look can we just take a chill pill?
Most of us already have my dear...that's a pretty safe bet, given the environment...
4) most importantly, how much will this really effect someone's life? can you still be creative and express yourself, can you still have goals that seem a little out there to the normal person? can you still have outrageous beliefs that most people just don't get?
After reading your posts, I won't bother to sugar coat this, it's pretty clear that you're far from thin-skinned, lol. So, here's my
personal perspective and experience with this (fairly new) bullshit disorder that I am far from being at peace with right now.I fucking hate it
. Before the diagnosis/psychotic break, of course I had all of what you mentioned above...I'm an artist
...those things are what separate us from normal people, MI or not. But after
the episode and fun new med combo...NOPE, nothing, all gone
. All of that beautiful magic was lost, completely. These kinds of meds kill that part of your brain. I went from being a very successful graphic designer in a very comfortable corporate dream job to not having any creative ability, desire or could even be inspired at all. And, since, obviously my career relies on those things (slightly), I lost everything. More importantly, I lost my only true therapeutic outlet and could no longer paint, draw or anything which I had always turned to before, to work through any of it. So much fun...
but i can't spend the rest of my life on internet forums or in a vegetative state anymore. i want to live.
, (and with everything I said above) being numb, without passion and not being able to create is not an option, nor is it living, therefore I decided to go off of all of my meds (except Adderall for ADHD and Klonpin for PTSD/sleep) over a month ago. I will not give up my career, talent or the things that I love. This "thing" is not going to decide how I live the rest of my life or what dreams I will or will not fulfill. Going on disability (not to offend those who have), compromising my quality of life, or settling for less than what I have faught for up until this point in life, is simply out of the question. Yes, it's going to be really hard at times, but like you, I want to live
not simply exist
Best of luck to you, sorry I couldn't tell you living with SZA is just peachy...I hope you are able to follow through with your dreams and everything you were put on this earth to do. Take care!