15 replies to this topic

[BigDaddy]

But I still wish I could socialize more. Sometimes I won't leave my house for weeks, except to take out the trash or check the mail. At the same time, I wish I had more friends and I think my wife is getting bothered by it. Anyone deal with this?

[hagar running]

There have been times I've been holed up in my apartment for a month straight. I definitely understand. I, too, wish I could have friends, a partner, a life. Getting on the right antidepressant has helped a lot with this for me. I'm much less terrified of the world outside my bubble now.

[kitkatt91]

Yep, haven't spontaneously gone outside since I left school, and even then I only left the house if I absolutely had to. I don't really want friends and I stay indoors mostly because I am afraid to leave, but it is really embarrassing. Its difficult being with a sociable partner or having to explain to people why I am this way. Is there a reason why you don't leave the house? I cling to whatever reasons I have to go outside, even if it means forcing myself to walk around the block. The more I avoid the outdoors the harder it gets to go outside when I do need to.

[BigDaddy]

I was teased very badly as a young child due to my weight...my weight is very bad right now I was up to 440 though I am down about 75 pounds.

[kitkatt91]

I'm sorry about that. I was teased very badly too, and even though its been years I still have a lot of fear of going outside. Do you and your wife have any mutual friends? I always try to ease my way back into social life by being with small groups of familiar people. its a lot more difficult facing the world when you feel so alone.

[Velvet Elvis]

Read up on agoraphobia and see if you fit the bill.

 

It's important to make yourself leave the house periodically, even if it's just to buy grocieries or whatnot.  I've found that the longer I go without leaving the house, the harder it gets to do so when need to.

[A208B]

I go with my husband (usually) to buy groceries and things, but that's pretty much it. I was doing a lot better about a year ago and had managed to make friends with another couple nearby, but since then my episodes have gotten worse in just about every respect and I've shut off a lot of communication to make things easier for myself and everyone else.

I often wonder if I make it hard for J to have friends. He swears he doesn't get the "Where is/what's wrong with your wife?" question too much when he does go out without me, but even so, he seldom goes out by himself because he doesn't want to leave me alone.

 

I feel for you, BigDaddy.

[ducky]

I have a hard time leaving the house too. My husband works and goes to school and sometimes I get jealous that he's able to do that stuff. I don't really have any friends and I don't drive so leaving the house without him is hard. I feel like I rely on him too much sometimes. 

 

Even if I did drive I don't know if I'd go anywhere. I usually go to the grocery store with him, but even that's hard on me sometimes. Like Velvet Elvis said, the longer I'm in the harder it is to get out.

[scatty]

You are doing better than me, I won't even chedck my mail.  I did go to walmart last night in pajamas and uncombed hair.  I was hoping to make it on that "people of walmart" website.

[thesystemisdown]

Moving this to Anxiety.

I've been a hermit lately. Ugh. I had to force myself to get groceries because all I was eating was rice. It sucked.

[inthebelljar]

I feel like this a lot when I am depressed.  I own my own business, and work mostly from home, so it is easy to barely leave the house for weeks or months.  I have found that the more time I spend in bed, the more likely I am to not leave the house.  I have spent most of the last two weeks mostly in bed, and rarely going out.  I am trying to make my way back out again.  The sun seems to help a bit, and luckily it has been in the 60's here the past few days.  I try to go outside in my fenced backyard and sunbathe for at least 20 minutes.  Hopefully this will get me out of this funk, and into the doctors office.  I know I need to change my dosage of meds.  The best advice I have for you, is ask your wife for help if you can.  I live alone, and wish that I had someone that I lived with to see me in this state.  I would hope if I did, they would try to help me out of it.  I wish you luck!

[mcjimjam]

I feel the same a lot of the time. When I'm depressed I get very scared of the outside world. If I do make it out there it doesn't help my mood. It all looks ugly and drab and depressing. I hate being looked at, and dealing with people. Right now I'm contemplating ordering a pizza online but I don't know if I want to answer the door.. 

[BigDaddy]

Going to talk to my Therapist about this next time I see them, maybe it will help.

[Brokendishes]

Wow u all sound like me...I wish my hubs could read this and understand it for once.
I get so scared leving the house, im grateful i can even hold down a job...anything beyond that, forgetaboutit! People dont get this disorder and hubs dumb family think im rude and dont like them cuz im never around...and hubs friends think i consider myself queen shit....Fact is im terrified because of my agraphobia, plus his friends are all ones he shares with his exwife...His exwife has treated me like shit from day 1 and i hate her guts...so i avoid all th shitstorms by staying home. Hubby doesnt support me hardly at all...apparently if his tiny brain cant understand it, it cant exist--dumbazz...
At least we all understand each other that we cant help being this way and arent deliberately snubbing people. This is why i frikkin hate 'normals' or whatever u wanna call them. Cuz who the hell woud want to be like this?! Obviously we cant help it!! I wish people would get a clue...

[Genevieve]

I hate leaving my house too. Lately I hate even leaving my room. I get panic attacks when I go into the outside world. I can still make it to pdoc appointments, thank goodness, but my world is always getting smaller and smaller as I experience panic attacks in new places and then can't go there again.

 

I've battled agoraphobia for 10+ years. I've always had to live within 5-10 min to work because I can't drive more than that in rush hour. I grocery shop at 7 am, when the store opens. I haven't taken public transportation in years. It's hard. I feel safe all the time because I avoid everything that makes me feel unsafe. But that leaves me with a very small world to live in. And that's depressing.

[Brokendishes]

Genevieve thats me too...get there when the doors open and get gone! I fought hard to not do that, an would go at high traffic times....i wind up missing half my stuff because people are stupid and rude and in the way. Ive wanted a big plow on the front of my cart to just shove them out of the way! I fought it for a long tim but im back to either not going, sending my husband, or going at odd times when thered be no people. I feel like a failure for backsliding but right now im in a "crazy" phase so i work on just getting better...groceries an stuff can come later. So, i totally relate!