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cutting distractions

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#1 AloshaLied

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:32 PM

Nothing is working. I've looked in the "I wanted to" forum and found nothing. I'm trying so hard not to cut but the blade is so close. Someone please help me.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder II, Major Depressive Disorder, Personality Disorder NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS, social anxiety, eating disorder NOS

Rx: current - Effexor 75mg; former - Lamictal 150mg; Prozac 20mg and Abilify 2mg

 

"We wear the mask that grins and lies

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes

This debt we pay to human guile

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile

And mouth with myriad subtleties."

 

"In the end we are all mere clockwork angels."



#2 Wooster

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

Do ANYTHING to put distance between yourself and the sharps... wrap them in duct tape, freeze them in a block of ice, give them to someone, mail them to Madagascar, lock them in your mailbox... seriously... get creative.


Boards I mod on: self harm, panic/anxiety, ptsd, ocd, dissociative, sleep, not otherwise specified, benzos, lifestyle alternatives, therapy, health care system

Current meds: 60# golden retriever service dog, (swellbutrin, light box, vitamin D for the impending lack of sunlight blahs)

*disclaimer--Nothing I write should be construed as professional advice or creating a therapeutic relationship.*

Hurray! I *finally* figured out how to correct my starting weight on MFP!
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Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods


#3 AloshaLied

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:35 PM

Good advice, Wooster, but I'm scared that if I pick them up I won't put them down.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder II, Major Depressive Disorder, Personality Disorder NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS, social anxiety, eating disorder NOS

Rx: current - Effexor 75mg; former - Lamictal 150mg; Prozac 20mg and Abilify 2mg

 

"We wear the mask that grins and lies

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes

This debt we pay to human guile

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile

And mouth with myriad subtleties."

 

"In the end we are all mere clockwork angels."


#4 Mirazh

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:37 PM

Sitting in chat.  Posting to this forum.  I've hyperfocused my way through a reallly long book, just poured all my energy and attention into reading it, making detailed pictures of the story in my head.  Drawing, pouring all my feelings into my art.  Music - careful with this one, useful perhaps if you're singing really loudly along with something.

 

Some methods work better if you self harm for one reason, some work better for different reasons.  I used to self harm to dissociate from emotions, so finding other ways to vent or dissociate those emotions have been really key.



Is there anyone you trust that you can give the sharps to?  You wouldn't have to touch them that way.


Important Info: Neighbourhood punkicorn and emogoff; definitely not a doctor.  A crazy like the rest of you -- user first and moderator second.  For understanding, extended thanks.  Further info is on my profile.  Also on my Moderator Intro Post.

 

Pronouns (to eliminate confusion) :  ne / nem / nir / nemself

 

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#5 Wooster

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:37 PM

Then, find something... anything... to distract yourself.

 

Even if you don't feel like it. Commit to doing whatever that thing is for 5 minutes at a time.

 

Try triggering your dive reflex by putting your entire face into a bowl of ice water or blasting the shower full cold in your face. Do jumping jacks, pushups, etc.

 

There were times where I marked a square on the carpet in tape and made that the "safe zone" and would have to hang out in the safe zone until the urges passed.


Boards I mod on: self harm, panic/anxiety, ptsd, ocd, dissociative, sleep, not otherwise specified, benzos, lifestyle alternatives, therapy, health care system

Current meds: 60# golden retriever service dog, (swellbutrin, light box, vitamin D for the impending lack of sunlight blahs)

*disclaimer--Nothing I write should be construed as professional advice or creating a therapeutic relationship.*

Hurray! I *finally* figured out how to correct my starting weight on MFP!
21850981.png
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods


#6 AloshaLied

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:38 PM

I just want to feel something. Even if that something is blood running down my skin.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder II, Major Depressive Disorder, Personality Disorder NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS, social anxiety, eating disorder NOS

Rx: current - Effexor 75mg; former - Lamictal 150mg; Prozac 20mg and Abilify 2mg

 

"We wear the mask that grins and lies

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes

This debt we pay to human guile

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile

And mouth with myriad subtleties."

 

"In the end we are all mere clockwork angels."


#7 Mirazh

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:40 PM

Ah, sounds like a different reason than why I used to.  In which case, the head in a sink of cold water may be a better suggestion, that system-shock kind of thing.


Important Info: Neighbourhood punkicorn and emogoff; definitely not a doctor.  A crazy like the rest of you -- user first and moderator second.  For understanding, extended thanks.  Further info is on my profile.  Also on my Moderator Intro Post.

 

Pronouns (to eliminate confusion) :  ne / nem / nir / nemself

 

tumblr_inline_n7dsmwRe2n1rghkw5.png


#8 Wooster

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:42 PM

Burrito wrap yourself into a snuggly blanket and put on a distracting non-triggering video like Shaun the Sheep.

 

There's also this little crash course in mindfulness that i posted recently for someone who wanted to do skin picking:
 

http://www.crazyboar...ermatillimania/



How else could you replicate that sensation?

 

small squeezy bottle of red food coloring used to make drips going down your arm?


Boards I mod on: self harm, panic/anxiety, ptsd, ocd, dissociative, sleep, not otherwise specified, benzos, lifestyle alternatives, therapy, health care system

Current meds: 60# golden retriever service dog, (swellbutrin, light box, vitamin D for the impending lack of sunlight blahs)

*disclaimer--Nothing I write should be construed as professional advice or creating a therapeutic relationship.*

Hurray! I *finally* figured out how to correct my starting weight on MFP!
21850981.png
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods


#9 AloshaLied

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:44 PM

Okay, thanks. I'm going to do 25 crunches and come back . . . I haven't eaten much so hopefully it won't trigger my ED *crosses fingers*


Dx: Bipolar Disorder II, Major Depressive Disorder, Personality Disorder NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS, social anxiety, eating disorder NOS

Rx: current - Effexor 75mg; former - Lamictal 150mg; Prozac 20mg and Abilify 2mg

 

"We wear the mask that grins and lies

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes

This debt we pay to human guile

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile

And mouth with myriad subtleties."

 

"In the end we are all mere clockwork angels."


#10 Wooster

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 04:46 PM

Sometimes the trick is also to acknowledge the urge... "I see you."

And know that you're going to choose to do something else anyway.

 

There's also the idea from DBT about "urge surfing" where you notice the urges kind of coming in like waves, and breathe, and ride them out.


Boards I mod on: self harm, panic/anxiety, ptsd, ocd, dissociative, sleep, not otherwise specified, benzos, lifestyle alternatives, therapy, health care system

Current meds: 60# golden retriever service dog, (swellbutrin, light box, vitamin D for the impending lack of sunlight blahs)

*disclaimer--Nothing I write should be construed as professional advice or creating a therapeutic relationship.*

Hurray! I *finally* figured out how to correct my starting weight on MFP!
21850981.png
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods


#11 Parapluie

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 05:24 PM

I like to do jumping jacks when I have an urge. Also, punching a pillow, screaming into a pillow, squeezing a soft teddy, drawing on myself, pacing in circles. 

 

I also "surf the urge" and feel it come in waves, like Woo said. I find this really helpful. I acknowledge that there is an urge, and I breathe through it. 

 

Hopefully all these suggestions help. 


Edited by Parapluie, 16 February 2013 - 05:25 PM.

"There's something about flying a kite at night that's so unwholesome."


#12 ZenOut

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 06:11 PM

I really think you should talk to a Dr. about this. 


 Current Dx theory: BPII (or III or IV), BPD, GAD w/panic attacks, recovered SA, PTSD

 Rx: Lamictal 200mg, Lexapro 10mg, Seroquel 25-50mg, Nuvigil 50mg, Xanax 0.5mg prn

 

"Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame. / Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned. / But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die. / You gotta get up and try try try, / you gotta get up and try try try, / you gotta get up and try try try." - P!nk

 

"How long is lonely supposed to last?" - P!nk


#13 lucidity

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 06:15 PM

I used to hold ice cubes for a bit it's kind of a shock from the cold and a tingle sometimes that was enough to curb the need. Just hang in there.


I'm just feeling you know...a little loose around the edges.
You know they come so close....
[Now I have: Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies, Generalized Anxiety disorder,Depressive Disorder,signs of ptsd]
[I'm on: xanax]
[I was on: buspar,paxil,celexa,effexor,ativan,prozac,xanax,kolonapin,trazadone,xanax,zoloft]


#14 lifequake

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 06:46 PM

I hope you are finding some of the above suggestions helpful.  Just letting you know I am reading and thinking of you surfing through the urges.  They will pass.


Dx: MDD, GAD, PMDD, bulimia
Rx: Viibryd (40 mg); Cytomel (25 mcg); Vyvanse (20 mg)
 
"What is to give light must endure burning." (Viktor E. Frankl)

#15 shimmeree

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 07:48 PM

My pdoc recommends putting a hand into a bowl of ice water and holding it there as long as you can. You get the same chemical rush in the brain and pain, if that's the object, but without scars. Good luck, whatever you do.

Dx: major depression, C-PTSD. (309.81, 296.3X), self- harm, alcohol abuse
Rx: 225 mg venlafaxine HCL (currently titrating up to 300 mg), 900 mg gabapentin TID, 50 mg trazodone
past Rx: Paxil, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, clonazepam, lorazepam

As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being. ~ Carl Jung
We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. ~ Carl Jung
 


#16 AloshaLied

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 08:59 PM

Thank you all for the input. I'm okay right now. I've been working really hard on distracting myself, but the night is always the hardest and I'm scared to face it, honestly. I'll keep your suggestions in mind. Fingers crossed, ya?


Dx: Bipolar Disorder II, Major Depressive Disorder, Personality Disorder NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS, social anxiety, eating disorder NOS

Rx: current - Effexor 75mg; former - Lamictal 150mg; Prozac 20mg and Abilify 2mg

 

"We wear the mask that grins and lies

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes

This debt we pay to human guile

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile

And mouth with myriad subtleties."

 

"In the end we are all mere clockwork angels."


#17 bluechick

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:29 PM

Do you live alone?  Can you have someone come over and get rid of all your sharp things for you?  I understand the urge to use when it's right in front of you.  So make sure it's nowhere you.  You can't cut if the tools are gone.  Have someone do it for you and that will help the problem immensely.

 

If necessary, invite someone to stay the night so they can monitor you.

 

If you can't do those things, get someone on the phone and have them walk you through disposing of the blades.  When I first quit drinking and had to go to the grocery store alone, I would have someone on the phone with me while I walked through the store.  I would narrate what I was doing and they would instruct me on where to go and where not to go.  They stayed on the phone with me until I made it safely home.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder I, ADD, BDD
Rx: Lamictal 300mg; Wellbutrin 300mg: Celexa 40mg
FAIL: Lithium; Geodon. Abilify


#18 AloshaLied

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:31 PM

I can't call anyone because none of my friends know that I've been cutting, and they are a large part of my need to SH right now. I live with my mom but if I told her she would pull me out of school, which would make everything 1,000 times worse.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder II, Major Depressive Disorder, Personality Disorder NOS, Anxiety Disorder NOS, social anxiety, eating disorder NOS

Rx: current - Effexor 75mg; former - Lamictal 150mg; Prozac 20mg and Abilify 2mg

 

"We wear the mask that grins and lies

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes

This debt we pay to human guile

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile

And mouth with myriad subtleties."

 

"In the end we are all mere clockwork angels."


#19 hagar

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:38 PM

I haven't cut since last April. I still get strong urges all the time. I absolutely can't have razors, knives, scissors, or thumbtacks in my apartment. Usually I'm able to simply distract myself with a book, a movie, a phone call, a cup of coffee, going to the gym, posting on CB, or taking a long walk. Anything to get out of my own head for a while and regain some perspective. But when the urges feel too overwhelming I take really really hot showers, like almost scalding hot and just stand there until it passes. And (though I'm not suggesting this by any means) I smoke cigarettes. A lot of them. The urges always pass eventually. I understand nighttime being the hardest time, it is for me too. I'm glad you were able to distract yourself.


"But nobody ever sees how far the things we shouldn't feel can take us. I just want to walk along the shore for an hour, watch the waves rearranging whatever they can. I like the way the sea encourages me to think about the past, as if I could leave it where it is: the moon on the water, the stars that gleam and are gone."

#20 bluechick

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:54 PM

I can't call anyone because none of my friends know that I've been cutting, and they are a large part of my need to SH right now. I live with my mom but if I told her she would pull me out of school, which would make everything 1,000 times worse.

I'm going to challenge you a little bit, then.  My husband is studying to become a marriage and family counselor.  What he often suggests, which always seems to work and is insanely uncomfortable is to "make the covert, overt".  In other words, take your naughty little secrets and talk about them to at least one person.  This accomplishes a few things.  First, part of the overwhelming part of your urges is likely due in part to the secrecy.   I've been there.  The secret keeps you wallowing in shame and makes you want to SH more.  Letting the secret out takes away most of its power over you making it more manageable.  The other thing that telling one person does is that it gives you someone who can help you.  You shouldn't be going through this alone.

 

And not to mention, we all underestimate people.  "Oh, they won't understand."  "They'll think less of me."  Etc etc.  In reality, that's just our disease talking.  People for the most part tend to be overwhelmingly understanding.  The exception to that is family members and others who are directly harmed by your behaviors (girlfriends, boyfriends, etc.) 

 

I almost guarantee that if you tell one of your friends, they will step up, be understanding, and be supportive.  Try it.  You may be surprised.  I do agree that you should keep your mom out of it for now.

 

And if you can't call a friend right now, or you are too scared to, call the crisis hotline.  They are more than happy to listen and to comfort you. 

 

Or you can always try some of the great tips you've already gotten.  You can do this.  You have more strength than you realize.


Dx: Bipolar Disorder I, ADD, BDD
Rx: Lamictal 300mg; Wellbutrin 300mg: Celexa 40mg
FAIL: Lithium; Geodon. Abilify






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