat of my car.

so i picked the kids up from school one day. my sister, the 11 year old, forgot her backpack in the car and had to go get it. i thought nothing of it.

she came back, proudly displaying my friend to my dad and other sibs, read the title on the box, and asked me why i needed that if i had a boyfriend. talk about terrible!!!

they all laughed. i was mortified.

i told her that sometimes people need it now and if their boyfriend isn't there, they still need it now. everyone laughed again. i took the box from her, went upstairs to my room, and hid it.

they never stopped picking on me about it. the toy was called "the Ultimate Beaver" and they just loved that.

[crazynotstupid]

Embarrassed? ME? Ha!

Anways...there was this one time...(and you just know, with an intro like that...)

I don't remember most of the particulars and they don't matter. It was one of our usual summer throw downs at a friend's place, some of them had been hot tubbing and all that. I left with some other friends to do some drinking elsewhere, my place or something. So, we go back, and everyone's gone. My buddy says to me, as is his wont, "dude, I DARE you to piss in the hot tub!"

Hey, it was a dare, what was I supposed to do???

Anyway someone had loose lips and the next day I get a phone call...ended up helping to clean out the hot tub and refill it before his parents got home.

Ah, summer!

-----------------

Then, let us not forget the time I took this friend out drinking while we were driving around town--as per usual, he was having relationship problems. It was the dead of winter, so we couldn't just kick back somewhere; no, had to be in the car. Anyways, I dropped him back at his place drunk as can be but safely home.

Yeah, right. Come to find out, he got in an argument, left, got back, passed out in the front yard. Had to be treated for hypothermia. Oooops. I caught hell for that, but hey--I didn't make him go walking around in single-digit temps! And he lived! (Unfortunately...)

I could go on, but hey, I can always come back...

[stable not balanced]

hehe. when i was 17, working, i had to be at work at nine. i had been out drinking the night before.

well, i woke up puking (im a next day kinda girl). took some metamucil. when, low and behold, my dad needed the car for the day and volunteered to drive me to work.

damn! i needed alone time on the way to work to try and take care of my little problem.

so, dad's driving, me in passenger, sis right behind w/window open halfway.

"dad, pull over, i'm going to be sick."

"on no, here's an exit we'll go to that hotel."

"no, pull over." and then i puked outside the window.

what i had done was to puke on my sister right behind me with the window halfway open, and it was white from the metamucil! (not too too much, not full force,)

i got to work thinking it was all over with. i puked all day at work and there was no replacement. i would have to say excuse me to the customers and go in the back to puke. a black olive even came out of my nose from when i tried to eat.

i had to suffer until 4pm that day. i think my bosses where highly amused! (family friends)

kathy

[crazynotstupid]

a black olive even came out of my nose from when i tried to eat.

Hehe, that reminds me of another time I was out driving with a friend, I was sucking down vodka and orange soda, and we got some Taco Bell to eat--I had a chicken club burrito.

Well, I end up at home, and I get sick. Sneak downstairs to avoid waking the parents. heave my guts out, and ploomph! A piece of chicken like two inches long comes out my nose!

Ah, to be young again...

[Stew]

Oh lord, so many, so many.

In college I was running for the door to puke outside after chugging about 7 Oz of bourbon and was just able to whip the door open and heave full force into my girlfriend's aunt's face and chest-- I just kept running

Also in college was stumbling home from kegger and encountered open window in library-- woke up next morning with 3 oil paintings in my bedroom that I had cut out of the frames

Also in college, got kicked out of a bar for being too drunk and when getting in my car (smart huh?) noticed that there was a length of chain on ground and the Electric service entrance to the bar was right there too-- hooked the chain up to the power line then took off-- huge shower of sparks and was a chunk of conduit and the electric panel hooked to my car in the morning.

There are many more tragic than these-- I'm truly lucky that I am still alive after my drinking years and never injured anyone other than myself.

Edited by Stew, 12 November 2006 - 06:53 AM.

[Dweii]

Oh yeah that time I was on Åland and my friend puked several (three?) times in the backseat. We ended up having to pay 65 dollars for that.

[HaloGirl66]

after a night at the bar I was plastered, and we had to walk down a long hall, then turn, to get to the exit. what I didn't realize was that there was a full size mirror at the end of the hall. so i walk right into the mirror.
not realizing I was bumping into a mirror, I said "oh, excuse me"
TO MY REFLECTION.
then my frriend grabbed me and drug me the correct way out of the building.

Edited by HaloGirl66, 12 November 2006 - 05:36 PM.

[Waterfall]

I just found this thread.

I have tons. The one I regret the most is the afternoon where I'd been drinking beer. I have mediumistic talents and can communicate with those that have passed. No really I can. I'm bipolar but without psychosis. Anyway, I got a brief feeling of a woman that I assumed was my husband's grandmother. Just a brief impression. I sensed her shy, quiet personality and I knew it was her. So here's the embarassing part. I then proceeded to call my father-in-law AT WORK and tell him about it! I told him his mother had just been here and that she wanted him to know that she was okay. He was very displeased and then bombarded me with tons of questions that I couldn't answer.

I cringe everytime I have to see him to this day and that happened three years ago.

Then there was the time I drove (drunk) to a bar that I figured my ex would be at. I was absolutely smashed. Apparently I took off my sweater on the dance floor because I was hot and the sweater was scratchy. I was kicked out at that point. Ex had to drive me home. I tried to jump out of the car going 65mph and he had to hold onto my collarbone to keep me from suceeding. He ended up with scratches all over his face.

During one black out I started saying "The noses are all gone!"

Mostly just calling people and rambling on and on and saying things I wish I hadn't said. Falling over drunk all over the house when my kids were here. CPS got called on that one.

And why was it that I quit drinking again?

[twinkie enchantress]

I just found this thread.

I have tons. The one I regret the most is the afternoon where I'd been drinking beer. I have mediumistic talents and can communicate with those that have passed. No really I can. I'm bipolar but without psychosis. Anyway, I got a brief feeling of a woman that I assumed was my husband's grandmother. Just a brief impression. I sensed her shy, quiet personality and I knew it was her. So here's the embarassing part. I then proceeded to call my father-in-law AT WORK and tell him about it! I told him his mother had just been here and that she wanted him to know that she was okay. He was very displeased and then bombarded me with tons of questions that I couldn't answer.

I cringe everytime I have to see him to this day and that happened three years ago.

Then there was the time I drove (drunk) to a bar that I figured my ex would be at. I was absolutely smashed. Apparently I took off my sweater on the dance floor because I was hot and the sweater was scratchy. I was kicked out at that point. Ex had to drive me home. I tried to jump out of the car going 65mph and he had to hold onto my collarbone to keep me from suceeding. He ended up with scratches all over his face.

During one black out I started saying "The noses are all gone!"

Mostly just calling people and rambling on and on and saying things I wish I hadn't said. Falling over drunk all over the house when my kids were here. CPS got called on that one.

And why was it that I quit drinking again?\

All i have to say about that, is thank God i'm not the only who hears and sees things that aren't hallucinations but things from a different plane. just thought i'd share that even if others on here think i'm bugshit crazy.

[lost]

This is one of many embarrassing drunken moments. I embarrassed myself last night. But this one stands out because it directly preceeded my rapid descent into mentalism.

I was 20, in the first year of university. Myself and friends went to "formal hall", where you have to wear gowns and eat from the college's subsidised gourmet menu in the surroundings of a medieval hall. It's where the professors eat every night and it is supposed to be a civilised, polite affair. Latin is recited beforehand. We had just seen Fear and loathing.. at the cinema and although we didn't take drugs we were trying to enter into the spirit of the film by bringing multiple bottles of wine along. We set out to get trashed; never a good start but we were naive kids.

I drank a bottle of wine very quickly and then we all started to pour each other wine from the bottles of the slow drinkers. It seemed great fun to throw pennies into each others' glasses which meant that you had to down the glass. After being thrown out for rowdiness and spillage we preceeded to the college bar, arm in arm and singing random made-up songs. some of us stopped off for a TC - tactical chunder - in the bushes on the way.

We really shouldn't have been served but the bar was staffed by students who didn't care. Drinks were cheap courtesy of heavy college funding from benefactors eager to ensure future generations have a nice environment to study hard in.. we had spent most of that year in the bar. So, five tequila slammers each wasn't a big deal and they went down quickly, followed by the obligatory pints of beer. From now on, I don't remember anything. This what I am told happened:

- I start staggering around and trying to initiate conversation about god with strangers which ends with me shouting abuse at a lot of people I don't know.

- I start projectile vomiting at which point I am escorted from the bar.

- two guys prop me up on their shoulders to take me to my room. on the way we cross a stream. I jump in and start frantically tring to front crawl towards a group of ducks, shouting "I want to fuck a duck". The guys I'm with have a dictaphone and the recording of about half an hour of my drunken ranting on it, including the stream incident, apparently still entertains people to this day.

- once back in my room I don't go to bed. I open a bottle of wine and and stagger outside. I am found in the early hours covered in wine, dirty stream-water and weeds, mud and puke ranting outside the doors of people I hardly know. I write several insulting comments on some doors. Apparently one girl I've never spoken to before gets serenaded at 3am with Dire Straits' Romeo and Juliet, which I don't even like.

- Afte launching my wine bottle into a wall outside a student residence I am taken for a talking to by the college porters and threatened with police action. I go to bed.

I wake up late afternoon fully clothed face down on the floor, covered in various nastiness. It appears every possible orifice has emptied itself. However I can't get it together to clean myself up until late evening because the room is spinning and I'm in a sort of twilight state of consciousness I which I am not sure not sure where I am anyway, or even who I am.

I eventually come round and feel like a proper idiot. I can't face people after that and lock myself in my room for weeks and ignore people. With my paranoia already having been creeping in over the last few months, the isolation gets to me and I get very insane very quickly to the point where at the end of term I exist in a different reality of my own anxious imagining.

I really shouldn't get started on the things that happened when I discovered drugs..

[starfish]

2 friends and i got completely wasted on independence day (sept 15) last year and we all did a mess, but i can only remember mine....vaguely theirs....anyway i grabbed my cell phone and called the one i loved back then and started shouting him I LOVE YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKIN BASTARD WHY CANT YOU LOVE ME IF I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LOVE ME LOVE ME...and so on and he just kept on saying "call me tomorrow, you're not doing OK right now"

then i got completely depressed




so i was convinced i would SU that night....i had a little plastic tube in my school backpack with potassium cyanide (KCN) "just in case" as i said....but i was so friggin drunk i was not able to get to my backpack and grab it, not even crawling...so i just kept on crying and cursing humanity...

one of my friends puked in the shower and the puke was red and she screamed "i'm miscarrying!!!" to her b/f's mom on the phone....the other one remained somehow decent and just asked her b/f to fuck her over and over.

i know it's not embarrassing, it's rather pathetic....but it's the best i have to offer

[r.mcmurphy]

there are so many that are too foggy to conjure up. other than going through a couple of windshields in stolen cars, i remember being beaten on the soles of my bare feet by cop's night sticks. i had gotten shitfaced in run down atlantic city (pre casinos) and had a little nap in the front seat of some woman's car. cops continued to teach me a lesson in the drunk tank.

does carbona or testors airplane glue count? after falling down off the stoops with air plane glue dried on one's puss, looking like frankenstein. some times the paper bag was still stuck on when the buzz wore off.

no more, i give up, jail food sucks-been on the wagon 2&1/2 years and counting.

[anonymousguest]

This got really long typing it out, but it was funny so I'm leaving it here for anyone who has the time to read it.

I was in technical training for the Air Force and had been out partying with a bunch of my squadron mates. I was riding home with two guys in a pickup truck and I was in the middle of the seat with one leg on each side of the hump so I had one foot in the drivers side floor area and one foot in the passengers side floor area. I had on these clog sandals with huge thick heels, and I had my money in my pocket. I was totally wasted, and we all decided that we were hungry, so after we left the club we had spent most of the night at, we decided to go through the drive through at Whattaburger. Well, we placed our order and started to pull around to the window. I couldn’t get into my jean pocket while I was sitting, so to open up the pocket I needed to extend my leg—which I did—it just happened to be my left leg, the one in the drivers side floor area. Well, my foot just happened to hit the driver’s foot and jam the gas pedal to the floor. The guy driving freaks out and starts screaming at me “what the hell are you doing?!” as he frantically steers the truck out of the drive through line, across the parking lot, over a median, through some bushes, and into the parking lot of a hotel next door. All this time, (remember I’m totally wasted) I’m thinking “what the hell is this guy doing, why are we leaving the drive through, and why is he yelling at me?” totally oblivious to the fact that my foot is on the pedal. Finally, the driver kicks my foot off the gas pedal and we come to a stop just as the security guard from the hotel runs out with his gun drawn screaming at us asking if we are trying to get ourselves arrested. We manage to talk ourselves out of that and drive back over to Whattaburger. The best part? We pull back into the drive through expecting to have to re-order, but as we pull up to the window, they hand our order out to us all ready—they saw the whole thing and were waiting for us!

Edited by anonymousguest, 29 September 2007 - 12:20 AM.

[Cetkat]

but as we pull up to the window, they hand our order out to us all ready—they saw the whole thing and were waiting for us!

LMAO!! Poor rent-a-cop. I applaud actually going back to the drive-thru.

[jen5276]

Oh God, I just practically peed myself reading through these threads. We should all get together and have some fun! LOL

I got really plastered this past Friday. We went out for drinks after work and I work with such fun people, we always end up having a great time. Of course, I don't remember much of the night, but I know I had fun!!!