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I have a plan


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#1 bluechick

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:34 PM

I have been picking at my skin for over 25 years.  I have tried everything to stop and have failed miserably.  I have successfully overcome drinking, drugs, and cigarettes.  But for the life of me, SI feels next to impossible to stop.

 

Well last night, DH cornered me and we had an open and honest discussion about my skin picking.  Usually when he would confront on my scabs I would deflect, make excuses or outright lie.  I avoided talking about it at all costs because I was so ashamed of myself.

 

But last night we discovered that I have made a lot more progress than I thought.  I saw a picture of me from 3 years ago and I was absolutely covered in scabs all over my body, neck and face.  It was awful.  How it's not quite as bad but there are still a few scabs.  And I also remember a few years back that I was picking and clawing at my skin ALL THE TIME.  In the car.  In the shower,  While watching the kids.  While making dinner.  While watching T.V.  While going to the bathroom.  Everywhere.  Now, I have eliminated almost all of the times when I pick.  No more picking in the car, in front of the t.v., etc.  The only time I pick now is during my evening shower when I am winding down from a long day at work.  I stay in there for like 20 minutes, completely zone out and just let my hands search out my whole body looking for even the smallest blemish.

 

Well that's progress, right?  So my DH suggested the most simple of solutions -- stop taking my evening showers.  Why the hell didn't I think of that?

 

Now I have a plan in place.  I'm excited but VERY cautiously optimistic.  I have had plans in place before that have failed miserably.  I have seen 5 separate professionals, some of whom claimed to be specialists in dermatillomania, to no avail.  Nobody succeeded. 

 

So here I am praying that this time works.  I am going to blog my progress as often as I can.  Hopefully I can stick with it this time.

 

Please give me your support and all advice and feedback is more than welcome.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder I, ADD, BDD
Rx: Lamictal 300mg; Wellbutrin 300mg: Celexa 40mg
FAIL: Lithium; Geodon. Abilify



#2 Blu.strong

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:48 PM

I think that's a great idea. Don't be upset if you still have a hard time quiting though. Stopping a long time habit can be really hard. Be kind to yourself through the process. Good luck were all here for you. Keep us updated.

#3 Phoenix_Rising

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 04:57 PM

I love a good plan.  Kudos to you for continuing to try to stop.  


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#4 EyeMindBeingGrim

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 07:35 PM

Sometimes it takes someone impartial to see the answer. It really sounds like a good idea! Best of luck and please keep us updated.


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#5 shinydistraction7

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 09:06 PM

I really hope this works! Good luck, my thoughts are with you!!!


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#6 Parapluie

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:17 PM

Good luck, Bluechick! We're all here rooting for you! :)


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#7 bluechick

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Posted 31 January 2013 - 11:32 PM

Thank you so much, everyone!  I haven't really had cheerleaders in the past.  I always felt so alone.  DH, as much as he tries, is usually no help whatsoever.  He usually talks about how the picking affects HIM.  Well that doesn't help because that just makes me feel more guilt and shame.

 

I finally feel like I"m not so alone in this.  Thank you to everyone for your support.  I really need it.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder I, ADD, BDD
Rx: Lamictal 300mg; Wellbutrin 300mg: Celexa 40mg
FAIL: Lithium; Geodon. Abilify


#8 Mirazh

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 12:52 PM

I have some pretty bad dermitillomania right now. Watching you attempt this gives me hope. :3 You can do it!

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#9 Mim

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Posted 01 February 2013 - 10:19 PM

Yes! Go you! :) Having a plan and the commitment to stick it out is important. The shower is an issue for me too. I set a timer for twenty minutes. That helps somewhat. You could also try buddy showers if DH is willing.

Keep posting! You can do it.

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Dx: Pending new doc assessment
Currently unmedicated

 

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#10 Titania

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 12:49 AM

Would it help to work in a self soothing technique before the shower? It sounds like maybe (this is just my interpretation) that the hard day at work and coming down from that is being achieved by the picking, maybe another technique would make showering less risky?


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#11 bluechick

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 01:00 PM

Update; I'm now on day 3. I have found that practicing mindfulness while In the shower, rather than just zoning out, helps tremendously.

Dx: Bipolar Disorder I, ADD, BDD
Rx: Lamictal 300mg; Wellbutrin 300mg: Celexa 40mg
FAIL: Lithium; Geodon. Abilify


#12 A208B

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 01:20 PM

Congratulations! Three days is a big deal. Shower-time used to be a problem for me, too; at the height of my SI, I would always tell someone right before I showered, even if it was just through a text message. It made me feel more accountable for my behavior and I think it helped a lot.

By the way, I'd like to say that it's strong, inspiring ladies like you who help me stay hopeful about my own recovery and I wish you all the best. :)


DX: Bipolar I, rapid cycling / mixed episodes

Current RX: quetiapine (400mg), bupropion (300mg)

Past RX: sertraline, aripiprazole, trazodone, clonazepam

Other Treatment: seeing tdoc x1/week; pdoc ~x1/three weeks

On hiatus. Be back soon! ♥


#13 bluechick

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 01:44 PM

Congratulations! Three days is a big deal. Shower-time used to be a problem for me, too; at the height of my SI, I would always tell someone right before I showered, even if it was just through a text message. It made me feel more accountable for my behavior and I think it helped a lot.

By the way, I'd like to say that it's strong, inspiring ladies like you who help me stay hopeful about my own recovery and I wish you all the best. :)


Thank you so much! What a wonderful compliment! It's support like that which I receive here that makes me want to keep going.

Dx: Bipolar Disorder I, ADD, BDD
Rx: Lamictal 300mg; Wellbutrin 300mg: Celexa 40mg
FAIL: Lithium; Geodon. Abilify


#14 Wooster

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 04:16 PM

THAT is impressive!

 

Good for you!


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#15 Blu.strong

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 04:22 PM

Congrats! That's awesome

#16 Mim

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 04:55 PM

Sending a text for accountability is an awesome idea.

Three days is good, and figuring out what helps is even better. You're doing awesome. :)

"I THINK WE CAN DISPENSE WITH THAT BORING OLD SHIT, DON'T YOU?" Blaine asked.

 

Dx: Pending new doc assessment
Currently unmedicated

 

I kept a chain upon my door that would shake the shame of Cain into a blind submission.


#17 scatty

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 06:53 PM

YAY!  I'm glad you are doing so well, you sound very determined.  Keep it up!


Dx:
Bipolar I & Anxiety.  Self diagnosed cunt.

My New (old) Meds: (previously these kept me the most stable)
Lithium ER 1350 mgs.
Lamictal 200 mgs.

Klonopin 2 mgs.

 

Practicing CBT, DBT, and ACT self-help therapy.

Crazy since the 80's!
 


#18 Rowlena

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

Keep going! I have skin picking issues as well and this gives me hope!


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DX: Bipolar NOS or II,  GAD, Panic Disorder but who realy knows...

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