[confused]

This isn't something I've seen on this site. But, on other sites I've been to people have posted goodbye notes with a description of how they are planning to commit suicide. I've seen 2 this week. Like, "I have so many pills here and I'm going to swallow them and hope I don't wake up. Just wanted to say goodbye". The people I'm talking about are fine, but they scared the hell out of me. I felt helpless and didn't want that responsibility. I haven't seen anything like that here. Are posts like that removed?

This post has been edited by confused: 03 April 2008 - 11:14 AM

[AirMarshall]

We really haven't had too much of that. (knock on wood). Generally I think our members are a pretty mature group that is serious about seeking help and not creating dramatics.

However, as I write, we have had several members who were in extremis during the past few months and posted the fact, but no in an attention seeking way. I don't like being manipulated, and resent people who try to blackmail me with threats of hurting themselves. It IS emotionally distressing. Nonetheless, many members have devoted a lot of effort trying to provide support and guidance to others who were suicidal.



a.m.

This post has been edited by AirMarshall: 03 April 2008 - 12:19 AM

[confused]

AirMarshall, on Apr 2 2008, 10:17 PM, said:

However, as I write, we have had several members who were in extremis during the past few months and posted the fact, but no in an attention seeking way.


a.m.

Thanks AM. Just to clarify, I don't mean any situations here. I'm glad it doesn't happen here.

I didn't know what to do.

I guess it triggered me.

This post has been edited by confused: 03 April 2008 - 03:33 AM

[confused]

confused, on Apr 2 2008, 10:26 PM, said:

I guess it triggered me.

Well, I got up the nerve to post about it on one of the sites. I didn't want to be disrespctful or make anyone feel worse, but I go there for support. Hopefully, talking about it will give me some closure.

[null0trooper]

We do discourage the sort of post that tells the readers exactly how to kill themselves, because someone will come along afterward and may decide to try it out.

[confused]

null0trooper, on Apr 3 2008, 09:26 AM, said:

We do discourage the sort of post that tells the readers exactly how to kill themselves, because someone will come along afterward and may decide to try it out.

Thanks null0. that's good to know.

[dangergirl]

Hey Confused...it does happen here...a lot of people talk about it...I don't know if it shows up on the boards or the blogs, but it sure does go on...perhaps you've been lucky enough not to see those desparate cries.

I know what you mean about feeling helpless...I care a lot about the friends I've made here...you know, it may seem like an anonymous name on a screen, but for me, it's a real person with real feelings, unless they prove otherwise (and a few people have, if you were wondering). Yeah, it's possible that someone posting here may be seeking attention or may be playing on people's sympathies...but how will you ever know that? I don't, and if someone reaches out to me, I'll do what I can to help.

I come here because it's a safe environment and it's nice to know that other people understand and care about me - in a way that may not be overly personal, but in a sympathetic way (and sometimes, it is very personal, with a select group of "friends" - I use quotes, not to diminish the significance of my friends but to magnify that in the absence of actual interpersponal connectedness).

I'm not a religious person, but I certainly believe that you should do unto others...and well, I imagine you know the rest...and well, I think you've just been really lucky that you haven't experienced the "good-bye note" here, but I need to ask...

...are you asking for advice when that happens on other sites? It's a pretty scary experience...especially when you're having problems of your own (sometimes, it feels like, omg, I'm falling apart, and I really don't know how to help this person, but I know they need it and they are worse off than me right now, but I just don't know WHAT to do, but I feel like I should do SOMEthing...but what, I have no idea, etc). I think you know what I'm saying (or at least I hope you do...lol)...

anyway...feel like I'm blathering...understand the stress, *I think*...wondering if you're asking for advice or just some understanding. Like AM said, people don't kid around about that sort of stuff here (which makes it that much more scary, imo).

I hope you're doing ok...you've been pretty stressed lately, and coming to terms with you're own stuff...sounds like you're doing what I do...taking on other people's stuff...I haven't figured out if that's a way to avoid my own stuff or a way to work through my own stuff...or maybe a way to make me feel better. Either way, hugs to you....cause I feel like I'm rambling now .

[confused]

dangergirl, on Apr 6 2008, 06:27 PM, said:

...are you asking for advice when that happens on other sites? It's a pretty scary experience...especially when you're having problems of your own (sometimes, it feels like, omg, I'm falling apart, and I really don't know how to help this person, but I know they need it and they are worse off than me right now, but I just don't know WHAT to do, but I feel like I should do SOMEthing...but what, I have no idea, etc). I think you know what I'm saying (or at least I hope you do...lol)...

That's exactly how I felt. I guess I wasn't sure what to do when things like that trigger you. By the next day I knew they were fine, but I was a wreck. After I posted about it there, some people told me they felt the same way and it made me feel better.

[dangergirl]

confused, on Apr 6 2008, 08:43 PM, said:

That's exactly how I felt. I guess I wasn't sure what to do when things like that trigger you. By the next day I knew they were fine, but I was a wreck. After I posted about it there, some people told me they felt the same way and it made me feel better.

It's up to you and it can be a double-edged sword...but sometimes, just sending someone a message and telling them that you hear them, you feel them and you are hurting for them is all it takes to make someone feel cared about...and perhaps I'm naive, but sometimes, it might make the difference between someone just talking about something or actually doing something...it doesn't hurt to type a few words to let the other person know that you are listening. (I'm not lecturing you or telling you what to do .... or anyone else, for that matter...it's just how *I* feel and what *I* do)...anyway, it makes me feel really good when people send me messages and say, "hey, it sounds like you're having a hard time and I acknowledge that"...if they say nothing more than that, it still feels really good and helps take some of the pain away.

The funny thing about life is that we always feel so alone and isolated but if we stop to look around, we realize that we're not so different than the man standing next to us.