17 replies to this topic

[Blu.strong]

I was in class and they started I talk about rapes and then got into detailed of rape. A lot of what they said happened to me and I freaked out and left. Now I'm freaking out and not sure what to do.

[bluechick]

Have you sought help for this traumatic event (the rape, I mean)?

[WinterRosie]

Do you know of anything that grounds you? Here are some ideas.

• Find somewhere quiet. Breathe deeply, repeatedly, in and out, and focus on that
• Be calm and still if that's what you need. Drink some tea (I like mint or chamomile or orange)
• If you feel aggressive can you find something like rocks or gravel to throw (not at people, please!)
• Do you have a friend that you can talk to and hang out with?
• Do you like distractions like movies, books, or video games?
• Do you draw or write? Can you express what you're feeling that way?
• Do you have a pet dog or cat that you can cuddle? Do you know of someone that does?
• Do you have a favourite scent? Try smelling that, and focusing on it for a few a minutes. Repeat as required.
• Do you have a place in your area that you associate with good things? For me, for example, I like being beside the lake or rivers, so I will try to go there when I am feeling that way.
• If you're hiding in a corner (which is fine) I like counting to 100 ten times. Try to keep it slow, and visualize the numbers in your head if you can.

I need to head out now, so hopefully some other people will think of more suggestions!

[Wooster]

Also, regardless of how long ago these things happened, it is never too late to get support.

 

Consider calling a rape crisis line or sexual assault support program to speak with an advocate.

 

 

RAINN also has online chat that some people find helpful.

http://www.rainn.org/get-help

Edited by Wooster, 14 February 2013 - 03:31 PM.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Do you have any colored pencils or crayons?  Color for awhile.

Try smelling things that you like (ie: flowers, scented soaps, fresh air)--oops WinterRosie already mentioned this one.

 

I hope you find something(s) to sooth you.

[Blu.strong]

Thank you all for the responses. Sorry it took me so long to respond. I ended up leavin class and hiding then I did te suggestions of counting to 100 but I only had to do it 8 times until I stopped shaking. Then played lacrosse for 3 hours straight. It helped calm me down a bit. I'm still really jumpy though. And yeah I went to a therapist for the first time two weeks ago but she told me I was lucky it wasn't full penetration. So I left and am nervous to go back. I've calmed down a bit thanks to you but I still can't stomach any food. And I think I will try going onto the rainn website now. Thanks again

[WinterRosie]

Do you carry a notebook or a place to keep important information in your phone or something? If yes, you might want to write down the things that help(ed) you to feel better. That way, if ever this happens again, you can look to it in that first panic and get some quick tips of things that you KNOW will work.

I'm glad that you came here and got some good suggestions.

Try to take gentle care of yourself. I know it's hard, but that's the best way to get rid of the jumpiness. It's really important.

[Wooster]

but she told me I was lucky it wasn't full penetration

 

This is a shitty thing for a therapist to say.

 

Sometimes I think therapists say this kind of thing out of their own desire to minimize other people's trauma. But it has the net effect of invalidating the actual powerlessness and fear you did experience.

[Blu.strong]

I always have my wallet on my so ill make a list and put it in there. Thanks I like that idea. And I know my therapists comment made me uncomfortable and I didn't go back.

[WinterRosie]

I hope that you can find another, better one!

 

I hate talking about that sort of thing; being invalidated would make it so much worse.

[bluelikejazz]

That sort of comment from a therapist is completely unacceptable. I think you should seek out another, or if there are not other options bring it up with the therapist and if not resolved, their practice manager/supervisor. 

[Blu.strong]

I am seeing her one more time to see if it gets better. If not ill see if I can find someone else.

[Blu.strong]

And I don't know if I ever really said thank you. But thank you guys. I was having a really hard time and you all replied so quickly and with great advice. It meant/means a lot to me. Thank you all

Edited by Blu.strong, 18 February 2013 - 12:17 AM.

[appleblossom]

I just wish you had sufficient medical help! The whole "full penetration" thing is a huge red flag.I swear, they will give anyone with a fist full of money a psychology degree these days. I'm so sorry that she is hurting you rather than helping. You need to be able to talk to someone who has respect and compassion for your awful experience(s).It NEVER helps to be dismissed because "it could've been worse."

[Blu.strong]

I agree. I'm a little nervous about this- but, I'm going to try seeing a new woman. One who a close friend recommended so I know she's more trust worthy. First meeting is in 2 weeks because I'm out of school currently. Hopefully it goes better!

[Hadeharia]

I hope that everything goes well with your new therapist. Your old therapist sounds insensitive and incompetent.

[Blu.strong]

Thank you I hope so too. Ill let you know once I meet her. Thanks again (and again and again) for all the help.

[bluelikejazz]

I really hope it goes well.
A lot of the success in therapy is how safe you feel and how well you 'click'. That your friend recommended her is a good sign because it means she's likely warm and empathic.