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clingy internet friends


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#1 Breebree93

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:17 PM

Clingy internet friends (who claim to be in love with you) suck. 

 

 

Okay, yes, we have a lot in common, yes we playfully chat, we speak casually...but you don't love me. ._. and if I tell you "I'm not happy" getting *cuddles you sweetly* does not help. It's annoying as FUCK! And it makes that person suck. Or saying "I want to have babies with you and live in our dream house together with babies and pets and blah blah blah" ...NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO!  

 

Losers D: omfg, loser! Getting a text hug does not make me feel better, hearing "I love you so much" from someone I don't even know their real names makes me ANGRY. 

 

Saying things like "I want you happy 90% of the time" makes me feel more shitty...and when you text me more than my real friends it upsets me. I don't know how to say "I don't like you like that! I don't like your texts that claim you're in love with me, I don't like YOU! Get a life!" 

 

I can't bring myself to say those things. 

 

Clingy internet friends SUCK! 


You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again
~Pink Floyd



#2 bluechick

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:19 PM

Where on the internet do you go?  That sounds awful.

 

Do you have a smartphone?  If so, you can block all communication from that person.  You don't owe them anything.


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#3 WinterRosie

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:25 PM

Yep. It's why I hang out here, rather than on so many other forums where they offer me hugs (ugh) and flower gifs and to sit with me when I feel low.

I hear you there!


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#4 Manic Maverick

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:26 PM

It sounds like that person is just genuinely trying to cheer you up. If you don't like it just politely tell them so.



#5 Breebree93

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:38 PM

Told him I don't like it. (It's in the furry community)  I think he is trying to cheer me up, but I don't like living in a fantasy world. I like living REAL LIFE. Not texts. 

 

 

I could tell him to fuck off...I don't do things like that though. 

 

I told him "Dude, you're moving too fast with all this "love you" stuff, and I don't want to play games. I want something real." and he keeps asking, "Well, will you be my one and only." Well...the answer to that is no, I'm not his at all. 

 

It's creepy. Really creepy. 


You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again
~Pink Floyd


#6 bluechick

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:41 PM

It sounds like that person is just genuinely trying to cheer you up. If you don't like it just politely tell them so.

Um, saying "I want to have babies with you and live in our dream house together with babies and pets and blah blah blah" is just trying to cheer her up?  I find it VERY creepy and inappropriate.


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#7 Artemisia

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:41 PM

Perhaps the community has rules on what interactions are acceptable and how to handle unwanted interactions? I agree that you shouldn't have to put up with unwanted attention of this sort....


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#8 Manic Maverick

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:45 PM

It sounds like that person is just genuinely trying to cheer you up. If you don't like it just politely tell them so.

Um, saying "I want to have babies with you and live in our dream house together with babies and pets and blah blah blah" is just trying to cheer her up?  I find it VERY creepy and inappropriate.

 

Depends how long you've been talking and many other things, you can't call something creepy without any context.



#9 Breebree93

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:46 PM

Has my cell phone number ._. I don't know how to block phone numbers on a regular cell phone. If I get on skype, he's there, when I wake up I have three texts from him, when I go to bed there are like ten texts, "Can I call you"  "are you okay" "did you take your meds" "*snuggles and kisses*"   

 

I wanna simply say "Dude, you's a freak! Leave me aloooone!" Idk how though. I don't have balls that are that big. 


You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again
~Pink Floyd


#10 bluechick

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:49 PM

Here, text this, "(name), you are a really nice guy.  But I think you and I have two different ideas of our relationship.  I am no longer comfortable moving forward.  I would appreciate it if you didn't contact me again."


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#11 Manic Maverick

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 05:49 PM

Just tell him he's coming on too strong and you'd prefer he left you alone. If he still doesn't listen just block him. What phone do you have? You can block numbers on Android phones.



#12 Breebree93

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 06:00 PM

It's a 99 cent US Cellular...it's strictly for texts and calls. I'm thinking just ignore him for a while...if that doesn't work I'll go with what BlueChick suggested. 


You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again
~Pink Floyd


#13 Tree

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 06:15 PM

Tell him what you are saying here...albeit more diplomatically.  It's a good thing you can recognize that he is living in fantasy land. I would always be wary of someone who wants to rush in, especially before having even met in person.  

 

 "Well, will you be my one and only." Well...the answer to that is no, I'm not his at all. 

 

 

If he doesn't respect your boundaries after you tell him what they are and back off,  I would be taking steps to sever contact.


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#14 LunaRufina

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 06:28 PM

How about "I have boundaries and you are crossing them, so back up"?

"...what you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”

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#15 Sparkle

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 07:32 PM

Tell him what you are saying here...albeit more diplomatically.  It's a good thing you can recognize that he is living in fantasy land. I would always be wary of someone who wants to rush in, especially before having even met in person.  

 

 "Well, will you be my one and only." Well...the answer to that is no, I'm not his at all. 

 

 

If he doesn't respect your boundaries after you tell him what they are and back off,  I would be taking steps to sever contact.

 

 

All of this.  Someone who is moving that fast is bad news. 



#16 Guest_Recluse_*

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 07:53 PM

Red flag.  Don't give this person an inch.



#17 LunaRufina

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 08:21 PM

I've been doing the online dating thing.
I was texting a guy for a while but made it clear that I'm really uncomfortable on the phone and didn't want to talk on the phone at that point.

He called anyway. I was sleeping and didn't realize it was him so answered the phone. He said he "just wanted to hear my voice".

This is a CLEAR violation of boundaries that i specifically set.
I told him not to contact me again and deleted/blocked him.

On the other hand, you don't want to be the bad guy here. But you aren't if you are establishing boundaries. I don't get the impression you have told this person to knock it off. But they suck because they can't read your mind, apparently?

"...what you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”

― Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council"


#18 Breebree93

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 08:38 PM

No, I told him to back off. I told him I didn't like all the attention...and I've started ignoring his texts because he didn't let off. 


You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then the one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again
~Pink Floyd


#19 Guest_Vapourware_*

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Posted 06 March 2013 - 08:38 PM

a) Let him know you are uncomfortable.

b) If he doesn't stop, it's time to end the "friendship". 

 

Friendships are about mutual respect and comfort. Both people should feel respected and comfortable. If that's not happening, then there is something seriously wrong.

 

Sometimes you have to establish your boundaries. I know that can be scary but sometimes you really have to tell someone that they are making you uncomfortable. Otherwise their behaviour will continue. 

 

Other points:

 

c) Do not give your number out freely.

d) Do not give your name out freely.

e) Be careful about showing photos of yourself. 



#20 WinglessFaery

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Posted 07 March 2013 - 12:52 AM

I have been in this exact situation. I eventually just made sure never too answer or respond or whatever..he eventually got it.

I had a hard time because I cant be mean too people without feeling guilty. But I realized I had already told him too not be creepy anymore and he didnt respect that so I didnt owe him anything
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