[basketcase]

hi i am new here, and atm feel like my head will pop open, aggitated frustrated with everyone round me, irritable, i hate this feeling it scares me shittless, what is it? I have long standing issues with anxiety attacks, agora, bit of PTSd, only thing i take is my pain med, and bit of valium at times. Lately though i bene having big freak outs, like i lost my keys last night to car and totally starting throwing things around to find them, i feel way of kilter like, out of control feeling.I took more valium but it seems to make me worse, i just want to go to sleep for a year and wake up in some foreign land, thanks for the Vent i duno what to do anymore, the one thing i enjoyed the most sleep is now also interupted too!!!!, i feel ike im slipping into the abyss , you know that feeling when you just want to get abottle drink it all and pass out for peace. I do have Klonopin but i havnt used it , because i fear it will be teh same as valium makes me feel when i use it

This post has been edited by basketcase: 22 March 2009 - 11:22 PM

[dianthus]

it sounds like you have an underlying mod episode or something else going on that probably isn't adequately addressed with just valium. do you have a pdoc or a therapist?

[basketcase]

susanb, on Mar 23 2009, 03:07 PM, said:

it sounds like you have an underlying mod episode or something else going on that probably isn't adequately addressed with just valium. do you have a pdoc or a therapist?

Hi Susan thanks whats a mod episode like mood?, my though'ts too i dont have a pdoc or any good doc, my doc generally writes out my script in 10min says cya next time, local GP. I wish something would address it though some med, i wish valium worked for me like others, instead it feels like im on speed!!! i feel so teary and like life is not generally worth all the hassle its to hard, r/ships with people , i get extremely agora and when i leave the house i spin out freak out, come home exhausted from it pass out, and that's my life or has been for years. I am so fed up of living an existance if that makes sense. Then my friend goes online last night on yahoo are you over having your hissy fit? well i felt like i was loosing the plot far from a hissy fit i almost drove to the ER, before i hurt myself seriously. Today i an inch better but not alot, maybe tomoro will be better huh? "shrugs".

ps im new here, was just browsing for support.

This post has been edited by basketcase: 23 March 2009 - 02:45 AM

[dianthus]

Welcome! You'll be able to find a lot of good support and information here.

I did mean mood episode. My writing is shit lately.

I think it's time for you to see a psychiatrist. What you have going on is obviously more than the GP can handle. There are a lot of options out there for you, and getting a psychiatrist is the first step in getting better so you can lead a productive life that's more than just surviving.

[basketcase]

basketcase, on Mar 23 2009, 06:11 PM, said:

susanb, on Mar 23 2009, 03:07 PM, said:

it sounds like you have an underlying mod episode or something else going on that probably isn't adequately addressed with just valium. do you have a pdoc or a therapist?

Hi Susan thanks whats a mod episode like mood?, my though'ts too i dont have a pdoc or any good doc, my doc generally writes out my script in 10min says cya next time, local GP. I wish something would address it though some med, i wish valium worked for me like others, instead it feels like im on speed!!! i feel so teary and like life is not generally worth all the hassle its to hard, r/ships with people , i get extremely agora and when i leave the house i spin out freak out, come home exhausted from it pass out, and that's my life or has been for years. I am so fed up of living an existance if that makes sense. Then my friend goes online last night on yahoo are you over having your hissy fit? well i felt like i was loosing the plot far from a hissy fit i almost drove to the ER, before i hurt myself seriously. Today i an inch better but not alot, maybe tomoro will be better huh? "shrugs".

ps im new here, was just browsing for support.

i know my GP is useless no offence, phsyciatrists scare me so did your comment i duno why I guess im afraid i might find out im a bad person i duno!!!!!!!or they will lock me u, its that fear again. When ever something goes bad or is to hard, i run to the GP looking for increases in meds or answers and each time i get the increase( which does help for a while ) or standard stare it send me nuts, so your right he doesn't knwo what to do with me. I get so angry that people can be left without treatment like this and the GP doesnt state the obvious like w ould you like a referal to a psych??????? hello!!!!!!!!

This post has been edited by basketcase: 25 March 2009 - 06:25 PM

[bluelikejazz]

I was scared of seeing a psychiatrist too. There's a lot of stigma attached, and it makes you really face up to the fact that there is something going on.

Saying that, I think a pdoc is less likely of anybody to attribute mental illness to a character flaw. They won't admit you to hospital involuntarily unless they have very good reasons to think you will hurt yourself or somebody else. It helped me to google "suicide assessment" to see the sort of things they use to determine that.

Pdocs have much more training in psych medications, and it really does make sense to go and see one. I'm really glad I did it. Ask for a referral, and do it soon because it can take a while to get into one.

[tryp]

Hey BC,

I agree with everyone else who has posted that it would be a really good idea for you to see a psychiatrist.

I know it can be scary to do that, and I think I would even find it scary to ask for a referral, but if your GP has been treating you for psych issues, he or she already knows about them, so it shouldn't be much worse to ask for a psych referral.

Psychiatrists are really not that scary. In fact, they're a lot like GPs, with the added bonus that they have real chairs (and not stupid paper-covered examining tables) and they don't make you take your clothes off or touch you.

If you go see a psychiatrist, it will be much the same as going to see your GP for a psych problem. The pdoc will just listen to you tell them why you came, ask you some questions, and then give you some meds. They're not going to lock you up just for being a little crazy around the edges - if they locked up all the crazy people, they'd have no patients left! Unless you're in serious danger of harming yourself or someone else, they won't do anything like that. And afterwards, you'll probably start to feel better. Having a proper diagnosis and the right meds can mean the difference between misery and recovery, and most GPs just aren't equipped to deal with anything very complicated.

Cheers,
Tryp

P.S. About the Valium - drugs of that type make me worse as well, which is something I just found out recently. Luckily, there are lots of other options, and a good pdoc will know about them and hopefully be able to find better ones for you.

[gizmo]

If you are afraid of the psychiatrist, there are several things I can tell you from first hand experience that may help you.

A pdoc will rarely, if ever, involuntarily commit. Threatening to harm yourself, in detail, is almost par for the course. I have a tendancy to self-injure when depressed, and while one of my pdocs did *suggest* a hospital stay, at no time was I ever forced into a hospitalization by a pdoc. You might ask, "Did she go when suggested?" The answer was, no. I've had five pdocs, and through wild manias and deep depressions, not one has forced me to go to the hospital.

If you feel there is a stigma about asking the GP for a referral, then don't. Most insurance companies have a way for you to get a referral to a pdoc without the traditional methods. The phone number to the mental health portion of your health insurance company is likely on the back of your insurance card, or on your insurance company's website. Or you can call your ins. co directly and ask them how to see a pdoc. They aren't going to make any notes in your electronic file that you called (used to be a big fear of mine).

Most pdocs have heard it all. Really. I told my pdoc some weird-ass delusions I was having involving my trash, my computer, helicopters, and the FBI. And he just sat there and listened. Didn't tell me I was full of it, didn't tell me it was a delusion, didn't try to talk me out of it. He just listened. And that was really the best thing anyone could have done. You will be able to tell a pdoc anything, and they will not judge you. I promise.

Once the first-line medications don't work, your GP is really out of his league and it's time to call in a specialist who knows their meds. If you broke your hip, wouldn't you want an orthopedic doctor to repair it? To put the pins in place? Or would you want a GP scrubbing up? Well, your mind is just as fine-tuned and important, and these medications are just as complex as that broken hip. You wouldn't feel a stigma about going to an orthopedic doctor, would you? Then don't feel a stigma about going to a head doctor.

[Artemisia]

The two benzos I've tried make me feel like crap after, too. I definitely think you should see a specialist.

[FireBird]

I'm sorry to give you bad news but my pdoc is EVIL! When I tell him my "delusions" which are not delusions sometimes he thinks they are so bizarre that he calls them "crazy thoughts" and always says that I am psychotic, never neurotic. I guess I've been psychotic for 3 years then. And again when I was 13 (different psychiatrist though and different cause). He's on the Dark Side of the Force. At least my psychologist is on the Good Side of the Force because she thinks that my "psychotic" symptoms can result from being autistic rather than schizophrenic. My pdoc, however, says its definitely schizoaffective disorder without a doubt.