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Marya Hornbacher- Madness A Bipolar Life


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#1 Crazyfroglady

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Posted 14 September 2009 - 06:48 AM

I've read this book 10 times at least and i still am bowled ove by the simplist things inthere that remind me of me

"I always wanted a happy ending... Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme,
and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change,
taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."
-- Gilda Radner

 

I'm so sick of when they say
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine
But I know it's a lie - Skillet 'The Last Night'

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paranoid Schizophrenia/ schizoaffective bipolar type

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According to my brilliant pdoc - I do not need to be medicated   hahahahah



#2 kdbee

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 05:10 PM

It's a good one.
Really the only reason I picked it up was b/c of her previous memoir "Wasted" (having to do w/eating disorders). That book hit home hardcore...and was the only book on ED's (specifically Anorexia) that made me slap myself in the face yelling "get it together!"

Anyway, I picked up the book before I was d/x with possible Bipolar and ... wow... it was like rereading yet another one of my journals.

She's good. She made anorexia and being bipolar both sound very unglamorous. Far too many books having to do w/mental illness glamorize it. Especially books on ED's. More than half of them made me want to continue to be anorexic and/or offered loads of tips.

Anyway, she's a cool lady. I'm grateful for both of her books.
Alright. Here you go--

DX/Issues: BP2 (mixed+rapid cycling), OCD, ADD, EDNOS, anorexia nervosa (recovered), BDD, some sort of avoidant shit, really bad & constant paranoia about everything, domestic abuse survivor

Drugs: Lexapro 10, Wellbutrin 450, Abilify 15, Klonopin 2 (max 6mg/day), Adderall 20-30

Past R/X's: Lithium (tried twice), Lamictal (complete hell), Depakote, Abilify (tried twice. second time worked amazingly. AMAZINGLY! Unfortunately, I simply cannot afford it...), Luvox (tried twice), Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Geodon, Dexedrine (did nothing), Ativan (really good for social phobia), Restoril, Wellbutrin (working amazingly this time around)

Other EEG Biofeedback (worked miracles for my OCD. My compulsions are infrequent and when they happen are manageable the vast majority of the time. Obsessions still happen, not as bad and are manageable), acupuncture- I did this for about a year and a half. While it helped greatly with some problems (my screwed up digestive system, poor immune system, constant lethargy) it did nothing to improve any aspect of my mental health. That said, I definitely think it's worth giving a try :)

#3 caycilia

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Posted 17 November 2009 - 09:10 PM

I recently saw this book in the store and wondered about it. I read wasted and agree that it's one of the few ED books that didn't sort of egg me on to continue with my own ED. Her writing is compelling and personal and hit home so much. After the good reviews here, I think i have to read this one.

current psych dx: Schizoaffective BP type, Anxiety disorder NOS, Bulimia Nervosa (full remission) Multi-substance Abuse (partial remission)

past psych dx: MDD, Anorexia Nervosa, ED-NOS, GAD, Panic Disorder, ADD, BP II, BP I, OCD

.rx: Trilafon, Klonopin (past: zoloft, viibryd, lexapro, lamictal, seroquel, abilify, risperdal, zyprexa, rozerem, ativan, vistaril, straterra, omacort) 
tx: CBT, DBT, day treatment/psych rehab


"If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad." -Lord Byron 
"Whence and how [ideas] come, I know not . . . nor can I force them . . . nor do I hear in my imagination the parts successively, but I hear them, as it were, all at once." -Mozart 


#4 mercurialgreen

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Posted 15 August 2010 - 08:37 PM

Her writing is incredible. Wasted and Madness are AMAZING books, amazing reads, whether you're suffering from an ED or Bipolar, or not.

I read it, and now I'm passing it to people close to me so they may get some kind of understanding of what goes on with me.
"I'm sorry. I usually say, 'Fuck the truth,' but mostly, the truth fucks you."
-Angels in America

"If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and fourth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days."
-Sylvia Plath

"Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead."
-Aldous Huxley

"We're through, we're through, we're through, we're through, we're through
and-- flanking, now, the edges of our schism--
it seems your coldness and my idealism
alone for all this time have kept us true.

Credulous I and hedonistic you:
opposed, refracting angles of a prism
who challenged sense with childish skepticism--
and every known the bulk of mankind knew."
-Jennifer Reeser

#5 mejeba

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Posted 16 August 2010 - 02:49 AM

absolutely agree!
"only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former" Albert Einstein

"illusion is the first of all pleasures" Oscar Wilde



Bipolar II- rapid cycling; PTSD; Generalized Anxiety; OCD in form of obsessive distorted thoughts;

Lamictal- 250 mg; Wellbutrin XL- 300 mg; Sertraline- 200 mg; Clonazepam- prn; Ativan- prn

chucked: Celexa w/Lithium, Ritalin SR, Valproex Sodium (Epival/Depakote], Lithium

#6 OreoKitty

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Posted 28 August 2010 - 09:26 PM

I couldn't put it down! But some parts were almost painful for me to read. I felt myself getting wound up and unable to go to bed. I even cried a couple times because I identified with her so much. I haven't read an autobiographical account of bipolar that was so real to me. It did make me a little down after reading it...kind of hopeless for myself for a couple of days. Great book for me.
Oreo

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."


DX: Bipolar I, hypothyroidism, PCOS, and food & various other issues and behaviors that fit into many forums
RX: Lithium 1200mg, Effexor 75mg, Wellbutrin 300mg, Latuda 80mg, Nuvigil 75mg, Valium PRN, Relpax, Synthroid 200mcg, Vitamins & Minerals
Past RX: ablilify, geodon, risperdal, neurontin, celexa, prozac, topomax, lamictal, seroquel, pristiq, valproic acid, tegretol, saphris, and others I cannot remember
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#7 nonsum

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Posted 26 November 2010 - 10:37 AM

I too really identified with this book. As others have written, she does not make bipolar into something glamorous, and for that i truly admire her writing. Her first book, Wasted, was also an excellent read and a real wake up call to me when i was in the depths of my own eating disorder.
Dx: Bipolar I, Panic Disorder, ADD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bulimia
Rx: Gabapentin 1200 mg, Topamax 300 mg, Clonazepam 1-3 mg
Past Rx: Abilify, Adderall, Ambien, Atavan, Concerta, Klonipin, Lamictal, Lexipro, Lithium, Restoril, Risperdal, Ritalin, Seroquel, Topamax, Trazodone, Wellbutrin, Xanax

#8 assistant78

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 05:52 PM

I read this book twice, but years ago. I'll have to find it and read it again. She's definitely one of my favorite authors. Wasted is an excellent book as well.

#9 seamonkey

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 06:46 PM

I've read both wasted and madness, from suffering from both. Her fiction work, Center of Winter, is also very good
Bipolar, current cocktail 120mgs geodon, 1 mg Klonopin, 50mgs Seroque, .1mg clonidine

#10 mamadweezil

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Posted 19 June 2012 - 04:02 PM

i like Madness, but much prefered Terri Cheney's Manic.
Diagnosed 2000: Bipolar I with mixed state, insomnia, migraines, now dealing with additional PTSD.
200mg Seroquel regular, 400mg Seroquel XR, 15mg Remeron, all at bedtime. Klonopin as needed.

#11 radicalfeminist

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Posted 27 January 2013 - 09:41 PM

Marya Hornbacher is my favourite author. I'm looking forward to her new novel that's on the way!


Psych DX: MDD, dysthymia, OCD, GAD, SA, panic disorder, EDNOS.

Meds: Wellbutrin 450 mg, Zoloft 200mg, Quetiapine XR 150mg.


#12 Wonderful.Cheese

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Posted 28 January 2013 - 02:30 AM

Marya Hornbacher is my favourite author. I'm looking forward to her new novel that's on the way!


What is the name of her new novel?

I too loved Madness. It really didn't glamorize bipolar at all but showed it as the illness that it truly is. I have read it twice.
Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder Type and GAD and OCD and Insomnia (unspecified)

Abilify 30mg, venlafaxine ER 150mg, lunesta 3mg prn, clonazepam 1.5mg, lamotrigine 250mg, seroquel 700mg

#13 radicalfeminist

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Posted 28 January 2013 - 11:21 AM

The title hasn't been released yet. The only information that has is that she is in the process of writing it and is close to finishing. 

 

Marya Hornbacher is the author of two best-selling nonfiction titles, Madness: A Bipolar Life and Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia; the recovery handbook Sane: Mental Illness, Addiction, and the 12 Steps; and the critically acclaimed novel The Center of Winter. She is currently working on a new novel and is active in the Twin Cities recovery community.

 

It says this on her website.


Psych DX: MDD, dysthymia, OCD, GAD, SA, panic disorder, EDNOS.

Meds: Wellbutrin 450 mg, Zoloft 200mg, Quetiapine XR 150mg.


#14 Wonderful.Cheese

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Posted 28 January 2013 - 04:55 PM

The title hasn't been released yet. The only information that has is that she is in the process of writing it and is close to finishing. 
 

Marya Hornbacher is the author of two best-selling nonfiction titles, [/size]Madness: A Bipolar Life and [/size]Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia; the recovery handbook [/size]Sane: Mental Illness, Addiction, and the 12 Steps; and the critically acclaimed novel [/size]The Center of Winter. She is currently working on a new novel and is active in the Twin Cities recovery community.[/size]

 
It says this on her website.




Thanks! I'll have to check out her website too! And I'm currently re reading Madness again.
Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder Type and GAD and OCD and Insomnia (unspecified)

Abilify 30mg, venlafaxine ER 150mg, lunesta 3mg prn, clonazepam 1.5mg, lamotrigine 250mg, seroquel 700mg

#15 radicalfeminist

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Posted 28 January 2013 - 09:28 PM

Madness is an incredible read! She has a blog connected to her website, but unfortunately she was a really inconsistent blogger so she sort of just gave it up a year or two ago. You can still take a look at her blog archive, though, if you're interested. I used to find it really neat to be able to get updates from her day-to-day life. Especially after reading all of her memoirs/non-fiction accounts, you really feel like you have an intimate connection with her (or at least I did/still do). She's an awesome lady. I've heard she'll even respond to personal emails, but I've never verified that for myself. Too shy.


Psych DX: MDD, dysthymia, OCD, GAD, SA, panic disorder, EDNOS.

Meds: Wellbutrin 450 mg, Zoloft 200mg, Quetiapine XR 150mg.


#16 bpladybug

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Posted 28 January 2013 - 10:06 PM

I liked it too.


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'Mania is a dangerous Mistress.' BPLadybug

Bipolar 1
Treatment: 900 mgs Lithium, 900 mgs Neurontin, 400 mgs Seroquel, Xanax prn, Temazepam, fish oil, vitamins, Vit. D 5, 000 IU, exercize, some talk therapy and CBT Therapy. Exercize helps as does the Light Box; 30 mins every morning. I also have physical health challenges.


#17 hagar

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 10:41 AM

I loved Madness, first read it about a year ago and have read it three times since. Wasted has been on my list since then, and I finally ordered it last week and it's arrived today! Can't wait to read it. I love her writing. Next I'll have to check out her novel.


"But nobody ever sees how far the things we shouldn't feel can take us. I just want to walk along the shore for an hour, watch the waves rearranging whatever they can. I like the way the sea encourages me to think about the past, as if I could leave it where it is: the moon on the water, the stars that gleam and are gone."

#18 Parapluie

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:25 PM

I'm currently reading Madness for the first time, and it's insane how much I identify with her, even though I have bipolar II. Her descriptions of mania and hypomania are spot on. I can relate to her racing thoughts, trying to slow them down with cutting and especially her intense productivity while manic. Really a good read. 


Schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type, ADHD, mathematics disorder
Effexor XR 300mg, Lamictal 200mg, Ritalin SR 20mg, 
propranolol 20 mg PRN


#19 Wonderful.Cheese

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 06:00 PM

I'm currently reading Madness for the first time, and it's insane how much I identify with her, even though I have bipolar II. Her descriptions of mania and hypomania are spot on. I can relate to her racing thoughts, trying to slow them down with cutting and especially her intense productivity while manic. Really a good read. 


I know! Isn't it amazing how much a lot of us can relate to her bp symptoms? It is not a sugar coated candy bipolar can be great if you try, book. next time someone suggests to me that bp can be easily managed and is basically a wimp's way out of doing things, I think I'll throw this book at them! Lol
Schizoaffective Bipolar Disorder Type and GAD and OCD and Insomnia (unspecified)

Abilify 30mg, venlafaxine ER 150mg, lunesta 3mg prn, clonazepam 1.5mg, lamotrigine 250mg, seroquel 700mg

#20 Parapluie

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 06:14 PM

I'm currently reading Madness for the first time, and it's insane how much I identify with her, even though I have bipolar II. Her descriptions of mania and hypomania are spot on. I can relate to her racing thoughts, trying to slow them down with cutting and especially her intense productivity while manic. Really a good read. 


I know! Isn't it amazing how much a lot of us can relate to her bp symptoms? It is not a sugar coated candy bipolar can be great if you try, book. next time someone suggests to me that bp can be easily managed and is basically a wimp's way out of doing things, I think I'll throw this book at them! Lol

 

I really enjoy that she doesn't glamorize the illness. I can't believe people have suggested to you that bipolar is an easy illness to manage. I have been incredibly lucky to find drugs that work and fairly quickly too. But it takes many of us years to find the right combination of meds to control this disease. If someone tried to make light of my bipolar, I'd be pissed. 


Schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type, ADHD, mathematics disorder
Effexor XR 300mg, Lamictal 200mg, Ritalin SR 20mg, 
propranolol 20 mg PRN






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