6 replies to this topic

[sonicwhite]

I have never lost anybody very close to me. I lost my stepsister but, we where only getting to know each other when she passed away. Don I knew for ten yr's and even thos the last few yr's he would critize me on my disibility and weight gain I still miss him. I don't understand why I am taking this so hard.... I don't know. Does anybody have any tips on dealing with a death?

[olga]

Sonic, I'm very sorry you lost your friend.

 

For me, it helps if I attend the memorial service or funeral.  It's one way to say goodbye to a person.

 

If you were friendly with Don's wife or parents or siblings, it might be good to write a note of condolence to the person you know.  You can talk about what you liked about Don.  If you two were estranged at the end, you might not want to do this.

 

It's a cliché, but your grief will ease with the passing of time.  When you are mourning someone, it is a terrible thing to go through initially, but as the months and years go by, the pain will not be as intense.  Since you are religious, you could spend some time praying for guidance and the wisdom to deal with this sadness.

 

It always helps to keep busy, also.  When your mind lingers too much on Don, force yourself to think about something else.  Go for a walk, or read a magazine, or do something else you enjoy like play a computer game.

 

I hope that helps!

 

olga

[WinterRosie]

It makes sense to miss your friend. It makes sense to take it hard, too. You knew him for a long time, and even if he was making fun of you, there was still the hope that that could be mended. Now that hope is gone, so you're mourning that, too, I imagine.

 

Grieving takes time and everybody goes through the process differently and everyone moves through it at their own pace. It's a good reminder to practice self-care every day, or almost every day. To take it easy on yourself and to let yourself heal and to rest and to mourn them however seems right and fitting to you.

[bpladybug]

I am sorry for your loss.  Grieving takes time.

[sonicwhite]

Hey thanks guys.....I just had to put in itno the proper perspective. See Don died Nov 3rd and I didn't even know until january. So that was heart breaking.... But with support I can get thru this.

[sylvan]

Your local hospice probably has classes and support groups. The bonus is that it is free. If any organization is going to know how to deal with death, it's hospice. I'm getting ready to go to a group next month (I think it's next month). I'll let you know how it goes.

[sonicwhite]

I will not grieve but rejoice that he is in Heaven. My faith tells and assures me he is with the Lord. thru all the preaching I told him I did nothing but plant a seed......God called him to Himself and also called him home. One day I'll see him again.