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I don't know what I am

#1 User is offline   skeletal.butterfly 

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 10:13 AM

Honestly, I don't know what I have. I think I have it all in bits and pieces...if that's possible? I live near the Caspian sea. I found this place through a blog that I followed from yummyeats.
I just thought that maybe I really am crazy because I was talking to someone and he told me that I had a great body over the summer and I promised him I didn't- I'm a cow. With giant C cup udders and everything.

Then he showed me a video of these three tiny young women and I thought they were some of his familyy or friends (in a park)...one of the girls' head wasn't showing, but her body was and she looked like she was 105 lbs? totally thin and flat all around (no breasts either!) with these gray skin tight jeans and her arms were like...my wrists.

It was me.

But, other than that, I just wanted to intro myself. Say hello.

I feel like I'm trying really hard to be normal right now, so goodnight.
No, I don't have any problems.

#2 User is offline   beetle 

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 10:24 AM

Hi and welcome. I'm no doctor but if I'm reading your post right then you're saying you have some body dysmorphic disorder going on? I could be totally wrong. Please tell me if I am.
Dx:
"My working Dx is Bipolar. Yes, there seems to be some HFA traits." ~my pdoc
Possibly BP II ~a Psy.D

Rx:
AM Wellbutrin XL 300mg, Ritalin LA 30mg, Klonopin .5mg,
PM Geodon 160mg, Klonopin 1mg

Dx past: BP NOS w/ schizoid tendencies, Double depression, MDD or something
Rx past: Lithium+prozac, tegretol+paxil, effexor+wellbutrin, lexapro, cymbalta, provigil,
zoloft+ strattera, abilify (twice)+wellbutrin, lamictal+wellbutrin, risperdal, trileptal and a dash of xanax and klonopin

#3 User is offline   Raquin 

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 11:30 AM

Welcome, hope you like it here!

This post has been edited by Raquin: 16 November 2009 - 11:30 AM

"All writers of confessions, from Augustine on down, have always remained a little in love with their sins."-ANATOLE FRANCE

#4 User is online   mudpuppy 

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 11:51 AM

Hello and welcome to CB.

I hope you find the support you're looking for.

#5 User is offline   olga 

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 01:20 PM

Welcome to CB, from a D-cupper to a C-cupper. Be sure to PM a mod if you have a concern, and check out the ED forum when you get a chance.

I hope you like it here.

olga
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

--George Bernard Shaw

#6 User is offline   skeletal.butterfly 

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 01:39 PM

beetle- Hmmm. Sounds like a keeper, that one. I was wearing a size 0-2 USA but I saw myself as a size 12. I wondered why men would look and women all commented on how small I had gotten? I'm tall too,5'8, for my culture (most girls here are petite). I thought people were just being polite- which they do all the time.

Olga. Mudpuppy. Raquin. Thanks. I can't wait to delve in here a bit further.
No, I don't have any problems.

#7 User is online   mudpuppy 

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 03:03 PM

Size 2 and you feel fat?

Yep, I'd say that points towards BDD. I'd seek out some therapy so you can become comfortable in your skin.


#8 User is offline   skeletal.butterfly 

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Posted 22 November 2009 - 06:54 AM

I thought I might learn a little more before I do that. It's a pretty big step for me, therapy that is. I'll take it all in one shot, I'd rather. In my mind, I think it would be much more organized if I could get all my problems together and THEN dump them on the therapist/pdoc. hah.

Thanks again. *off to the boards*
No, I don't have any problems.
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