Jump to content




Photo

I hit myself in the head


  • Please log in to reply
19 replies to this topic

#1 divinedesign21

divinedesign21

    Pink Panda

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 227 posts

Posted 05 December 2010 - 05:12 PM

When I get angry at someone else or myself, I hit myself repeatedly in the head. I guess it's a form of self-punishment. I've made a lot of really stupid decisions over the past year and I feel completely helpless and trapped.

Now I'm living in Chicago and I don't have a doctor here. Just got here 2 weeks ago. I guess I could call my pdoc in Florida, but he's such an asswipe he'd probably say something stupid like, "I need to see you."

I need help!
I'M NOT CRAZY-I'm JUST A LITTLE UNWELL
.........................................................................
Dx: Bipolar Disorder/Borderline Personality Disorder

600 mg. Trileptal, 50 mg. Zoloft , 150 mg. Trazodone


#2 RoseDropper

RoseDropper

    Member

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 112 posts

Posted 05 December 2010 - 08:45 PM

When I get angry at someone else or myself, I hit myself repeatedly in the head. I guess it's a form of self-punishment. I've made a lot of really stupid decisions over the past year and I feel completely helpless and trapped.

Now I'm living in Chicago and I don't have a doctor here. Just got here 2 weeks ago. I guess I could call my pdoc in Florida, but he's such an asswipe he'd probably say something stupid like, "I need to see you."

I need help!


Don't know about the doctor part but I always used to do this punching myself in the head thing too. Usually over stupid decisions. I haven't much in the past year. It's really reduced. For myself, I guess a lot of things have helped like accepting myself regardless to what stupid thing I did. So hard and it did take a lot of time. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy gave me reality checks as to put each situation into perspective. I've had to separate myself from the mistake.

Perhaps, Give the doctor a shot. You can't predict how it will turn out, no one can. Ask for alternatives.

#3 rowen

rowen

    Bringin' Sexy Back

  • Inmate Emeritus
  • Pip
  • 1932 posts

Posted 05 December 2010 - 09:19 PM

I can relate to this.

Can you call Chicago's CMH and ask for a referral? It sounds like therapy could be a good thing right now.
I have been every flavor of Bipolar, and have now come back to Mood Disorder NOS. Heh. Also, OCD and working on AvPD
Old issues: ED NOS
Meds - Lamictal 200mg, Effexor XR 150mg, lithium 900 mg, trazodone PRN, Ativan PRN
Old meds - Lexapro, Remeron, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta/Seroquel, Abilify, Geodon/Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata/Klonopin

May all beings be free from all pain and suffering.

I am not a doctor. Keep that in mind.

#4 sylvan

sylvan

    Pill Party

  • Admin
  • 4279 posts

Posted 05 December 2010 - 09:21 PM

I guess I'm not understanding why you'd need to contact your pdoc in Florida. What is keeping you from finding a new pdoc or tdoc in Chicago? There are plenty of both in Chicago. If it were me, I'd start looking tomorrow.

It has been a year since one of the best people that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing passed away. He was strong, intelligent, caring, and honest. I had the honor of calling him Daddy. I will miss both my parents for as long as I live. I hope that I can be even half as good of a spouse, parent, and friend as the two of them were. Life is now forever changed for me. It will never be like it was. That doesn't mean it will all be bad, it will just be different.


#5 divinedesign21

divinedesign21

    Pink Panda

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 227 posts

Posted 06 December 2010 - 04:55 PM

I guess I'm not understanding why you'd need to contact your pdoc in Florida. What is keeping you from finding a new pdoc or tdoc in Chicago? There are plenty of both in Chicago. If it were me, I'd start looking tomorrow.


Because it costs a fortune for a new patient appointment. I am not working yet. No money. I am on Florida Medicaid and it would take at least 45 days to get approved in another state.
I'M NOT CRAZY-I'm JUST A LITTLE UNWELL
.........................................................................
Dx: Bipolar Disorder/Borderline Personality Disorder

600 mg. Trileptal, 50 mg. Zoloft , 150 mg. Trazodone

#6 rowen

rowen

    Bringin' Sexy Back

  • Inmate Emeritus
  • Pip
  • 1932 posts

Posted 06 December 2010 - 08:44 PM

Can you call Chicago's CMH and ask for a referral?



Explain your situation, and see if there's anyone who can help until your Medicaid gets transferred over.
I have been every flavor of Bipolar, and have now come back to Mood Disorder NOS. Heh. Also, OCD and working on AvPD
Old issues: ED NOS
Meds - Lamictal 200mg, Effexor XR 150mg, lithium 900 mg, trazodone PRN, Ativan PRN
Old meds - Lexapro, Remeron, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta/Seroquel, Abilify, Geodon/Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata/Klonopin

May all beings be free from all pain and suffering.

I am not a doctor. Keep that in mind.

#7 Miss Blue

Miss Blue

    Blah

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 114 posts

Posted 28 December 2010 - 08:20 PM

I thought I was the only one that did that. I used to do that all the time when I was younger. What I did was try to redirect it to another body part, like my hip.. no the best solution, but better than your head at least.

My Crap:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Attention Deficit Disorder


My Crap that's not diagnosed but that I most likely have:

Anxiety Attacks


My Crap that attempts to treat my Crap:

Pristiq: 100mg

Xanax: 3MG (sometimes slip and take 4MG)

Adderall: 30MG (sometimes 30MG twice a day - I'm allowed to take up to three 30MG tablets per day.)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Namaste ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
;) The divine within me respects the divine in you. :loved:


#8 PsychoPunk

PsychoPunk

    Member

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 7 posts

Posted 25 January 2011 - 10:53 PM

I've been there. I punched different glass things and walls, which eventually escalated into burning myself and having to receive stitches from opening up my hand. The strange thing about it is that the only times I ever wanted to hurt myself, other than suicide was when I was mad at someone else. It was like the first thing that came to my mind to do when I got mad. I would always make sure to do it in full view of everyone, I guess I was trying to make them feel guilty.

#9 kianaaacakes

kianaaacakes

    Member

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 27 posts

Posted 28 February 2011 - 05:25 AM

I used to do that! And somehow I barely even realized that it wasn't normal. I wouldn't do it as self-punishment, I would only do it when I was EXTREMELY angry. It was like an instinct reaction, though, I didn't really "decide: to do it. I suppose that's because I would only do it when I was extremely angry, so I guess I was so desperate to cure it that I would do the first thing that came to mind. I only did it in extreme cases, however, so it was never a habit for me. I can't really imagine doing it on a regular basis for small things.

#10 creepy

creepy

    Member

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 231 posts

Posted 28 February 2011 - 10:34 AM

sounds like a control cheat, where you dislike soooo much this agitated, helpless feeling that you hurt yourself since you have control over that. It eases the helplessness, but it feeds into other cyclical, reinforcing behaviors that are very bad. I self-punish with memories where I did something stupid. Some days they hit me over and over again and its maddening. I try to ask myself 'why are you showing me these memories?'. Maybe one day Ill get an answer! =)
C-PTSD, MDD, clycothymia
50mg sertraline, 150mg bupropion XL

#11 mr freezy

mr freezy

    Member

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 28 posts

Posted 14 April 2011 - 03:05 PM

Yeah man, I do that all the time. That and headbut things repeatedly. It feels strangley satisfying.

Sorry, I don't have any real advice, I'm just glad I'm not the only one that does this. :)

#12 LikeMinded

LikeMinded

    Too many answers, not enough questions.

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 2168 posts

Posted 14 April 2011 - 08:01 PM

Yes, hitting oneself upside the head is considered SI, it's really my major form of SI, or was at least when I was a child, got referred to school counseling services a lot for it (and school counseling services called my parents on it a lot, not that parents cared). Throughout middle school, honestly, I was hell-bent on dying for some reason.

A friend of mine who's a school counselor says it's common amongst autistics, although I personally think SI in general is more common in autistics than the general population.[citation needed]

I'm not sure what the consequences of it are, save for injury to the object the head hit (well ok, that and injury to the head itself!). I don't recommend it, especially after I personally suffered a VERY serious blunt-force blow to the head during a fall/hit head TBI incident in 2006. That left me with a concussion of anterograde amnesia, and I'm glad that I didn't suffer any intra-cranial bleeding.

I could advise you to punch yourself elsewhere, but that'd still be SI. Usually, identifying the stressor that's causing your SI impulses and talking about it (aloud to others in real life or on a forum like here) is a better idea, but that's just my personal experience.

CAUTION: I'm a graduate computational medicine/allied health information student, and NOT a licensed clinician of any sort in any part of the world.  I can come up with lots of algorithms, generalities, and statistics but cannot provide specific medical advice for you!  You, along with your healthcare provider/pdoc/tdoc/etc. are the best decision makers for what is best!

 

Me: MDD, AD/HD, Asperger's/HFA/PDD-NOS/WTF, REM behavioral disorder/misc. sleep issues, some variant of PTSD... toss in hypothyroidism, post-meningitis-related Parkinson's disease/tremor, early stage pulmonary hypertension from a connective tissue disorder that wants me dead before age 60, and a few misc. manly hormone issues, and you'll get a few insights on where that PTSD came from.

 

Now on: Cymbalta, mirtazapine, oxybutynin, clonazepam, lamotrigine, clonidine, levothyroxine, metformin, Testim.  As Velvet Elvis implied, I sound like a freakin' maraca salesman when I go through airport security.


#13 friction

friction

    Member

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 38 posts

Posted 14 April 2011 - 10:04 PM

I also hit myself in the head. The pain makes me feel better, so it's definitely an SI thing for me. I used to do it a lot more when I was younger, but it's eased off as I've moved into other forms of SI.
Diagnoses: Bipolar II (rapid cycling), Severe OCD, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety and a whole bunch of other chronic health conditions
Current Meds: Lithium 750mg, Lamictal 200mg, Zoloft 300mg, Gabapentin 400mg, Ativan prn

#14 WinterRosie

WinterRosie

    Staring down the spoils of war

  • Admin
  • 4704 posts

Posted 14 April 2011 - 10:42 PM

Can relate. Have tapered off as other SI behaviours ramp up, but it's still a simple default when required.

We are clueless as to how the American health care system possibly works (well, someone here knows but they're unavailable right now) so we don't have much advice to give. Sorry. But, at least you're not alone. You can talk to us (crazyboards) as much as you need to! :)

Si nous ne sommes pas pro-nous-autres, nous sommes anti-nous-autres. Oh look! I made a Thing!

 

Rx: weekly injections of Standard Knowledge as needed

 

Note: Staff are here to think with you, not for you. Keep your thinking caps on. I've never been a doctor, not even in high school drama class, so you'll need to ask your own.

Boards I moderate: confessional, people suck, news/politics, dissociation, trauma + private, substance abuse, eating disorders


#15 LikeMinded

LikeMinded

    Too many answers, not enough questions.

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 2168 posts

Posted 15 April 2011 - 10:49 AM

We are clueless as to how the American health care system possibly works (well, someone here knows but they're unavailable right now) so we don't have much advice to give. Sorry. But, at least you're not alone. You can talk to us (crazyboards) as much as you need to! :)


The American health care system works? :smartass:

(Cue complaints from fellow Americans, as well as Britons, Canadians, and basically anybody outside of Continental Europe or Australia).

CAUTION: I'm a graduate computational medicine/allied health information student, and NOT a licensed clinician of any sort in any part of the world.  I can come up with lots of algorithms, generalities, and statistics but cannot provide specific medical advice for you!  You, along with your healthcare provider/pdoc/tdoc/etc. are the best decision makers for what is best!

 

Me: MDD, AD/HD, Asperger's/HFA/PDD-NOS/WTF, REM behavioral disorder/misc. sleep issues, some variant of PTSD... toss in hypothyroidism, post-meningitis-related Parkinson's disease/tremor, early stage pulmonary hypertension from a connective tissue disorder that wants me dead before age 60, and a few misc. manly hormone issues, and you'll get a few insights on where that PTSD came from.

 

Now on: Cymbalta, mirtazapine, oxybutynin, clonazepam, lamotrigine, clonidine, levothyroxine, metformin, Testim.  As Velvet Elvis implied, I sound like a freakin' maraca salesman when I go through airport security.


#16 r2mnot

r2mnot

    Member

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 533 posts

Posted 15 April 2011 - 10:59 AM

I used to hit myself in the head, in grade school and Jr High back in the 70's (Ive never shared that with anyone. Ever.) It just kind of stopped as my alcoholism ramped up.
I think alcohol is a SI thing for me, since it replaced hitting myself.

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

-Dalai lama


#17 reetchbeetch

reetchbeetch

    i ain't lost just wanderin

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 221 posts

Posted 15 April 2011 - 04:11 PM

I used to hit myself a lot. By used to I mean that I have rarely done it the past month. Before that it was pretty frequent. I've thought about talking about this here for awhile so I'm glad you mentioned it. I think prozac + a few other factors have helped me get in a better mood. This is probably why i'm not doing it anymore.
dx: Bipolar (Not sure which type)

Current meds: Lithium 900 mg, Lamictal 200mg, Seroquel XR 300mg , Prozac 20mg, Aderall or Vyvanse, Xanax .5 mg prn

Past meds: zyprexa, zoloft, lexapro, abilify, respiridal

#18 Stickler

Stickler

    Weird

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 2872 posts

Posted 18 April 2011 - 12:57 AM

The American health care system works?


Well, the poster did say "possibly".;) There's a possibility it may work...

When the moon is full an old Shaman comes forth from his cave and, before the sacred fire, he casts the bones...and if they fall in the proper alignment, the American health care system will work a few times in the next month!

And the People give thanks (yay)...

My SI is depression-related, absolutely.

Merrily biting the hand that feeds me my happy pills.  Social Justice Trickster.

chaos.gif

.

 

 

 


#19 liveoak

liveoak

    Bite me.

  • Member
  • Pip
  • 908 posts

Posted 18 April 2011 - 02:07 AM

There is no American health care system. It's a corporate monolith, crushing all humans in its path.
Dx: Severe Major Depressive Disorder, Refractory with Psychotic Features.. Generalized Anxiety Disorder. PTSD.

Wellbutrin SR,
added in hospital 5/11--1 tab per day..// 9/2/11 increased to 2 tabs per day for depression and energy
09/2/09.Start Lamictal
5/29/10 300mg Lamictal
Seroquel 150, 300mg
Cymbalta 90mg, 60mg, 120mg
Klonopin .5mg 3x per day per hospital psychiatrist
Clonidine .1 mg .2mg .3mg at bedtime for nightmares, hot flashes, anxiety, blood pressure.
Metformin 1000 mg 2x per day
synthroid .175


#20 Guest_rabies1313_*

Guest_rabies1313_*
  • Guests

Posted 23 April 2011 - 09:40 AM

i used to do this too, i got to the point that i started seeing stars. I have been doing it since i was 13, thinking maybe it would be enough to show someone that i knew i did wrong and i punished myself for them. It just kept on going till i got medicated a month ago. My ex would hold me down so i wouldn't beat myself. so when i couldn't do that i started doing other things in hiding. it's a hard thing to stop but i am glad i was able to.
Hug for you and you can get through it good luck to you.





The content of individual posts on this site are the sole work of their authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and/or policies of the Administrators, Moderators, or other Members of the Crazyboards community. Health related topics should not be used for the purpose of diagnosis or substituted for medical advice. It is your responsibility to research the accuracy, completeness, and usefulness of all opinions, services, and other information found on the site, and to consult with your professional health care provider as to whether the information can benefit you.