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Why do i hate my dad so much?


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#1 h3llo

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Posted 30 March 2009 - 09:00 PM

My dad is the only person i have to talk myself out of truly hating. Ever since i was born, i have disliked, hated or felt uncomfortable around him, and i got nothing but flak from my family and friends. I believe he has borderline personality disorder, after years of studying psychology and people.

For one thing, he in my mind, is very obviously weak. He demands attention and respect at every moment. I have to say hi to him when he comes home, or he'll sneak through the house and say "hi?" in a "you don't care do you?!" tone. Everything, usually, comes down to his feelings. during conversation he tries to appeal to both sides, by joking. his jokes are terrible, and i feel nothing when i hear them. whenever i talk to him there's a glint in his eyes that suggest he's trying extremely hard to get me to like him. I don't understand why he needs constant approval. The more he tries, the more my inner self gets angered at his, again very obvious weakness. he's so in the moment, or something, and he always seems to change depending on who he's with. When he's not with anyone i think he is hyper focused on the next goal.

He told me stories and stories of his crappy childhood. He would speak of these experiences like they were soap operas or intense dramas. he would stand out his window and wait while his dad was out playingpool. he passive agressively through a basketball at a bully and copped a terrible one liner then ran away. his girlfriend pulled him throughthe school while he probably laughed and copped jokes. He is extremely right winged and very judgemental of others. his friends seem unbelievably platanoic and superficial, are usually band members (he's in a band). Even with his friends he always just...seems like he's acting. its hard to describe, but it's as if what he's thinking and what he's doing are two seperate entities. like...he just wants to please the people he's with, he's always cracking his cheasy jokes. Another thing i have had to come to grips with is his judging me for being shy as a kid. he'd tell me things like "get off that nintendo! where are your friends huh?!" or "go outside" or "get a life!" these things hurt my feelings, and it angered me how rigid and stupid he appeared. one big paradox, a hypocrite. so i started to hate making friends, the social process...and developed severe social anxiety. (thanks dad! "your welcome, son!")

I just don't understand why i hate my dad so much. Sure, he's very boring. He's a welcome mat, he's extremely sensitive to the point of just ridiculosness, he does great things, like bring home taco bell, go to work and everything, but he just seems DISTANT. like he can't even read body language, much less what im feeling. he tries to pal around with me but if i don't respond he immediatly gets glum. i wonder if he even has sex with my mom? (ew....he does. *shudder)

Anyone seens American Psycho? Where patric bateman starts talking about CDs? thats like how my dad seems all the time. robotic, lifeless, pleasing. His mom had a fucked up childhood too, and so he talks frequently about how bad his was, and many times when i was young, complained he's "trying his best" or that "he could just leave". but mostly..."why don't you respect me?!" he gets so angry he looks scary, like his whole future depends on my respect of opinion of him, which is a paradox.

is it okay to hate your dad? from my years of disliking him i've become cold and fake towards other people. (btw im 19)
see ya


#2 Maroonzed

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Posted 16 April 2009 - 07:03 PM

is it okay to hate your dad? from my years of disliking him i've become cold and fake towards other people. (btw im 19)
[/quote]

Sure it is okay to dislike your dad - you sound like very different people. Why does it bother you? Just out of interest, if a complete stranger told you the same story would you feel any empathy towards the stranger more so than your dad?

Your dad is who he is - he might be able to change at the margins - but there probably won't be any magic in it and he won't become a man that you would have preferred to become your Dad. All of the frustration aside, do you think he has done a better of parenting you then the start that he had?

Could it be that at 19 you feel cramped by his presence and want to get on with your life and have your own space?

Maybe distance and space will help you feel less encumbered by feeling that you are living with someone who is still struggling with himself?
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#3 h3llo

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Posted 08 May 2009 - 07:26 PM

Sure it is okay to dislike your dad - you sound like very different people. Why does it bother you? Just out of interest, if a complete stranger told you the same story would you feel any empathy towards the stranger more so than your dad?

Your dad is who he is - he might be able to change at the margins - but there probably won't be any magic in it and he won't become a man that you would have preferred to become your Dad. All of the frustration aside, do you think he has done a better of parenting you then the start that he had?

Could it be that at 19 you feel cramped by his presence and want to get on with your life and have your own space?

Maybe distance and space will help you feel less encumbered by feeling that you are living with someone who is still struggling with himself?
[/quote]


actually its not really a stereotypical "young adult and dad, butting heads" thing. my dad is, and has, for all my life, never respected my personal limits or space, gets angry at the most outrageous things, has no boundaries for certain things (like me and my brother can complain to him, and we get no reaction so sometimes we'll joke with him or taunt him and get nothing, but then later he'll take it out on us) and if i want a simple explanation for why he does things a certain way, he'll get this dark look in his eyes, as if ive gone too far wanting a rational explanation for his eccentric behavior. one moment, he thinks im awesome, usually its something stupid like agreeing with something he says, or taking my truck to the house so he can help fix it. then if i ask him why he said something or did something he'll get really pissed and won't look at me when he talks, and say "shut up" but won't look at me, then look like he'll kill me, then look really kind. it goes a LOT more than just what you guys think. my dad is unpredictable, scary, uncaring then obsessively caring, very black and white. he's fucked up how i try to make friends, because one moment i'm doing everything right then the next i'm lazy and "wheres your friends son?" (even though 95% of the time he is alone)
he's a paradox, and theres something very twisted and scary about how he acts so charming around everyone else but is fucking jeckyl and hyde behind closed doors. its FUCKED UP. just goes to show you your parents don't need to be druggies or alcohalics to be fucked up.
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#4 reddog

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Posted 09 May 2009 - 08:27 PM

perhaps he's a guttersnipe?
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#5 h3llo

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Posted 10 May 2009 - 04:24 PM

what is that?
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#6 Guest_isabel_*

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 01:51 PM

my dad is almost the same way and it really bothers me i just can't be around him my parents are divorced and he is always talking about it sometimes starts crying which is ridicules and he always wants-respect and lectures me about how i speaks to people like "you need more empathy" "look me in he eye when u talk" and it is just hard i have never once ad a conversation with him that didn't involve a lecture about my future or and uncomfortable topic like drugs/sex/my mom and dads relationship. compared to some of my friends dads he is a good dad he isn't abusive never really gets that mad and he wants to spend time with me. but i just feel very distant from him like i don't even want to see him and i never miss him and when ever i talk to him i just feel very aggravated. i feel bad but i think i hate my dad
o and he always is talking about his childhood too and on my case about how shy i am but he just doesn't get it.
and he always gives unasked for advises.

#7 Guest_Chris_*

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Posted 04 October 2009 - 08:23 AM

Hey you guys, i'm hating my dad aswell. I don't want to hate him, him and i sometimes actually have good conversations with him, since we're both very talkative people who easily get into conversations with others/get friends etc. But he's such a dominating, manipulating downright pissed off maniac sometimes i just can't help but return the favor. Both he and i got a real temper, but he's always the one triggering the bomb. I just got confirmed ADHD, aswell as my brother who about a year ago got ADD. I just turned 18 and my parents were told at the doctor that they should try to help me out remembering my medicine etc. Anyways, some days ago we we're on our way home from the doctor in our car and we were talking about what we should do better, i should try to remember to clean up, take the dishes and things like that more often, aswell as getting a better sleep rhytme for myself, since these are the things people with ADHD should start out handling when starting up on ADHD medicine. Getting a easy routine. My mom should try not to totally freak out when asked a question while doing something else, sometimes she freaks out if you just ask when dad gets home, she get really loud noised and tempered and yea, freaks out and yells at you. And my dad who has a terrible anger problem sometimes should try not to be so angry when he comes home from work, and stop judging me aswell in a discussion where its only my brother being the loud mouth. The reason he actually also judges me is because he thinks my brother gets too much notice on his behavior, since he behaves terrible and generally aren't really feeling good himself. So he wants to "soften" it up by letting me get some of the blame, which i think is totally unfair and not right! My dad has a very dominating and provoking way of being, he always lectures you, he acts as if my sickness is just a no problem thing, like i'm just making it all up even though the doc told us i got ADHD. He demands respect all the time, and he NEVER EVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER admits he was wrong or sorry, I'VE NEVER seen/hear him do that, and that really pisses me off because he is so self righteous, everything he does and say are true and right, but we are never right in anything he doesn't agree in!
Yesterday we we're eating before going to the cinema, and my brother started talking about his abilities in Karate Self Defence (He's been training for one year) and have gotten one of the first belts now (green i think). So he's talking about his abilities and what he would do if a gang of punks downtown would try and ambush him, he always kicks their ass in his imaginations (of course) and not that its an evil doing showing off as your a big mean motherfucker its pretty hillarious since i always thinks it seems so unreal. (My brother is very skinny and doesnt have too many muscles, he doesnt eat much and i generally feel bad for him even though hes got the worst attitude), im not kidding when telling these things, im true to god honest, i myself have a terrible temper as my dad so im no angel.
Anyways we're talking about that and i usually can't help but say my opinion on it that i doubt he'll kick three guys ass just like that, but i don't say that much really, since everytime i do he gets pissed off, and my parents tell me to shut my trap. So i hold back and then all of a sudden my dad can't take anymore, he raises from the table with his plate and goes off into the kitchen. On the way he just throws one of his annoying remarks back, "You two really know what your talking about" something like that with his annoyance attitude all over it, i'm just thinking "What the hell?" what did i do, at that moment i was just eating my food listening on to my brother. I then ask why did he also say that to me and he not just my brother, he just responds in a weak "your talking too". What the hell? That makes no sense, i then said out loud that i'm tired of him judging both me and my brother in a argument only my brother is on about. I told him he's and "old idiot" and he says yeah and your a BIG idiot. He then walks out (he usually do that all of a sudden when theres not a totally comfort mood at the table) and put his plate at the kitchen sink. Then my brother talks on alittle bit, and my mom just hangs her head downwards with closed eyes thinking "here we go again", she got that look on her face atleast.
My dad reenters the room sits down on his chair, then all of a sudden stomps both his hands onto the table, leans forwards looking at me, and then screaming/yelling the BIGGEST yell i've ever heard, this is nothing like those angry Hollywood dads who yells really loud, this is louder, it just stuns everybody in the room. I sit just looking at him for about 2 seconds just because of the suprise, then all of a sudden i return the favor, i yell just as loud as he did, and he yells back. Until i go around the table over to him, starts pushing him, then grabbing him yelling "WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? WHAT DID I DO?" I'm totally up and running and so is my dad, so my mom begs him to leave the room and then wants to talk to me. We sit down for a while and i decide i won't go to the movies anyways, since i'm not feeling too well and i'd rather have the rest of the family enjoy the movie instead of having me and my dad fight on the way.

I just hate him, im not saying im an Angel, but he's got the worst behavior, he's not cursing much but everything he says is with a dagger attached to it, he always says what he says in a hurting way and has such a terrible glow around him usually. I just hate him so badly, he's such an asshole, i usually never holds a grudge, and always wanna make up/friends again. But i just can't take my dad, hes always threating/telling me to get out of the house, i mean i don't wanna sound like an spoiled rat, but sending a newly confirmed sick child out to take care of himself with ADHD is bound to end as a criminal, or a suicidal person. If you don't believe you should check out what ADHD is all about, without medicine its not a joke, it fucks peoples lives up.
I'm just annoyed how he just doesn't care a thing of what he says, if i would go up now and apology for being so upset i would hope for a "I'm sorry too son for yelling at you wihtout reason", but he wouldn't. He'd just say, "thats good" or "Yeah, sometimes you are so unfair in your actions" or something like that. So no way, i'd like to see HIM apologise first, and then i'd gladly admit i was a wrong too in my anger, but thats as certain as 125% that aint gonna happen in this life time.
He always say, im too old to change. Thats the lamest excuse ever, hes been using that since we we're kids and keeps doing it.
Thanks for the food, the bed, and the lay of the rain, but theres no thanks for your behaviour. I Hate him...

(P.S He also like telling us how spoiled we are, i just don't get it, we are no where more spoiled than any other kids i know, my mom bought me some clothes recently because i had been wandering around around over a half year in the same outfit ( i had a big depression for some years on top of the ADHD apparently). That's the only thing i've gotten for over two years. I don't see what is so spoiled about it, the medicine they pay is covered by the govermnets funds so they aren't spending money everywhere, except for food, though they keep telling us and blaming us.) My mom can be cruel sometimes, but she's alright at the end, my dad isn't.

Hope you understand what i wrote up there ;)

#8 olga

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Posted 04 October 2009 - 08:32 AM

Chris, you will get many more responses if you do two things:

1) Join Crazyboards. We are a community and do our best to help our members. Guests, not so much.

2) Use the Edit function and go back and break up your post into shorter paragraphs. Many of us cannot read unbroken blocks of type such as the ones you have posted.

Good luck
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“Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love. Like all of life's important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.”
― Fred Rogers


#9 r.mcmurphy

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Posted 04 October 2009 - 01:46 PM

met my shitheel pops a couple of times when i was an adult. neither of us was impressed. neurotic, rattled mother hated the guy with a passion not constant with the three month marriage.
too much mental monkeyshines in remaining family to type further.
plenty meds, drugs and mental troubles in the past 40 years. no end in sight for depression.

eat a fish!

#10 Guest_BAKABOY_*

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Posted 21 October 2010 - 02:10 AM

i dont know either. my dad recently got in a fight with me but he grounds me and stuf but i dont ive him any satisfaction i jst walk a way like i dont care because he is a mother frickin .......

#11 Kodos

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Posted 21 October 2010 - 02:39 AM

You'll find him a lot more intelligent, stronger, and responsible in about 10 years.



In the meantime, he has permission to be "weak".



He gets up in the morning, goes to work, provides for his family, and tries very hard to have a relationship with his son. He's a fucking hero.

#12 0detta

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Posted 21 October 2010 - 06:45 AM

I'm getting the impression that the dad-haters here are in the 15-22 age range.

To the original poster: Your dad sounds human. A man with faults, surely, but a man who is also trying to reach his very distant son who so obviously can't stand him. You think he can't feel that?

I don't see any evidence of abuse. No mention of hitting, major mind control, or inappropriate contact/acts. I could get quite explicit, but don't want the trigger the people who DO have dads that do/did that stuff. You should count yourself lucky, instead of whining like a baby about his relatively minor imperfections.

Of course, after reading about all the reasons why you hate him, I could write a book about all the ways I see that your dad loves you. But you're never going to understand it right now, because you haven't lived enough to have the wisdom to understand and appreciate him. That part is actually normal development for someone your age.

Instead of blaming your dad - hating him because he's "boring" (good grief, do you even know how shallow that reads?) - try focusing on growing up, developing independence and gaining that wisdom. Only then will you be able to appreciate who he is, and be able to accept him and love him even though he's not like you.


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#13 Outrider

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Posted 21 October 2010 - 08:25 AM


Instead of blaming your dad - hating him because he's "boring" (good grief, do you even know how shallow that reads?) - try focusing on growing up, developing independence and gaining that wisdom. Only then will you be able to appreciate who he is, and be able to accept him and love him even though he's not like you.



OOH, OOH, this is a thread I can contribute to, I hate my Dad and I'm 31! So you can either accept that it is possible to still hate your Dad at my age or that I'm super immature. It's also fair to state upfront that my Dad has never been physically abusive except the one time he hit me after I bit him when I was teething as a toddler, which I don't remember and Mom kinda seemed to think he was justified. Lets see, where to start? There's also the difference between dislike and hate. I dislike that my parents both came from families where expressing negative feelings in fights was just the way it is and no holds are barred. She is Italian and Irish, he is full blood Polish, the juxtaposition is like nuclear fission. They are just so different. So it was really hard for me to figure out I had an illness. I thought I was just passionate and wanting to kill myself at age 11 was normal because I was in a horrible place. I hate that my Dad tenses up when I hug him. It's like public displays of affection are painful or un manly to him or something. It's like he's giving me the U.S. Army mark 1 mod 0 hug he learned to give other men from his Dad. I really hate that the wonderful, safe place I had when I was five or so went away because I was being tortured by sadistic kids in Catholic school and my Mom nearly decided she wanted a divorce, so she left and came back and I lost all trust in her. Then I got to watch them fight as they got older and my sister came along and I came to the conclusion that I had to intervene in their fights because I couldn't stand the idea of them divorcing now that my sister was there. That wasn't so much fun. The highlight of that whole fucked up process was when I took away the keys from my Mom after she had blown out a tire from steering into the curb near the National Capitol building where we went every year to see the Christmas tree, the only real family tradition we had. She was driving because my Dad had too much to drink and she had had less but not enough for me to trust her. So after we fixed the tire (me helping her because she would have fought with my Dad) I informed her either she lets me drive or I take the Metro home to our place at 10 at night. She did the right thing and I got us home using my brand new learner's permit. I think I was 16?

Anyway, I can go on and on and 0detta is right about getting wisdom and insight, but man, there are a few things I can tell you. Before I got divorced, for the six years I was married to a wonderful amazing angel who could be cruel and couldn't handle my illness in my twenties I was finally someone's kid. Not their burden or their retard son. My mother and father in law had an amazing family and someday I'm going to make one like theirs where my kids get what they need to be safe and happy and comfortable, where any time someone needs a hug they get one and I don't care if my son or daughter is forty years old, and where my spouse and I do not ever fight in front of our children. And I don't lose my shit just because some guy cuts me off in traffic. I hate that about my Dad, though now that he is sixty, he's mellowed out a bit.
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#14 Guest_JENNY_*

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Posted 10 December 2010 - 02:52 PM

My dad is the only person i have to talk myself out of truly hating. Ever since i was born, i have disliked, hated or felt uncomfortable around him, and i got nothing but flak from my family and friends. I believe he has borderline personality disorder, after years of studying psychology and people.

For one thing, he in my mind, is very obviously weak. He demands attention and respect at every moment. I have to say hi to him when he comes home, or he'll sneak through the house and say "hi?" in a "you don't care do you?!" tone. Everything, usually, comes down to his feelings. during conversation he tries to appeal to both sides, by joking. his jokes are terrible, and i feel nothing when i hear them. whenever i talk to him there's a glint in his eyes that suggest he's trying extremely hard to get me to like him. I don't understand why he needs constant approval. The more he tries, the more my inner self gets angered at his, again very obvious weakness. he's so in the moment, or something, and he always seems to change depending on who he's with. When he's not with anyone i think he is hyper focused on the next goal.

He told me stories and stories of his crappy childhood. He would speak of these experiences like they were soap operas or intense dramas. he would stand out his window and wait while his dad was out playingpool. he passive agressively through a basketball at a bully and copped a terrible one liner then ran away. his girlfriend pulled him throughthe school while he probably laughed and copped jokes. He is extremely right winged and very judgemental of others. his friends seem unbelievably platanoic and superficial, are usually band members (he's in a band). Even with his friends he always just...seems like he's acting. its hard to describe, but it's as if what he's thinking and what he's doing are two seperate entities. like...he just wants to please the people he's with, he's always cracking his cheasy jokes. Another thing i have had to come to grips with is his judging me for being shy as a kid. he'd tell me things like "get off that nintendo! where are your friends huh?!" or "go outside" or "get a life!" these things hurt my feelings, and it angered me how rigid and stupid he appeared. one big paradox, a hypocrite. so i started to hate making friends, the social process...and developed severe social anxiety. (thanks dad! "your welcome, son!")

I just don't understand why i hate my dad so much. Sure, he's very boring. He's a welcome mat, he's extremely sensitive to the point of just ridiculosness, he does great things, like bring home taco bell, go to work and everything, but he just seems DISTANT. like he can't even read body language, much less what im feeling. he tries to pal around with me but if i don't respond he immediatly gets glum. i wonder if he even has sex with my mom? (ew....he does. *shudder)

Anyone seens American Psycho? Where patric bateman starts talking about CDs? thats like how my dad seems all the time. robotic, lifeless, pleasing. His mom had a fucked up childhood too, and so he talks frequently about how bad his was, and many times when i was young, complained he's "trying his best" or that "he could just leave". but mostly..."why don't you respect me?!" he gets so angry he looks scary, like his whole future depends on my respect of opinion of him, which is a paradox.

is it okay to hate your dad? from my years of disliking him i've become cold and fake towards other people. (btw im 19)



#15 Guest_lena_*

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Posted 10 December 2010 - 03:06 PM

I know how you feel, my dad is worse than yours. At least your dad has friends and he can spend time with them and away from you. My dad stays home all day, doesn't have a job. He waits for me to get home from work and give him all the money. He is a lair, selfish, rude, abusive, hypocrite, and scary. I learned to ignore him when I come back home from work because I don't want to see his face. He talks crap about me and my siblings all the time even to people we don't know. He calls us disrespectful kids and thinks that we should kiss his hands and feet for bringing us to this life. I know one day I will breakout in his face because I can't take it anymore. I wished so many times that if he dies, our life would be much better. He likes to create hate among the family members, he doesn't get along with anyone. He doesn't have one single friend because sooner or later his friends will get mad at him for cursing them all the time. My dad has only do one thing and that is nag and nags and nags all day long, bitch and complain. He blames us for everything that happens to him, and treats us as his maids. I don't know what to say to you because I need some advice myself. I don't know what have I done to deserve a father like him. sometimes I wish I were dead. I am currently suffering from major depression and saw a psychologist but my dad doesn't know that because if he does he will blame me for that too.

#16 Laume

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Posted 10 December 2010 - 10:41 PM

Deleted my judgemental post.
I think I am on my way to a mixed state, and I get a little nasty.
Whoops


Edited by Laume, 11 December 2010 - 12:03 AM.

I don't like to consider myself mentally ill, I prefer the term mentally interesting.


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past meds: Citalopram (meh), Effexor (meh), Remeron (made me VERY ANGRY and agitated and want to cut myself), Risperidone (who needs to have clear vision ?), Paxil (goodbye you evil substance) Lithium 900 mg (levels dropped, couldn't up dose without side-effects so it is goodbye old helpful friend), restoril - did nothing, Trazodone (something had to go to try Welburtin, so its bye bye for now zombie med

#17 Stickler

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Posted 12 December 2010 - 05:03 PM

@ Lena: if you're under 18, report his ass to CPS or whatever's your local child protective service for hitting you, and still look for another place to live. If you're over 18, and he still hits you, maybe a battered women's shelter would take you in? and that's if you can't just go find a friend who needs someone to pay half the bills.

You should not have to put up with him, alright?
He's making your depression worse, and you shouldn't be around him.

If he hits you, he should be in jail, as far as I'm concerned. I'm halfway between saying it might be okay for some parents sometime, to gently swat toddlers on the butt when they're really acting up and deciding no parent should ever hit their child...and at this point, you're damn near a grownup?

Putting the fun back in dysfunctional, every damn day. :cool: 






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