I would file all of these under worst and weird because they all sucked and I thought they were strange
ZOLOFT- fuck that, wouldn't even take one 25mg dose for a million dollars. It fucked me up almost immediately, but I took it as long as I could- five days. It seemed like a mixed episode or something. It was awful. No sleeping, suicidal thoughts like crazy, couldn't stop moving yet felt sedated, CONSTANT panic attack. All day. They didn't know I was BP, in their defense. I reacted like that to every SSRI, maybe a bit less intense and I would stop them MUCH sooner.
ABILIFY AND LITHIUM- I'm fat. Now I have to work really hard to lose weight. I was a bit underweight when I started them, a month and a half ago I was 8lbs overweight (I'm losing a bit now, thankfully)
CELEXA- Auditory hallucinations. "Why, that can't be! It only happens to an almost imperceptible amount of people!" "WELL IT OBVIOUSLY HAS TO HAPPEN TO SOMEONE! bitches." ugh.
TRAZODONE: SCARY and nightly hypnogagic hallucinations. ONE visual one was actually pretty sweet. The rest of it? Horrifying not to mention the most blurred line I've ever had between sleeping and waking.
and this last one was awful:
ANY SNRI: fucking urinary retention. I mean, I'd have to piss so bad, sit down and I was lucky to piss within five minutes of sitting down at home. If I was drinking at a party? Yeah, I'd wait fifteen minutes on the toilet a few times. Then I'd tell SO we had to leave because I couldn't piss. This sucks because as far as AD's go, I liked those the best, but I'd not choose to take them ever again because that was awful, he he.
What the docs wrote down about my Crazy: Bipolar Disorder NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS
The pills they give me to fix this shit: Lamictal 150mg, Lithium 900mg, diazepam 10mg 3x per day
Pills that did NOT fix this shit: Sertraline, Buspirone, Mirtazipine, Paroxetine, Gabapentin, Effexor XR, Lorazepam, Cymbalta, Zolpidem, Bupropion XL, Pristiq, Fluoxetine, Vistaril, clonazepam, Lexapro, Celexa, Trazodone
sun moon stars rain
But I learned my lesson
and I can still remember the last one
but this time will be different. . .
UNTIL I DO IT AGAIN
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take, when people run in circles it's a very very mad world