I've been sort of mildly-moderately urging for the past week or so. It's not like I have any really strong upset, just low level triggeriness, depression, anxiety, the usual.
I sort of feel like I'm walking on a tightrope and if I accidentally allow myself to have a slightly triggery thought, it'll just spiral. And I feel like cutting would distract my brain and give me some time where I didn't have to be constantly making the effort to blank out my brain and not allow the bad thoughts to come in.
Talked to pdoc about it, but she was pretty useless.
The only reason I can think of is that cutting = being bad, but that's the PTSD brain talking anyway, and I don't really like that reason.
So let's see what we can come up with.
I can think that I shouldn't cut because I might really hurt myself or wind up with scars I have to explain, but then I just tell myself that as long as I keep it shallow and superficial, I won't have a problem.
I don't know - help me think of reasons.
Edited by tryp, 07 June 2009 - 01:26 PM.