[gizmo]

Late last week, I had one of these moments that was an accumulation of my mental mess and outside events happening, and I decided that I needed to, immediately, quit my xanax cold turkey. I was taking 2 mg at night to sleep.

Let me explain. My father, who is very ill, is very, very addicted to his 8mg a day of xanax. He was in the hospital last week, and they cut his xanax in half. He had a complete rage anxiety meltdown over it. That was motivating factor #1. Then, I started obsessing over the fact that I can't sleep unless I have the 2 mg of xanax at night, and I don't like to be that dependant on an anti-anxiety med for sleep - especially since I haven't needed the xanax for anxiety in more than 2 weeks. As the child of a recovering drug addict, I have deepset fears of meds "I don't need" that might "control me."

Sigh. Why can't I just take pills with wild abandon and never feel guilt or regret or fear like everyone else?

So it's been four days of headaches and nausea and lethargy and the total inability to get to sleep and stay asleep. I don't want to start taking some now and taper down, because I've already got four days of crap down, I don't want to start over again. I can't imagine this will last much longer, but my luck, it will. The last time I went off xanax, it was cold turkey in the phospital two years ago, and I remember it took about 10 days to feel better.

So I don't know what I expect everyone to say, other than I'm being stupid about quitting. I don't know why I feel so strongly about needing to do this now, I just do. I guess, for the first time in a long time, I'm scared of a medicine.

[recoverymouse]

gizmo, on May 26 2009, 09:19 PM, said:

Late last week, I had one of these moments that was an accumulation of my mental mess and outside events happening, and I decided that I needed to, immediately, quit my xanax cold turkey. I was taking 2 mg at night to sleep.

Let me explain. My father, who is very ill, is very, very addicted to his 8mg a day of xanax. He was in the hospital last week, and they cut his xanax in half. He had a complete rage anxiety meltdown over it. That was motivating factor #1. Then, I started obsessing over the fact that I can't sleep unless I have the 2 mg of xanax at night, and I don't like to be that dependant on an anti-anxiety med for sleep - especially since I haven't needed the xanax for anxiety in more than 2 weeks. As the child of a recovering drug addict, I have deepset fears of meds "I don't need" that might "control me."

Sigh. Why can't I just take pills with wild abandon and never feel guilt or regret or fear like everyone else?

So it's been four days of headaches and nausea and lethargy and the total inability to get to sleep and stay asleep. I don't want to start taking some now and taper down, because I've already got four days of crap down, I don't want to start over again. I can't imagine this will last much longer, but my luck, it will. The last time I went off xanax, it was cold turkey in the phospital two years ago, and I remember it took about 10 days to feel better.

So I don't know what I expect everyone to say, other than I'm being stupid about quitting. I don't know why I feel so strongly about needing to do this now, I just do. I guess, for the first time in a long time, I'm scared of a medicine.

yikes. benzo withdrawl can be dangerous. be careful. not stupid to quit tho, benzos can be wicked addictive.

[chimpmaster]

Id recommend you get some help quitting xanax, if indeed that is what you want to do.

A dr can prescribe a small dose of valium to help with the withdrawal.

[AirMarshall]

Taper, taper. There is seldom any reason to rush on or off a med. No sense in creating needless withdrawals.

I think your reasoning to decrease your benzo usage is reasonable and wise. It's always good to limit drug use to that necessart for the condition.

a.m.

[tryp]

I don't think you're being stupid - with your history, and what's been going on with you, it makes perfect sense for you to feel upset about this medication. Heck, I don't have any family members with that sort of difficulty, and I still get really anxious about taking meds I don't need/being dependent on meds.

That said, although I've cold turkeyed off of up to 1 or 2 mg of Ativan, that's only about half the dose you just stopped. The only thing that really worries me is that stopping benzos can lower your seizure threshold. Is there a doctor you can check in with, just so that somebody medical knows what you're doing?

[celestia]

AirMarshall, on May 27 2009, 02:06 AM, said:

Taper, taper. There is seldom any reason to rush on or off a med. No sense in creating needless withdrawals.

Agreed. I convulsed on a cold turkey off benzos. I don't know how Xanax works, but with Klonopin the convulsion window is 11-14 days after you go cold turkey.

I was already in the hospital when that happened, fortunately.

The best info available on benzo w/d, imo, is written by a woman, Dr. Ashton. Dr. Ashton's Benzo Withdrawal Manual. That manual covers it all--and it's all free online and she even has a video.

And I can't not say I think that your dad's health care sucks. If he is not going to recover, wtf does it matter. But that is one of my personal soapboxes. I feel like the terminally ill are treated really badly in this country when it comes to pain and anxiety relief. Meh.

Don't manufacture another problem for yourself. If you're uncomfortable, it's OKAY to restart and then taper. In fact, that would be the smart and sane thing to do. Especially now.

This post has been edited by S9: 27 May 2009 - 02:07 PM

[dianthus]

The seizure risk, IMO, is more than enough reason to restart the Xanax and taper as needed under the supervision of your pdoc.

There are other risks as well. Benzos aren't mood stabilizers, but they can help keep a lid on some of your symptoms. Feeling like shit the way you are for days or even weeks could destabilize you, which you really don't want. Not sleeping is really bad for someone with bipolar disorder. Sleep hygeine is vital to getting and staying healthy whether or not you need sleep meds to sleep or not. Not sleeping can really destabilize you, too.

Get back on the Xanax, maybe at just 1mg, and call your doctor and tell him/her what you've done along with your symptoms. Your doc may want you to stay off of the Xanax or change things, I don't know. You need to do this with your doctor. You're not your father, and you can't compare his experience with yours, nor is it a good idea to deal with your grief and frustration with his situation by slashing your meds.

I know you're in a tough spot right now. Take care of yourself.

This post has been edited by susanb: 27 May 2009 - 02:22 PM