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why do men ogle woman?


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#1 panther09

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 09:59 AM

I really want to know why men feel they have to ogle women ,my boyfriend does even if I'm by his side.
Does it mean he doesn't love his girlfriend and is looking for someone better?
Does it mean he will cheat?
Men please help me with this one.
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#2 darkchylde

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 10:04 AM

If we knew we'd tell you; but we don't know why we do it; we just do. The ones who don't, just hide it better ;)

It doesn't mean he will cheat; it doesn't mean he's on the lookout to 'upgrade u', it just means he is a man. The sign that means he will cheat is when you find him cheating. Or possible lying about something to do with another woman; that is maybe the only 'tell'. Anything else, is just being a guy. Insensitive? Maybe. Ignorant? Maybe that too.

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#3 panther09

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 10:08 AM

If we knew we'd tell you; but we don't know why we do it; we just do. The ones who don't, just hide it better ;)

It doesn't mean he will cheat; it doesn't mean he's on the lookout to 'upgrade u', it just means he is a man. The sign that means he will cheat is when you find him cheating. Or possible lying about something to do with another woman; that is maybe the only 'tell'. Anything else, is just being a guy. Insensitive? Maybe. Ignorant? Maybe that too.

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Thanku dc, you definately made me feel better :)
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#4 olga

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 10:16 AM

Panther, my husband has been looking at women for 60 years. However, I think that when your boyfriend is with you, he should be subtle about it and not drooling or acting like a fool.

I have no problem with my husband enjoying the sight of a pretty woman walking by, or even talking to them and flirting at a party or similar occasion. But when a man is extreme about it, and ignores you while he's staring at another woman----well, that's rude.

It doesn't mean he's going to cheat on you, but it sounds like he's not being real sensitive to your feelings. Not unusual in a young man. I agree with the comments made by chyldedark.

If my husband stares at a young woman and I call him on it, he says "I'm old, but I ain't blind!" heh

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#5 Swamp56

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 10:33 AM

Just because someone is in a relationship, by no means makes them not attracted to other people.
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#6 wondernut

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 10:45 AM

I ogle men my husband ogle's women ...we have been in a very healthy monogamous 30 year marraige ..

we tease each other ..I hit him and he spends the rest of the evening only having eyes for me ;)
if you take it seriously it will drive you nuts ..if you look at it as a reaction to a moment and embrace it ..it is just part of life

my jaw dropped over a guy in a documentary the other night and my husband started cracking up! I kind of wanted him to be a little bit jealous!!!

Edited by wondernut, 14 January 2010 - 10:46 AM.

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#7 AirMarshall

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 12:46 PM

- Becaue we can? ummmm

Give him a poke in the ribs, a sly smile and say something like "Hey, you're with me" or "Pay attention to me you dog". ;)

It's nature. A considerate gentleman should try to be more discrete.

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#8 vanderk

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 01:09 PM

The real survival issue, evolutionarily speaking, is that if we try to restrain ourselves intercranial pressure builds to a critical level, literally in seconds. Our head will then explode. This seriously cuts short our ability to procreate and further the species. Sorry, it's the way we're built.
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#9 JackBQuick

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 04:55 PM

There's noticing, looking and ogling. The latter is generally frowned upon in public. Noticing and looking just happen. Comes with having a body flooded with testosterone.

If noticing and looking bother you, a) you're in for a hard paddle up-current and b) personally I like a silent, physical touch-reminder (hand on chest or arm) that my distraction may be bugging the woman I'm with (she doesn't do that but I've told her that option is always there if she needs it). It's wiring in action, nothing more.

If I'm going to go outside my mate for a lust-fest, she'll know in no uncertain terms. Bottom line, I'm not about hurting her, I wanna be her "good thing." ;) (Now if she's no longer into me being that for her, then.... another conversation for another day).

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#10 withing

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 05:42 PM

Nuthin' wrong with looking. There's even nothing wrong with commenting on an attractive person. It has nothing to do with your relationship. Heck, the fact that he can see an attractive person and stay by your side should make you feel even *more* secure in your relationship.

And as others said before me, it's not just men that do it. I love to see a good lookin' man, and I hardly keep my opinion to myself. ;)
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#11 LilacOutsideMyWindow

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 07:49 PM

I've only recently realized that MY reaction to him looking is all about me (duh). I'm horribly insecure, jealous, and basically terrified every moment that I will be abandoned by my spouse.

Couples counseling helped a bit, in that he realized there are some tangible things he can do to "show" me his love (which helps a TON! but we think he may be aspy, ya know, the whole, "if I stopped loving you I would have mentioned it" thing - learning specific ways to show me that he loves me TODAY has gone a loooong way to keeping us together) and to remind me that my fears are mine.

Therapy alone is hopefully going to help more. I have a professional bitch for an inner critic, and one of her primary goals seems to be to tell me I'm not worthy of my h - blah. Quieting that internal voice should go a long way to helping my self esteem, which will hopefully in turn help my insecurities and jealousies.
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#12 crtclms

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 02:49 AM

You can't control his reaction to things that cross his field of vision. Your skin ends where his begins, and everyone is entitled to thoughts that they do not act upon. If he howls, thumps his feet like Bugs Bunny, and whistles, you have problems. Other than that, he is being a human being.

Edited by crtclms, 15 January 2010 - 02:49 AM.

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#13 gizmo

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Posted 15 January 2010 - 04:02 PM

We have one rule in my house: I can oogle at any picture (or real life sighting, oh my!) of Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. They just float my boat. My husband is allowed the same option, though to this day, he's never told me what women he's picked.

I don't think there's anything abnormal about looking at a person and the brain popping "Cute!" "Hot" etc. I think it's instantaneous the way a person notices another person's physique and face. And there's nothing wrong with storing that image for further memory recovery later. No different than remembering a beautiful flower.
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#14 panther09

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 03:52 AM

We have one rule in my house: I can oogle at any picture (or real life sighting, oh my!) of Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. They just float my boat. My husband is allowed the same option, though to this day, he's never told me what women he's picked.

I don't think there's anything abnormal about looking at a person and the brain popping "Cute!" "Hot" etc. I think it's instantaneous the way a person notices another person's physique and face. And there's nothing wrong with storing that image for further memory recovery later. No different than remembering a beautiful flower.


Panther09 - thankyou everyone who replied to this you have all helped me a huge amount. I will go back to counselling because I know my man loves me deeply and I'm insecure and paranoid. Cheers
A Life Lived With Caution is A Life Not Lived................

#15 Appleman9000

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Posted 23 February 2010 - 12:11 AM

Oh man, i read the topic and thought to myself, "The million dollar question"

I ogle women because I am a horny bastard, it runs in my genes, my great grandfather had 6 kids, my grandfather had 8 kids and my father had 4 kids as well.

Scientifically, I am horny because of the chemical balance in my brain that says, "Have sex, have babies, continue the human race"

The only problem is that I feel like this, ALL THE TIME!

Its a blessing and a curse. Blessing: Sex is fun! Curse: Too much sex leads to you being called a womanizer and you can never have long term relationships because you are always thinking with your dick instead of your frontal lobe...
Do you wanna know what I find really adorable? When a Handicapped girl with no right leg is pushing herself up the handicapped ramp in her wheelchair just so she can go rolling down it quickly over are over again.

#16 Mayteana

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Posted 23 February 2010 - 04:05 AM

Maybe it would just be easier if women ogled more.


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#17 The Emperor

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Posted 23 February 2010 - 10:59 AM

Fuck, I OGLE, I ogle men, I ogle gorgeous women (I have a vagina, for those who needed to know what genetalia I posess for this to be relevant) I like boobs as much as the next guy, hehe. I don't think SO would care if I ogle women, so I don't try to hide that, but I don't look at men, he notices immediately. He doesn't get all "do you think he's prettier than me?" on me, he just jokes a little, but I don't know, I still don't want to bother him. So late at night I google images of Will Smith to get my fix. Sometimes Cameron Diaz, hehe. I'm a weirdo.

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#18 Latin Girl

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Posted 23 February 2010 - 11:47 AM

Fuck, I OGLE, I ogle men, I ogle gorgeous women (I have a vagina, for those who needed to know what genetalia I posess for this to be relevant) I like boobs as much as the next guy, hehe. I don't think SO would care if I ogle women, so I don't try to hide that, but I don't look at men, he notices immediately. He doesn't get all "do you think he's prettier than me?" on me, he just jokes a little, but I don't know, I still don't want to bother him. So late at night I google images of Will Smith to get my fix. Sometimes Cameron Diaz, hehe. I'm a weirdo.



LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I work with three guys in a very large cubicle.. Let me tell you the shiz they say on monday morning about women.

They are all in their early 30's One is married (he looks like mark walberg) They go out drinking all the time Thirsty Thursday, and so on. But, they say did you see that fat chick on the

dance floor or the tits on the one girl. I've known them for 10 years now.

so they know that talk doesn't bother me. I just say you guy's are pigs.


They do treat me nice though or they know I'd slug em' j/k


LG
Life is sexy, lick it while you can!!!!!!







#19 rowen

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Posted 23 February 2010 - 06:33 PM

You know, I've never caught my husband ogling. I once asked him if he looked at other women, and he said he did. I suppose he's good at doing it when I'm not looking. ;)

I look at men and women, too. I've noticed that my radar turns off when I clock in to work in the morning and turns back on when I leave. My brain is hard-wired to not look at coworkers. We have some attractive people where I work. But my brain just won't go there. Which probably isn't a bad thing.
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#20 withing

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Posted 23 February 2010 - 06:38 PM

my first husband used to comment on other women's bosoms openly (his words were "look at that bodacious set of ta-tas). No big deal. I like an attractive person no matter what gender they are, but I'm only sexually attracted to men.

When I worked as night manager in a convenience store it was a perfect breeding ground for comments, ogles and all kinds of flirtations. Did I think those guys were going to cheat on their wives with me? Nope, but it was fun playing. And, oh! the things they said! O_o
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