42 replies to this topic

[water]

Just had an arguement with my girlfriend.  admittedly we are on either end of the spectrum.  At this point in my life I shave nothing.  Used to shave legs, armpits, crotch area, etc.  But my hair grew back in just a few hours and I got sick of the time and pain and money of getting waxed.  so I dumped the whole shebang well before I met my husband. I must have been in my late 20's, early 30's.

 

My girlfriend waxes every fucking thing - arms, back, tummy, crotch, pubic hair, legs, pits, etc. 

 

Last night I found out my girl is shaving her pubic hair when she gets her period.  She has been complaining about these bumps she is getting and she finally showed me today the ones on her legs near her crotch. They looked just like in grown hairs or hair coming back after being shaved.  She denied that she shaved there.  Then she flapped her hand toward her vagina and said something about shaving there when she gets her period.  I freaked.

 

Shaving your vagina at age 13?  WTF? Who told her to do this? I am SURE it was my girlfriends daughter.  This girl is VERY VERY OCD.  She windexes her folders. 

 

Whatever the reason was I want my kid to stop.  My girlfriend says it is her body, she can decide.  I remember a few years ago my cousin who is a nurse practitioner told me that mostly ALL of the woman coming into Planned Parenthood clinic with STD's had not one hair on their vagina.  Somehow I got the impression it was not good to shave everything. Won't it grow back and itch like shit each time?  And won't the hairs be coarser?

 

Help!  I don't know a damn thing about this.  I do know what to do about the bumps - tea tree oil helps, girlfriend said to use neosporin ointment and witch hazel. 

[Indigo 'n dye]

I remember a few years ago my cousin who is a nurse practitioner told me that mostly ALL of the woman coming into Planned Parenthood clinic with STD's had not one hair on their vagina.  Somehow I got the impression it was not good to shave everything.

 

One thing has nothing to do with the other. STD are neither the cause of nor the result of shaving/waxing one's pubic area. And someone who does shave/wax is no more likely to get an STD that someone who does not.

 

The fashion of waxing, such as the now popular Brazilian wax, waxes and wanes.

 

Won't it grow back and itch like shit each time?

 

I am not sure what shit has to do with shaving: does shit itch? I suppose without adequate hygiene it would itch, badly.

 

With good shaving techniques, sharp razors and appropriate shaving cream itching is not a problem.

 

  And won't the hairs be coarser?

 

That is one of those tales that just does not go away. The simple answer is no.

 

If she is shaving her pubic region, be certain she  has disposable razors, shaving cream, and a good moisturized, Nivea works well.

[The Emperor]

Just when she gets her period? Do you think maybe she thinks that's less messy or something? I've never heard of this.

 

I started shaving my legs when I was like, ten or something ridiculous like that. I did it every day. Can't do that now. I'm 26 and it I shave my legs every day, they look GROSS. Serious razor burn. I only shave the thighs (that hair is fine and thin and not very visible in the winter) like, once a month. The bottom every other or every three days, something like that.

 

Pits, yeah.

 

Va jay jay? A little upkeep, not much. Bikini line is taken care of and then some trimming if needed, whatever. I think I used to shave it all off when I was sixteen or so, but I didn't have sex until I was 18, so I don't know why I was doing that at all. I also KNEW I wasn't going to be having sex any time soon. I didn't want to, didn't plan on it, etc. Just did that for no reason I guess?

 

Now if I were to do that, same case as my legs, serious razor burn that's far less attractive to me than pubes.

 

It DOES itch when it grows back, yeah, that happens to me. That's another reason why I shave what I feel I need to and leave the rest.

 

 You thought when you heard that about the girls with STDs were more likely to get them if they shaved their junk? I just thought "wow, a lot of sexually active women shave their junk." I don't know, everyone is different, I can totally see why you'd make that correlation though, especially if the woman was presenting it that way. I don't buy it. I do know there are many ways to get an STD, I don't think having pubes is going to prevent one. Condoms. 

 

But, like I said, I was shaving that area for a couple years before I even thought about having sex. Once I started thinking about having sex, I actually let it grow back because I generally do not like the appearance of my, or anyone's vagina. Thought having pubes would cover that up a bit, he he.

 

I don't know what I'm trying to get at. I know you're concerned about her doing this, and I probably would be as well, I just don't understand the question, so I said everything I have to say on the topic.

 

Oh, right, it doesn't grow back darker and thicker. I had peach fuzz above my lip that I trimmed with one of those electric trimmers and have done it a lot and don't notice a difference in that hair at all. I probably don't even need to do it, just don't like it there. But if I forget for months at a time, it's not like I notice it or anything.

 

As far as the bumps go, the neosporin is a good idea, I'd say. That sounds good. I didn't ever bother with anything, I just dealt with it because it wasn't that annoying most of the time, so I can't tell you what works for that. 

 

I can see all the reasons you would be worried about this. The fact that she seems to only do it while on her period would eliminate at least one worry, for me, anyway.

[water]

Thank you Indigo and Emperor. I guess the question was exactly what you answered.  Is it alright?

 

It sounds like it is fine.  I will swallow my objections and just try to get her to let me treat the area.  sigh.....

 

this teenager parenting is getting harder and harder, but wonderful as well.  I get to inhale the second-hand delight from her 8th grade romance.  She got all dressed up for valentines day and he gave her flowers and drew her a really cool picture of a heart.  I never ever had a valentines day as a kid that included a day at school where I actually had a boyfriend. 

[bpladybug]

whoa

I am a little shocked.

I would freak if I discovered my 13 year old daughter was shaving her pubic area.

 

It is bizarre that this sexualized aspect of pop culture has influenced junior high girls.

I know I have had friends, adult married women,

who shave there for sexual variety - but for me it brings to mind

pole dancers and vegas show girls.

however I think it really a matter of personal preference, personal grooming

 

in the summer I shave my legs below the knees,under my arms, and a tiny touch up

on the upper thigh if I am going to wear a swim suit.

 

In the winter I don't shave at all.  I seem to have less hair as I age.

 

so my question is, if no partner is seeing that vulva area then why does she want to shave it??

 

what is the the image in her mind of an adult woman?  Is it hairless?

 I would explore this topic in depth with my daughter.

does she think this is good grooming or does she think this is sexy??

Edited by bpladybug, 15 February 2013 - 02:13 PM.

[Indigo 'n dye]

whoa

I am a little shocked.

I would freak if I discovered my 13 year old daughter was shaving her pubic area.

 

It is bizarre that this sexualized aspect of pop culture has influenced junior high girls.

I know I have had friends, adult married women,

who shave there for sexual variety - but for me it brings to mind

pole dancers and vegas show girls.

however I think it really a matter of personal preference, personal grooming[/quote]

 

Sexualized? No. Even a 13 year old can have personal preferences and ideas about hygiene and grooming. Frankly, I think it is bizarre that you bring pole dancers and Las Vegas show girls forward as an example.

 

I do not have a 13 year old daughter, but I was a 13 year old girl that loathed the thick thatch of dark hair between my legs and trimmed it regularly.  It was especially inconvenient to have copious pubic hair during menstruation. I hope that I do not have to be absolutely graphic about why...

 

I began routinely trimming my pubic area long before I was 13 and any aspect of sexuality regarding that act of grooming was far into the future. I still keep those parts trimmed short and it has NOTHING to do with sexuality.

 

Perhaps Water's daughter is simply shaving for ease of washing and keeping clean. Why and what does having a partner to see one's vulva have to do with that? Why attempt to sexualize that?

Edited by Indigo 'n dye, 16 February 2013 - 11:16 AM.

[Velvet Elvis]

FWIW I read an article recently that mentioned that 80% of females under 30 engage in some kind of grooming of the pubic area.  She's likely imitating what she's seen in the locker room or something.

[olga]

Water, you should also look into the issue of African-Americans and shaving.  I have a vague memory of a friend in college telling me that his beard was so curly that he got ingrown hairs all the time and they would get infected and sore.  I assume your girl can avoid this if she has a really sharp razor, but you might want to investigate how to treat those ingrown hairs.  Maybe that's why she's getting bumps.

 

A dermatologist might be able to steer you toward a cream or something that would help her with the bumps.

 

olga

[bpladybug]

Water, you should also look into the issue of African-Americans and shaving.  I have a vague memory of a friend in college telling me that his beard was so curly that he got ingrown hairs all the time and they would get infected and sore.  I assume your girl can avoid this if she has a really sharp razor, but you might want to investigate how to treat those ingrown hairs.  Maybe that's why she's getting bumps.

 

A dermatologist might be able to steer you toward a cream or something that would help her with the bumps.

 

olga

that is a good point

[WinterRosie]

Hi! Mid-20s woman here!
The vast majority of folks younger than me (so... Late teens) shave EVERYthing. Pubic region completely and totally included.
Fuck yeah lots of them say that it is cleaner for the rag (likely true if you're using pads especially at night - I use a cup which is much less messy). I guess it's true. But when all the mags say that sex is better if you're clean-shaven (okay, maybe that doesn't apply for another few years, but... It will) then yes the kids will do that.
Also, if she has ingrown hairs then give her her options: to stop shaving, or to deal with it has been suggested plus exfoliation and stuff. Fwiw I have heard about mothers who start their daughters on pubic waxing regimens the first hair that shows up. Your daughter is doing what they all do these days. If the ingrowns are too much she can learn to use her scissors and to appreciate the trimmed look instead. But few of her peers will, so if that happens you'll have to be able to shore her up as a crazy hippy feminist.

[Cacia]

I also got into shaving a long while before I was thinking about having sex, just because I decided I didn't like having pubes. But I went through a lot of stages as a teen, from not shaving my legs at all to shaving everything.

 

To prevent the ingrown hairs and shaving rash, it helps to have good quality disposable razors, like the ones with several blades and moisturising strips, use a fresh razor every time and have the area under warm water for 10 minutes before shaving. And then using shaving cream (but take care not to get it in the actual vajayjay opening), shave with the grain of the hair, try not to shave over the same area repeatedly and moisturise after.

[rosesforthedead]

I started shaving everything when I was a young teenager as well, probably around the same age as your daughter.  I can tell you that it was not for sexual reasons or even hygiene purposes.  It was simply that I did not like (and still do not like) any type of body hair.  It's a personal preference for me, as well as for a lot of females.  Your daughter may be included in this. 

 

As far as STD's and women being seen in clinics sans pubic hair.. The two are not mutually exclusive.  Many women shave their nether regions prior to a gynecological exam because it makes them feel better about the whole awkward appointment.  Having shaved nether parts doesn't mean you sleep around, or make you any more prone to sexually transmitted infections.

 

So, moving forward.. it may freak you out that your daughter is so young and wanting to remove her body hair.  However, it doesn't matter what you want.  She's going to do what she wants, regardless of how you feel about her personal grooming.  The only thing you can do is to help her.  Provide her with information and quality products, fresh razors, etc.

[CrazySoprano]

I vastly prefer having that area waxed, but it costs too much and I stink at doing it myself, so I got myself a combination trimmer/razor instead.  I don't like shaving there because it gets all prickly when it's coming back in, but I do keep it very well-trimmed.  I do find that it's easier to keep clean around period-time if I don't have a lot of hair.

 

A good astringent will help a lot with the little bumps.  Witch hazel is an excellent one and not too expensive.  She might also want to use a scrub in that area just before she shaves.

 

When I look back at my childhood, I remember my mom flipping out about a lot of things that weren't actually a big deal.  The result was that I was afraid to tell her anything because I didn't want to have to calm her down and convince her that my academic and professional future was not, in fact, in jeopardy just because I got a B- on a test.  Not exaggerating there.  You can feel any way you want to feel, but maybe don't react too strongly in front of your daughter.  Try to respond calmly and she'll probably be more forthcoming.

[scatty]

I used to use nair to the nether region, even though it is not recommended and most humans would get chemical burns, just proves I am an android or something cause it never phased me and was much easier than shaving.  Not recommeded unless you daughter is an android or some type of robot, though!

 

These days I think my SO is gonna send out a search party to locate my clitoris, as it is so damn hairy down there! 

 

No way is shaving related to strippers or STDs or whores.  I know it wasn't the thing to do when we were younger, but times have changed and pussys are naked now.  It also makes it smell less when you haven't showered in two weeks (tmi?)

[Velvet Elvis]

BTW, the article I read mentioned than a fairly large potion of males under 30 are bald now too (40%)?

 

I'm all about some body hair, but to each their own.

[Catnapper]

Maybe next time you're at the gyno you can ask them the percent shaven that they see, and the corresponding ages of the patients. 

[bpladybug]

wow lol

this is really an eye opener

ha ha  

that you all for sharing, I had no idea.....

sorry if I offended anyone with my stripper/pole dancer reference

[confused]

I think it's a good sign that she told you.  I don't think my daughter shaves except her underarms.  But, she's really private.  She has an electric shaver. 

[Artemisia]

Yeah, young people nowadays tend to be "against" pubic hair.

 

It could be a personal preference for her, but frankly, I suspect that she does it mostly because all of her girl friends do it, and she doesn't want to stand out. Adolescence is a difficult period for most people, and the need for acceptance (and the fear of bullying!) is strong.

 

And it is a very good sign that she told you.

[Mirazh]

I suspect multiple factors, perhaps. As in, the influence from her peers, and more personal reasons such as a desire for cleanliness or ease of such.

I gre up being bullied but girls in the locker room at that age were some of the worst. Thanks to my family tree and possible hormonal differences, let's just say that I am rather, ah, gifted in the realm of the fuzz. For many years I essentially removed most everything from the neck down, and I even used to remove and draw on my eyebrows. I did find things I personally prefer about that state, but some of the initial influence was peer related.