Posted 04 June 2011 - 01:20 PM
But for me, sex gives me a lot of anxiety for a quite a few reasons. I've only had sex 3 times and I was drunk every single time and can't really imagine being sober. I have a lot of body image issues, but even just performance anxiety. I'm so worried about every little detail that I can't just relax and enjoy it. I would love to hear from both guys and girls on the issue.
Posted 11 June 2011 - 05:10 PM
Yes, I have a lot of anxiety issues surrounding sex and intimacy-- physical intimacy and emotional intimacy. But for me, I think these are largely PTSD related rather than GAD or performance anxiety. I basically have anxiety about my anxiety, with regards to sex. I fear that I'm going to get triggered and freak the fuck out, or I fear that I'm going to completely dissociate (both of which are anxiety reactions in and of themselves). I'm also anxious that I'm actually going to enjoy myself and feel all these overwhelming feelings (which could then lead to either freaking the fuck out or dissociation, or both).
I also have anxiety with regard to emotional intimacy and relationships in general. I both crave intimacy but fear the vulnerability that goes along with it. In the past, emotional vulnerability led to negative consequences for me, on numerous occasions (i.e. abuse, abandonment, etc). Relationships make me so fucking anxious-- I worry and obsess constantly about what the other person thinks about me, about how my behavior is perceived, about not "coming on too strong".....and I think it's so obvious to the other person to the point that I feel ashamed, which tends to make me avoid the person and put up a front of being "cool" to the extent that the person may even begin to think I'm not even interested.
This all has led to some interesting efforts to cope. For example, there have been times when I've just outright avoided sex....or times I'd just have sex with whomever, without regard to what I truly wanted, just to "get it over with." I have had numerous relationships with people I'm not attracted to. For some reason, that feels less scary than mutual attraction and mutual liking/loving.
I have gotten better with the sex stuff, and I'm working on the relationship stuff too. I realize I probably should not be in a relationship at this point in my life.
Current Dx: C-PTSD; Depressive Disorder NOS (depression only in response to environmental triggers, PMDD symptoms monthly)
Other recent struggles: substance abuse (DXM), disordered eating, chronic unexplained pain in neck/shoulders/back/legs, chronic headaches of uncertain type
Current Rx: Zoloft 100mg, Lamictal 100mg, Klonopin 1 mg BID, Trazodone 150 mg HS, Vistaril 50 mg PRN, Robaxin 750mg PRN, Imitrex 25mg PRN, weekly psychotherapy
Current Supplements: women's multivitamin, omega flax-seed oil, vitex berry extract
Posted 13 June 2011 - 06:56 PM
Being intimate in other ways doesn't really bother me. Unless I'm not into the person, I'm pretty comfortable with most things.
Intercourse definitely causes my anxiety to skyrocket though.
Rx: Lamictal 400 mg. Topamax 75 mg. Zoloft 200 mg. Ambien prn.
Posted 13 June 2011 - 11:13 PM
De-gnosis: ADD, recurrent depression (or maybe bpII in the guise of such), Asperger's, OCD, social anxiety
Today's Pill Menu: Dexedrine, Wellbutrin (Budeprion), Strattera, Celexa, Risperdal, and clonazepam
Like other moderators and staff of crazyboards.org, I am not a health care professional. You have no way of knowing that I am not talking out my ass. Please do your own homework before making any health related decisions.
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Posted 15 June 2011 - 08:40 PM
Rx :120 mg Cymbalta, 1200 mg Neurontin, 15 mg Remeron for sleep.....10 mg Lisinopril (BP)
Therapy: Therapist once a month, NAMI Support group every Monday
Rx Past: Celexa,Wellbutrin(heart pounding,anxiety),Zoloft,Prozac,Haldol,Prolixin,Abilify(tried one pill,felt awful),Trazodone(tried once two different times,got alot of anxiety),Remeron,Lexapro (one pill massive anxiety),Lamictal (made heart race ,anxiety),Klonopin(short duration),Ritalin (anxiety).
On disability per depression as of May 2010
“...Depression is not sobbing and crying and giving vent, it is plain and simple reduction of feeling...People who keep stiff upper lips find that it's damn hard to smile.”-Judith Guest
" Got to find a way to get my COOL back ! " - Undercover Brother
Posted 16 June 2011 - 11:30 AM
Posted 16 June 2011 - 05:29 PM
Rx: Fluoxetine 40mg/day, Lithium carbonate 450mg/day, Alprazolam 1mg PRN
Posted 17 June 2011 - 10:57 PM
Schizoaffective Disorder. Bulimia.
1,000mg Lithium. 400mg Seroquel. 20mg Escitalopram. 10mg Valium (PRN)
Posted 18 June 2011 - 12:01 PM
btw, I don't mind if you put this in your blog.
Edited by velcro, 18 June 2011 - 12:05 PM.
Posted 19 June 2011 - 01:29 AM
ETA: Also, to be a little more specific, I am totally unassertive when it comes to sexual things, even when I would like to be more. I am just so afraid of messing up or doing something wrong or looking ridiculous that I always, always let the other person take the lead. Men don't typically mind this but it bugs the hell out of me sometimes.
Edited by Eurydice, 19 June 2011 - 01:31 AM.
rx: Zoloft 50 mg, Lamictal 150 mg, Vistaril 100 mg, supplements (B, folic acids, omega 3s)
Posted 25 June 2011 - 10:36 PM
Posted 01 August 2011 - 05:11 AM
I have huge anxiety around sex. And it's causing huge problems for me right now in terms of my long term relationship. (the reason why I was looking for a website such as this)
The anxiety for me around sex has waxed and waned over the years. I find long term sexual partners more problematic. The flings have historically not been problematic. But that is probably because there was not time for the cracks to show.
But once the hormones have worn off and my "sexual brain" is involved, it all goes pearshaped for me.
My anxiety comes from flashbacks, PTSD and being sexually abused as a child. I do also have social anxiety and have been told there is a link between social anxiety and PTSD. This probably extends to sexual anxiety too ? (just guessing)/
If I could turn off my brain for ten minutes I think it would all go well. In essense (from what I've read) the early basis for sexuality (for me) did not equal mature pleasure, but means abuse and control so I am stuck somewhere sexually. It's kind of like untangling it all and relearning it all. Not easy right now.
So I know what the problem is and am trying to work through the solution.
Current meds: Cipralex Eglynol
Prior meds: Zoloft Valium Alzam Effexor, loads of Prozac generics and lots of red wine.
Posted 01 August 2011 - 07:34 AM
I am in a relationship and we have been together for 17 years.
Sex = major anxiety for me, and well does not set off any good reactions for me.
It has got to the point where I avoid ANY intimacy as my brain goes, intimacy = sex = must be avoided.
Very tricky to maintain a good relationship considering sex is an issue.
The issue lies with me - I react like a "deer in headlights" each time, and would prefer to whimper in the corner like a 3 year old.
Instead I lie there and count it out in my head (I figure if I focus on the numbers in my mind then time will pass.)
Yes, I know, I sound like a total sex goddess!!
Not that different from necrophilia for my husband (shame, the poor guy, I really can't tell you how bad I feel for him!)
We have tried couple counselling.
We recently tried a sex therapist.
I did an 8 week workshop with women around this and other issues and other regarding sex and ur bodies etc.
On the upside, it did open my mind (er but not my legs so much.....)
Can't say I am any better if not worse, as now I feel I have been to the best of the best, and she still did not fix me.
I will pay to avoid it, but the reality is that the cost will eventually be my relationship.
I have suggested an open relationship ..... but the reality is that will not work for us.
I have suggested he go off and sort himself out somewhere else, but he does not want to be with someone else, he wants to be with me.
I am attempting CBT at the moment (I have tried pyschologists - psychologists with hynotherapy, hynotherapy from someone who was a tad dodgy, taken every libido pill I can lay my hands on ...... still anxiety = panic = avoidance .... and then disinterest and willing to forego it for anything).
I am not so sure I want this on your blog .... though I seem to be okay with it on this forum ..... (strange? yes, it is)
June 2011 - just found a new pdoc and been given a brown bag of meds, so we will see how that fares. Starting CBT (no idea what to expect) and need to really look seriously at getting control with the help of meds and therapy.
What is happening now? Trying to function - often try to mimic normality - have three children, hold down a full time stressful job - do not have the "luxury" of being able to just be, need to constantly act and appear "normal" and high functioning. Totally exhausted, totally need to climb into a dark hole somewhere and die, but I do not see to have sufficient time in my day.
Snap Judgement: Too quick to judge, far too quick to anger, seldom forgive graciously, pragmatically pessimistic, cannot reason with someone if they want to read my star sign ... or my aura .....I am sure I have a drinking problem, but not willing to have that discussion.
Posted 14 August 2011 - 05:50 AM
zoloft 50mg , 900 mg lithium, 800mg carbamazepine, 20mg clonazepam just to be semi normal
¬ ¬I wonder who said drugs were fun ¬ ¬
Posted 19 August 2011 - 04:58 AM
♪Keep Calm And Rock On♪
♫ \,,/-.-\,,/ ♫
Posted 23 August 2011 - 04:13 AM
it's gotten to the point where i just don't know how to react to people trying to turn me on. i've had sex since and masturbate and stuff. so i have no issues being aroused. it's the interacting with the other person part that i get anxious about. i'm afraid to voice my needs, boundaries, likes and dislikes. in fact, i can't even talk about sex and myself aloud. i'll stutter so bad that my words are completely incomprehensible.