60 replies to this topic

[Vicky]

Hey,
this may sound totally weird, but I was wondering if anyone else finds Facebook depressing with its fake intimacy and superficial interaction?

[The Emperor]

Yup. My sister had me make a page and at first I only had real friends on there, then some weirdos from highschool found me and now I am another notch on everyone's "facebook friends" bedpost.

I hate it. I do find it depressing, however, I have a couple of friends that live far away and it's my only means of communication with them.

Eh, whatever. I also don't like seeing how it seems that everyone my age has a life but me. That pretty much sucks.

[Inspired_Neurosis]

It's never been so easy to reconnect with your past, or so difficult to escape it. It's a voyeuristic tool that reduces friendship to clicking a button.

That said...I have one. Tried to escape, but missed out on pretty much every social event that happened during the 6 month period I went off of it. Kids these days have no use for phones.

Edited by Inspired_Neurosis, 13 August 2009 - 04:27 PM.

[gizmo]

I got on facebook because I was told I was technologically unsavvy because I wasn't on there.  Don't tell someone with an IT degree that - it's like starting a pissing contest - of course, I'm going to sign up just to show you I can.

Like THE EMPEROR, I found that once I added one friend, people who were that person's friend wanted to add me too.  Why?  I don't know you from a hole in the ground.  And classmates from school? People who didn't talk to me or were flat out rude to me in high school wanted to be my friend.

As such, I haven't written a word on facebook since joining.  It scares me.  Provokes my anxiety.  To have what I say cast out to people I know through MI communities, art communities, school communities, relatives, friends, and former work communities.  What I hav to say is gonna come as a surprise to *somebody* because I compartmentalize what I let each segment of contacts know about me.  I'm quite paranoid that way.  For instance, no one outside the friend, relative, and MI communities knows I have a MI.  The work and school communities don't know I'm a published artist.  And pretty much everyone except the friends knows I have two tattoos, and am always trying to figure out where the next one should go.

[lostinthoughtandjaded]

Vicky, on 13 August 2009 - 04:14 PM, said:

Hey,
this may sound totally weird, but I was wondering if anyone else finds Facebook depressing with its fake intimacy and superficial interaction?

Totally feel the same.

gizmo, on 13 August 2009 - 04:33 PM, said:

What I hav to say is gonna come as a surprise to *somebody* because I compartmentalize what I let each segment of contacts know about me.  I'm quite paranoid that way.  For instance, no one outside the friend, relative, and MI communities knows I have a MI.  The work and school communities don't know I'm a published artist.  And pretty much everyone except the friends knows I have two tattoos, and am always trying to figure out where the next one should go.

Totally feel the same.

[Vicky]

Yay! I'm not alone! Yep, what all of you guys say rings true. About feeling like everybody else has a life, but not you! And also about compartmentalizing--you wouldn't tell your coworkers the same stuff you tell your closest friends.

Ok, I grudgingly admit I like to take some of the quizzes, but does anybody else really care what 80's movie best describes me? I think not.

[bluelikejazz]

I'd say you are definitely not the only one.
I love facebook, partly because it's such a great procrastination tool

I have varying groups with different privacy settings. I like being able to keep in touch with people and it's good for organizing social occasions. I'm just relieved my friends have grown out of myspace to tell the truth. All that pressure figuring out html codes to make things look nice.

[r.mcmurphy]

"I was wondering if anyone else finds Facebook depressing with its fake intimacy and superficial interaction?"  

   i don't but then it is my extended family that got me to sign on.    besides the younger family members (who chatter about everything), i have followed links and found aquaintainces from pre internet days.   that 'degree of separation' type of serendipitous encounters are fun for this old man.   it is interesting for me to find folks that i might have partied with twenty five years ago.   don't have much to say but it's fun.

[earthgarden]

well facebook to me is not myspace. I will friend pretty much anybody on myspace, but facebook it's only people I actually know and like. Most of my highschool classmates are on there and as it's my 20th reunion year, I friended/was befriended most folks I knew back then. doesn't mean I have to keep them. same with family I don't like I am so serious. I am ruthless about facebook. I am getting to be that way with twitter too, like with twitter I don't necessarily have to know you on a personal level but I do have to be interested in what you have to say in order to follow you back. Myspace I use as a total tool i.e self promo stuff, making contacts, things of that sort.

facebook is a timesuck anyway, and not in a good way. every time I log on (which is only a few times a week if that) there's bunches of: so and so wants to friend you! so and so sent you a hug! so and so gave you a ghetto snack! so and so wants you to join their mafia gang! so and so suggested you become a fan of whatever! WTF is all that, it took me the longest to figure those out. I just hit ignore on most things but every once in a while will be a quiz or questionnaire I actually like then I'll get all involved LOL

I do like seeing what folks are up to every now and then because I HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE so this way I can keep up without being forced into some long conversation. plus, I do have a life in spite of my craziness so I don't feel bad seeing others' successes.

[withing]

Quote

this may sound totally weird, but I was wondering if anyone else finds Facebook depressing with its fake intimacy and superficial interaction?

I kind of agree, but that's why (well, one of the many reasons why) I put a fake name up - okay, it's my name, but mixed around - and made my account private.  Only "friends" and "friends of friends" can see my profile.  Actually, I think it's only friends now.  I don't add everyone to my list who sends me a friend request, and if the people I *do* friend don't keep in active contact with me, I drop 'em after about six months.  I don't waste my time with false friends. If they raise a stink when I disappear from their list, I point out that I haven't heard from them in six months and forgot who they were.  One guy sent me a message about two months after I dropped him off my friend list asking what he did wrong (he's actually a friend of my snuggle buddy; we live in the same town, and I *still* hadn't seen him in six months).

That being said, I've made some interesting internet friends through facebook friends - people I've never met, because they're half a world away, but they're fun!

I don't find facebook itself depressing because I waste a lot of time on facebook, and it helps me keep in touch with my family who are all over the place.  I do find the superficial interaction depressing, if people use facebook as a status symbol "look how many friends *I* have!!!"  yeah, that's depressing.

[havenoidea]

patheral, on 13 August 2009 - 10:39 PM, said:

Quote

this may sound totally weird, but I was wondering if anyone else finds Facebook depressing with its fake intimacy and superficial interaction?

That being said, I've made some interesting internet friends through facebook friends - people I've never met, because they're half a world away, but they're fun!

I don't find facebook itself depressing because I waste a lot of time on facebook, and it helps me keep in touch with my family who are all over the place.  I do find the superficial interaction depressing, if people use facebook as a status symbol "look how many friends *I* have!!!"  yeah, that's depressing.

Yeah, definitely, to the OP, and I know what you mean about feeling the need to compartmentalize.

However, I don't have many real life friends but I, like the above poster, enjoy the time-wasting aspects of it and keeping in some form of touch with family (and my one "real life" friend who now lives across the country) since I hate using a phone.  

I also add friends on there nowadays based on common interests (groups are cool), because I enjoy having at least virtual contact and community, and they all live far enough away that I don't actually have to interact w/ them outside of Facebook. haha.  Some virtual friendships can run a lot deeper than the "fake friends" that one can have on their list simply because someone they know knows them.

Edited by havenoidea, 19 August 2009 - 05:57 PM.

[wondernut]

I was on facebook for six months found it creepy and wierd I am sorry to anyone who loves it but I did not like it at all

I worry about my niece she posts every single thing she does and has 500 friends listed she is a beautiful teen and I could not stop worrying that some creepy person was out there following her ..he accepts friend after friend with out thinking

it made me feel awful when people were "checking up" on me they said it gave them comfort to read how I was doing and I kept thinking "then why not make a plan for lunch or come over"

I am boarderline social phobe but come visit me ..facebook upset me and I had to get rid of it

for people who enjoy it fine

I did like playing scrabble with my girlfriend however and do miss that but it was not worth the rest o fthe crap

[Mayteana]

Am I the only person left who doesn't have one of these?

~ May

[withing]

Mayteana, on 19 August 2009 - 11:04 PM, said:

Am I the only person left who doesn't have one of these?

~ May

No, I can't even pay my twin to get a facebook account... She does have a myspace though, but she never goes on it.  I also saw a thread on another forum where someone asked whether they should open an account - the answers were mixed but many people mentioned that they *had* an account but closed it.  So, there are dozens of people out there without a facebook account.

[Ophelia]

patheral, on 19 August 2009 - 11:28 PM, said:

Mayteana, on 19 August 2009 - 11:04 PM, said:

Am I the only person left who doesn't have one of these?

~ May

No, I can't even pay my twin to get a facebook account... She does have a myspace though, but she never goes on it.  I also saw a thread on another forum where someone asked whether they should open an account - the answers were mixed but many people mentioned that they *had* an account but closed it.  So, there are dozens of people out there without a facebook account.

Wow, in my opinion, facebook is much less sketchy than myspace.

I may not have a facebook account right now if it weren't for the face that I got mine in 2004 when its intended purpose was networking among college students.  You would have your class schedule on your page, you had to have a college email account to join, there were no extraneous "applications."  I thought it was pretty useful.  Once it opened up to the world, I do think that it went downhill and got very "myspace-ish."


May should make an account, though... because I said so...

[DarkendHour]

gizmo, on 13 August 2009 - 04:33 PM, said:

  And classmates from school? People who didn't talk to me or were flat out rude to me in high school wanted to be my friend.

I feel the same way!!!!

I get some of these friend request and am like, "WTF, you treated me like shit in school or you never even once said hi to me and now you want to be my friend? I don't fking think so!"

I also HATE the "you should be friends with ____" thing that is on there.

How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to be friends with my ex who fking made my life a living hell??????

I don't add anyone that I am either not related to or was never friends with. If I don't know you don't bother.

[Choosing_the_blue_pills]

Mayteana, on 19 August 2009 - 11:04 PM, said:

<br />Am I the only person left who doesn't have one of these?<br /><br />~ May<br />

<br /><br /><br /> Nope, count me in.

[havenoidea]

DarkendHour, on 20 August 2009 - 02:27 AM, said:

gizmo, on 13 August 2009 - 04:33 PM, said:

  And classmates from school? People who didn't talk to me or were flat out rude to me in high school wanted to be my friend.

I feel the same way!!!!

I get some of these friend request and am like, "WTF, you treated me like shit in school or you never even once said hi to me and now you want to be my friend? I don't fking think so!"

Yeah I got requests from people who treated me like shit in HS too. I added them at first out of a sense of obligation (and an accompanying sense of dread) but ended up blocking them. I also lost two of my best real life HS friends on it.  But I guess they weren't ultimately worth it to begin with and I always kind of had that feeling deep down.  They got mad over some harmless conversation I had with a guy (that had nothing to do with them) via QUIZ comments... then the angry violent threatening sounding status from my ex best friend... lol.  Whatever.

Edited by havenoidea, 20 August 2009 - 01:50 PM.

[Anelize]

Mayteana, on 19 August 2009 - 11:04 PM, said:

Am I the only person left who doesn't have one of these?

~ May

Nope, you're not alone.  I am happy with my blog, and don't see the need for Facebook.  I don't remember any of my high school classmates, since I moved mid-high school, to a new state, I didn't make any friends.  I can think of only two people I'd like to get in touch with, and I don't want to get in touch with them so badly that I'm willing to take on a new internet thing.  I spend enough time online as it is, with my reader, blog, and CB, of course!

[withing]

I think I'm the only one *on* facebook who hasn't been contacted by old highschool "buddies."  It must be a blessing.