143 replies to this topic

[resonance]

see poll above.

Edited by resonance, 26 October 2009 - 09:16 PM.

[seraphina]

All of the above, except for the work or school thing because even on meds I am not stable enough to work. Well I am a stay at home mom of 5 so I guess that is work. Anyhow meds keep me alive and relatively well.

[crazynotstupid]

Is good poll, like many I suspect, I checked quite a few choices.

Quite frankly I don't wanna have to be hauled off to jail again. Quite aside from the fallout of that, what with my parents dealing and all, jail really sucks ass. Good way to quit smoking I guess tho.

[olga]

I've got depression and not bipolar, so my main reason for taking meds is so I don't spend my life on the couch, wishing I could die.

olga

PS. I hope it's okay that I voted. Otherwise I'll have to do a poll in the Depression forum.

Edited by olga, 26 October 2009 - 10:11 PM.
for my PS

[nonsum]

great poll! so may valid reasons to stay on meds. every day.

[gizmo]

I checked most of the reasons as well. A crazy like me has to do more than a non-crazy just to stay even on the teeter-totter. It sucks, but that's the way the world works.

Your poll reminded me of all the reasons I am supposed to keep doing what I do.

[Velvet Elvis]

I hate the person I am unmedicated.

[Anna]

I checked most of the reasons. It was pretty eye opening.

I can't believe how many posts there have been on the baords lately about stopping meds and whatnot.

I can honestly say I've never been there. I guess maybe I am lucky in that I have the type of illness where it's always been clear to me that without meds I would be institutionalized, dead or worse. I never had to struggle with the compliance thing, and it's never occured to me to think about going med-free. I mean, yeah, here and there I've had an issue with a PARTICULAR med, but was always able to hash that out with my doctor and whatever.

And, I've gotten a lot of nasty side effects over the years, including SJS from lamictal. I'd STILL take the meds, frankly. Side effects and all.

I'd rather have however many years of sanity and functionality, even if the meds do end up taking a few years off my life.

I just don't UNDERSTAND people who don't take their meds as prescribed, bitch constantly about their meds, or seem to think they "don't need" them when they are so clearly impaired that it comes across EVEN on a bulletin board over the internets. I guess lack of insight is a key feature of a lot of psych disorders, but STILL. Man. My first manic episode, when I finally ended up in the hospital, I was really ready to WALK through FIRE to make sure that didn't happen again. Like, really. If some doctor had pointed me at a bunch of hot coals, and said, "Go ahead!" I would have.

The other thing that helped me out a lot was interning at one of the oldest state psych. hospitals in the country. They had videos, and an old museum. And creepy, crumbling, old grounds.

And man, let me tell you. Mental illnesses used to REALLY fucking suck, that's what. People couldn't have LIVES, or independence, or families. They got parts of their brain CUT OUT. They got put in insulin shock, and lived as wards of the state, in horrific conditions, for their entire fucking lives.

It really puts it into perspective for you. Really. When someone is bitching about feeling "flat" or gaining weight. Or going on about how pot or meth does the trick, so much better than the EVIL MEDS, developed by evil warlords to KILL US ALL. Well, cry me a fucking river, really. Please. You don't know how lucky you fucking have it. You don't know how great your life COULD be, if you would MAN UP, listen to the doctors, and do what you are fucking told for a year or two, being honest about your actual symptoms, and ceasing your recreational drug use activities.

My personal favorite, was the poster who decided they didn't want meds, and got bluntly told by the doctor, "go right ahead, and this is how you do it safely," and then had the nerve to BITCH about that doctor. The doctor was probably like, "I'm tired of dealing with this BS, I want patients who want to get well! Come back when you are freaking TIRED, and maybe then I won't have to spend all my appointments wading through nonsensical bullshit with you. Go right ahead."

It must be fall. But really, it angers me, a bit. It's just such a senseless waste of human life.

Honsetly, if I had to give up my husband or my meds, it would be a tough fucking call. But not really. Since without my meds, I'd be buisilly making his life and the life of everyone else (myself included) a living hell..... So, I guess the husband would have to go. I wouldn't want to do that to somebody, thank you very much.

I have freaking nightmares about what living in a post-apocalyptic world without meds would be like, frankly. So no, I don't get the people who spend more time bitching about meds and side effects than the do on getting well, at all. Some people just don't seem to want to be happy, really.

And honestly... if you are so well that you don't need meds, or therapy, then you probably don't need the support of crazy boards, do you? So don't post on agonizing about quitting meds, and getting endless dramatic feedback where you agonize endlessly about to Quit or Not to Quit. Just, go do it, eh? And live your delightful med free lives, happily ever after, eh?

Oh, except it's not going to be that way, because guess what, you probably do need meds, for quite some time, to even BEGIN to develop some coping skills, some optimism, and some ability to live drama free and without whining about everything, all the time, and constantly focusing on the negative. Or, you wouldn't be here. Oops.

Endrant/

Anna

[BIMBO]

I'm med compliant, have been for years. As yet, no med combination has made me better & almost ALL of them have made me worse. I'll keep plodding along and trying but if I feel like bitching along the way, I feel like I'm entitled to. Everyone's journey is different.

[blackbird]

Even though I am still highly symptomatic on the meds I would be a gibbering psychotic wreck and probably dead within a week if I stopped taking them. Plus Id take a load of people with me too.

blackbird x

[Mechante]

I love this poll. Thanks.

[Rabbit37]

Great poll, and yep, I checked off many of them. Thanks for keeping my eyes open while I'm whining about wanting to quit.

[lysergia]

Honsetly, if I had to give up my husband or my meds, it would be a tough fucking call. But not really. Since without my meds, I'd be buisilly making his life and the life of everyone else (myself included) a living hell..... So, I guess the husband would have to go. I wouldn't want to do that to somebody, thank you very much.

this says it perfectly. not a choice i'd ever wanna have to make, but still.

the only med i've been sorta non-compliant with is clonazepam. many times i've taken less than the recommended amount because i'm scared to get addicted again.

i think we can rant away about side effects because they ARE annoying and sometimes really affect how your day goes. to me, it's like bitching about my kid. i can growl about what she does that drives me crazy, but i still love her and would never give her up.

good rant though Anna!

[lostinthoughtandjaded]

ummm........ pretty sure half the reason this board exists is so people can bitch/rant/share/whine about and question the things they are going through. Resistance can still lead to enlightenment.


That said, as someone who struggles to stay med-compliant (none of which are because "I just don't want to" or "these pills are developed by evil megalocorporations"), this was a GREAT poll. Well worded too. I forget sometimes just how MANY reasons there are for me to take my meds as regularly as I can manage.

Edited by lostinthoughtandjaded, 27 October 2009 - 11:19 AM.

[JackBQuick]

...Well I am a stay at home mom of 5 so I guess that is work. ...

Indeed! I only have two hooligans and that's way more than I can safely handle sometimes. Sometimes (okay so mostly) I feel like I live for school hours or work duties that take me out of the house/office... than I can be myself instead of the full-frontal kid-manager.

Props to the SAHP-hood!

[JackBQuick]

And, I've gotten a lot of nasty side effects over the years, including SJS from lamictal.

What's "SJS"?

The other thing that helped me out a lot was interning at one of the oldest state psych. hospitals in the country. They had videos, and an old museum. And creepy, crumbling, old grounds.

And man, let me tell you. Mental illnesses used to REALLY fucking suck, that's what. People couldn't have LIVES, or independence, or families. They got parts of their brain CUT OUT. They got put in insulin shock, and lived as wards of the state, in horrific conditions, for their entire fucking lives.

Funny you mention that. I just saw something on the History Channel or one of those the other night about an old institution where there's a museum. Brought back memories of seeing one of the earlier films about Tourette's where TS patients were burned at the stake for being possessed by the devil and institutionalized permanently as recently as the 1950's. Pretty grim stuff. The museum items were particularly horrific... a much of it driven by "science" that was heavily infused with fundamentalist religion. Which leads me to...

I have freaking nightmares about what living in a post-apocalyptic world without meds would be like, frankly.

Don't read my new novel when/if it comes out... it's all about that. I wrote it and a slew of other shorts as a way of managing my obsession with dystopian futures. OTOH, I think I love that shit and hope to hell I'm not alive to see it because without my buddy Lamictal, I can crash-out pretty easy. In a world where staying alive depends on a certain amount of requisite positive thought despite a dire situation (that would otherwise totally justify significant depression as a response), having the hunker-down gene to excess is more likely to clobber us.

Edited by JackBQuick, 27 October 2009 - 12:31 PM.

[celestia]

i think we can rant away about side effects because they ARE annoying and sometimes really affect how your day goes. to me, it's like bitching about my kid. i can growl about what she does that drives me crazy, but i still love her and would never give her up.

well said.

[Phoenix_Rising]

I will always be on meds b/c I promised myself and my hubby and kid that I would be the best human being I can be.

That has meant some serious brain fuckery for me, ie: horrible side effects, feeling like a zombie at times, weight gain, blah, blah, blah. But I have way too much to lose to stop taking meds.

[SashaSue]

I will never understand the people who find it so challenging to stay on their meds. Being crazy is horrible. Being even somewhat less crazy is much better. I love my pills.

[danceintherain]

I appreciated checking off most of the options. Two hospitalizations (both short, but still necessary) is more than enough for one life time. And kind of embarassing at the ripe old age of 27.

I did go off and I had a fairly rational reason at the time. I have two family members (brother and uncle) who had a single episode of a depression/anxiety combo and who have never had a problem since the first episode that required medication. some renewal of therapy to handle regular life issues, but never a full episode of anything. My mom and grandmom are another story. So, my doctor and I agreed that it was a fairly good chance that I might be like my brother and uncle, when I'd made it a good 7 years w/o any reoccurrence. Gave it a try--and then as soon as trauma hit, I learned that I'm not like them. So once is enough of that.

I'm pretty fortunate though...i haven't had a lot of nasty symptoms. It's more just annoying from a financial perspective and a time perspective (leaving work early once a month for pdoc appointments and once a week for tdoc). I can handle that though, if the trade off is craziness and falling apart.