I'm sitting here in my bedroom all alone scared to the bone, crying and shaking.
The walls are dancing and there is music playing in a demonic type of tone.
I hear someone chanting some demonic verse over and over again, and every now and again they say "we're nearly here"
I'm really scared, I think it's the government finally coming for me.
I'm too scared to leave my room, all I want is for it to stop.
Help? Am I going insane?
Nothing feels real.
Started by
mynameisiforgot
, Oct 25 2011 05:20 AM
16 replies to this topic
#1
mynameisiforgot
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A mental case mess.
Posted 25 October 2011 - 05:20 AM
Schizophrenia.
350mg Clozapine. 25mg Valium. 10mg Escitaloptam. 30mg Abilify.
#2
Guest_Vapourware_*
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Posted 25 October 2011 - 05:32 AM
I'm sorry to hear that. If I were you, I'd be heading straight to the hospital - they can make the voices and the dancing stop. They're not happening - it's the schizophrenia messing with your perceptions. The government is not out to get you, they have no interest in you. Seriously.
#3
ninetynine
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Wonderful with gin ...
Posted 25 October 2011 - 06:09 AM
Hi Myname.
Vape is right. Make arrangements to get to the hospital. You know our Aussie government is completely egocentric so, as Vape says, they have no interest in you. Get some help as soon as you can.
Vape is right. Make arrangements to get to the hospital. You know our Aussie government is completely egocentric so, as Vape says, they have no interest in you. Get some help as soon as you can.
Ninetynine
#4
mynameisiforgot
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A mental case mess.
Posted 25 October 2011 - 06:20 AM
How am I meant to get to the hospital when I can't even step foot out my bedroom door? I'm scared, so very scared.
Schizophrenia.
350mg Clozapine. 25mg Valium. 10mg Escitaloptam. 30mg Abilify.
#5
BIMBO
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Posted 25 October 2011 - 06:37 AM
Can you call someone?
"anyone can look, but we all need help to see" (Meinig, 1979:6).
It's never too late to be what you might have been.--George Eliot.
He has gone where savage indignation can lacerate his heart no more.
BiPolar 2, PTSD, Social Phobia, GAD.
Current meds: Seroquel, Tegretol, Clonazapam, Fish oil.
It's never too late to be what you might have been.--George Eliot.
He has gone where savage indignation can lacerate his heart no more.
BiPolar 2, PTSD, Social Phobia, GAD.
Current meds: Seroquel, Tegretol, Clonazapam, Fish oil.
#6
hallowedink
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Reality is cheap; as soon as you stop believing in it, it goes away.
Posted 25 October 2011 - 08:39 AM
Is there anyone you can call? Do you know any calming techniques/do you have any anti-anxiety meds you can take? I think now would definitely be an appropriate time to take them. Call someone you trust to take you to the hospital, or to just sit with you.
It's not real. The hospital or your doctor can make it stop.
Good luck!
N
It's not real. The hospital or your doctor can make it stop.
Good luck!
N
My Brain Salad: BPD, MDD, Insomnia, Anorexia Nervosa, "very likely" C-PTSD, Migraines
What they give me for it: Seroquel 300mg, Wellbutrin 300mg, Lofepramine 140mg, Pizotifen 3mg, Naproxen PRN, Zopiclone PRN, Valium PRN`
Have also dealt with: Panic Disorder (now in remission), Self-harm (stopped ~4 months, but still relapsing occasionally)
#7
bluelikejazz
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Posted 25 October 2011 - 08:46 AM
Myname, if you are in an urban area there may be a crisis team that can come to your house and try to help you out. Are you able to use a telephone and call, if there were services that could come to your house?
PMDD, PTSD and MDD.
rx: Amitryptaline 125mg Seroquel XR 100mg, Lithium 750mg.
I'm not a mental health professional but I am a pretty awesome amateur (talk to an actual pro rather than taking my advice)
#8
enlightened_plutonian
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The boundary between reality and delusion is currently out of the office
Posted 25 October 2011 - 03:04 PM
Definitely call someone if you can. This is your illness talking, not reality. People from the same country as you have already said that the government would not care about you. You need help right now.
Current diagnosis = psychosis NOS
History = depression (remission since April 2009), SI (remission since April 2009), alcohol abuse (remission since March 2007)
Past false dx = BPD (only symptom I had was SI), schizophrenia (I was very sleep deprived at the time)
Also have diabetes and pain issues (undiagnosed) and hayfever (April - June)
Current meds = Seroquel 800mg XR (as 400 in the morning and 400 in the night)
Also on insulin and Microgynon
I am not deluded, I just don't agree with your reality!
History = depression (remission since April 2009), SI (remission since April 2009), alcohol abuse (remission since March 2007)
Past false dx = BPD (only symptom I had was SI), schizophrenia (I was very sleep deprived at the time)
Also have diabetes and pain issues (undiagnosed) and hayfever (April - June)
Current meds = Seroquel 800mg XR (as 400 in the morning and 400 in the night)
Also on insulin and Microgynon
I am not deluded, I just don't agree with your reality!
#9
y58
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Posted 25 October 2011 - 03:15 PM
I'm too scared to leave my room, all I want is for it to stop.
How am I meant to get to the hospital when I can't even step foot out my bedroom door? I'm scared, so very scared.
How are you doing right now? It's not going to stop if you stay by yourself in your room. You need medical help to make it stop. What do you think of the idea of calling a friend to take you to hospital? Somehow you have to get there. How are you going to get to hospital? The good news is that antipsychotics can often knock down these scary experiences fairly quickly.
SZ, SPD, SAD
Geodon 160, Effexor ER 225, Remeron 22, Ambien 10 PRN
Old: Clozaril, Abilify, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Temazepam, Ritalin
#10
ninetynine
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Wonderful with gin ...
Posted 25 October 2011 - 03:35 PM
I know the phone scares you a bit. Can BF or family make the call for the crisis team to come and look after your needs? and/or Can they contact pdoc for you?
I'm very worried about you and, as the others have said, it won't get better if you stay in your room.
I'm very worried about you and, as the others have said, it won't get better if you stay in your room.
Ninetynine
#11
mynameisiforgot
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A mental case mess.
Posted 25 October 2011 - 04:10 PM
To the people who said to call someone, that's impossible, the government tracks my phone calls so I can't use it.
Schizophrenia.
350mg Clozapine. 25mg Valium. 10mg Escitaloptam. 30mg Abilify.
#12
y58
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Posted 25 October 2011 - 04:23 PM
OK, do you live near someone? Do you have someone who can call pdoc or crisis team for you? Do you have access to transportation to hospital? You need a plan. What is your plan? I think you need a meds adjustment.How am I meant to get to the hospital when I can't even step foot out my bedroom door?
To the people who said to call someone, that's impossible, the government tracks my phone calls so I can't use it.
Edited by y58, 25 October 2011 - 04:23 PM.
SZ, SPD, SAD
Geodon 160, Effexor ER 225, Remeron 22, Ambien 10 PRN
Old: Clozaril, Abilify, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Temazepam, Ritalin
#13
ninetynine
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Posted 25 October 2011 - 05:08 PM
You could try emailing Limelight Foundation who are a support organisation for mental health crises for Australian citizens. You seem to be okay about using the internet. They might be able to provide some guidance. I used them once and found them to be very empathetic and helpful. You can explain about not wanting to use the telephone.
http://www.limelight...e=email details
http://www.limelight...e=email details
Ninetynine
#14
notfred
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Meow
Posted 25 October 2011 - 05:31 PM
To the people who said to call someone, that's impossible, the government tracks my phone calls so I can't use it.
The government could care less about your phone.
Dx: Major Depressive Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder PI, Refractory Insomnia, CSA, Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, Dyspraxia, Tremor
Psyc meds: Aplenzin 522 mg, Abilify 15 mg, Vyvanse 70 mg, Lunesta 6 mg, Levetiracetam 2000 mg, Propranolol ER 60 mg
Other: Fenofibrate, Crestor, Lisinopril, Hctz, Asprin, Janumet, Januvia, Ranitidine, Cetirizine, Nasalide, Montelukast
PRN's: Lorazepam, Alprazolam, Dextroamphetamine , Propranolol, Cyproheptadine, Prednisone, Ondansetron, Norco, Doxepin
Supplements: Lovaza 4 g, Flax and Primrose oils, Multi-vitamin/mineral, vitamin D 1000 IU, Lactobacilli
I am in full remission (296.36) from Depression. ADD, TLE, insomnia, epilepsy, and the tremor are well controlled.
J'ai seul la clef de cette parade sauvage.
Arthur Rimbaud, Les Illuminations, Parade
"I think you are on enough medications." --my pdoc
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Put... the candle... back!"
#15
mynameisiforgot
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A mental case mess.
Posted 26 October 2011 - 05:57 PM
I think I am okay, well for now but if it happens again (the demonic music etc) I will go to the ER. Thankyou everyone for being so kind.
Schizophrenia.
350mg Clozapine. 25mg Valium. 10mg Escitaloptam. 30mg Abilify.
#16
y58
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Posted 27 October 2011 - 01:13 PM
What do you think of the idea of creating a simple written plan for what steps you will take if it happens again. Not able to leave your bedroom, not able to use phone, but needing to get to the ER/A&E or talk to a crisis team. How can you make it so you will not be stuck?
SZ, SPD, SAD
Geodon 160, Effexor ER 225, Remeron 22, Ambien 10 PRN
Old: Clozaril, Abilify, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Temazepam, Ritalin
#17
ninetynine
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Wonderful with gin ...
Posted 31 October 2011 - 08:15 PM
Y58 is right. Next time you're at Pdoc or Tdoc you might want to get them to help you with this. They know what resources are out there. Jot down some ideas of your own and get your plan going. If there is someone you trust, give that person a copy too.
Ninetynine
