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  2. It's scary. But being honest with your therapist helps you. No one goes into therapy ready to talk about their deepest thoughts. It's a process. Think of it like layers. A lot of us have thoughts of death and other obsessive compulsive thoughts. I tried to be as honest as I could with both therapist and pdoc. It sounds trite but they have heard everything. The meds part is another process. It can take a while to get the right meds. Remember everyone is trying to help you. welcome to Crazyboards!
  3. i miss poddy :(

    *pees and spins*

    (it's not the same, i'm a chick. damnit...janet *cries*)

  4. i miss poddy :(

    *pees and spins*

    (it's not the same, i'm a chick. damnit...janet *cries*)

  5. Yesterday
  6. I know people are watching me through the mirrors in my house. They've been watching forever. When I look I can see all the men in suits and then they're gone. They're going to do something drastic soon I know it.
  7. I'm so sorry everyone. Your tributes are lovely. Pod remains alive forever in your hearts. ♡
  8. I'm super nervous about therapy tomorrow. We're going to do an exposure surrounding my car OCD (looots of checking). I've been so unstable mood-wise the past two years that OCD treatment was put on the backburner. Now I need to pull myself together and start exposures again. Anyone else go through this?
  9. Ahhhhh! Gardens! Must have huge garden using some method I read about on the internet!! Good God! Am I glad it is all grass now. I didn't lay hardwood, but I did strip the carpet from everywhere and took months refinishing the floors. I actually started by hand sanding. It took me awhile to realize I needed to rent a huge sander thing. My family finally rebelled (I had made them remove all the furniture from the main rooms to the basement and didn't let them walk on the floors for months) and made me stop when I was on the final coating of finishing the floor and so parts of my entry way only got one coat and is noticeably more warn.
  10. http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1517/17460441.2016.1160051?src=recsys Skimmed through it..misread... It does say 30 x more potent then Prozac
  11. I'm glad you have it back ... I freak out if I don't have internet for more than a day.
  12. I think that because you have a new pdoc who you didn't suggest any diagnosis with ... that is kind of a 2nd opinion in itself. Plus with the IP diagnoses, it seems to me like the diagnosis is an accurate one. (My opinion anyway).
  13. It's great that you found a new doctor that you like! It makes such a difference.
  14. Thanks for your reply. I guess I don't feel the need for a 2nd opinion because every time I am hospitalized I get dx with SZA...so I guess it is just now validated with my new pdoc being on board. Oh and I didn't even suggest any diagnosis to her, because I wanted to see what she would see accurately fit.
  15. IMO ... I think all MI has a stigma, no matter what your diagnosis is.
  16. For me it just happened. There wasn't one thing that led to another that lead me to believe my thoughts were being read. It was with both people and things like the TV.
  17. Thanks for your feedback! Yes, I do know the diagnostic differences and know the psychosis is just as bad in both conditions. I guess what I was meaning was the stigma around having a psychotic disorder.... But I agree, it is better to have a closely accurate dx, I am sure remission relies greatly upon being on the correct treatment.
  18. Viibryd is an "SMS" (serotonin modulator and stimulator) aka "SPARI" (serotonin partial agonist and reuptake inhibitor), same class as Trintellix (SMS). It achieves 100% SERT occupancy at 10 mg?! Where did you see this?
  19. I can empathize. When I was diagnosed with SZA, I did not accept it. I scheduled a 2nd opinion. Never went to the 2nd opinion DR (reasons). The diagnosis just took a lot of time to accept, and I finally did when things started getting better with the meds. I had a very hard time with it though.
  20. Yes, I can't find any information about it, but I have read that weight-loss doctors will use fluoxetine along with phentermine to potentiate the phentermine and therefore the weight loss effects. My mom was on phentermine 37.5 mg and her doctor put her on fluoxetine and ramped it up to 80 mg to potentiate it, and she lost a lot of weight on that combo. Yes, some SNRIs like Effexor, Pristiq, and Cymbalta can cause weight loss. I experienced weight loss on Pristiq and Cymbalta, no weight loss or gain on Fetzima, and actually weight gain on Effexor, strangely enough.
  21. Ashley, you are dealing with a lot of scary things. I think we are all kind of scared of the new president and cancer is probably the worst fear of anyone. It's understandable that you are scared. But please don't take on guilt. And don't let other people's pain weigh on you so much that it brings you down. Take care of yourself first and foremost and without any guilt whatsoever. I'm sorry you feel alone. At least here there are a lot of people who understand how you feel.
  22. Don't be afraid to tell your doctors how you are feeling. You will not be locked up or anything like that. In fact, you won't even be hospitalized unless you are an immediate danger to yourself or others. That really sets the bar high so as long as you are not planning suicide in the next few days, don't worry about it. We ALL have thoughts of death. That unfortunately goes hand-in-hand with mental illness. If people get locked up for having thoughts of death then half the country would be locked up. It's nothing to worry about, but I do understand that it is scary if you haven't been to a therapist before.
  23. Precisely what I was going to suggest. I agree with @melissaw72 totally. You need to be honest. You can't get help with your problems if you aren't honest. There's nothing to be gained from withholding things.
  24. Properly, all schizoaffective disorder bipolar-type means vis-a-vis bipolar I disorder with psychotic features is that you get psychotic symptoms in normal mood; plain old bipolar I disorder with psychotic features is just as psychotic, it just means that psychosis only occurs in the context of a mood episode. Of course I assume you already know this. The main implication of this is that psychotic symptoms need to be treated as themselves rather than just through treating mood symptoms. But if one is already on a mood stabilizer, an antipsychotic, and an antidepressant I do not see what would necessarily change. So then it comes down to just one feels about the dx itself, and I do not know what to say there. All in all, it is better to have a dx that more closely fits one's symptoms because then one's symptoms are more likely to be treated effectively (e.g. by trying to treat psychosis rather than just mood), which is my thought on the subject.
  25. Well, for me, a FWB situation would be very difficult because when you have sex with someone you are pretty much totally vulnerable, and once you have shared that vulnerability you feel like the relationship is special and it's very difficult to view it as merely a FWB. But I realize that is just me. There are others who are into it I'm sure. Getting over a break-up is tough, and I'm sorry you are going through this.
  26. The antypicals and i tend not to get along though I need them. Most of them have given me some sort of EPS except for seroquel, zyprexia (which after i stopped taking all my friends said that i had i turned ito a zombie) and saphris (which is not covered by insurance where i live...). Risperdol is the only one I havent tried. Does it cause EPS? I wish I could continue on with seroquel but after ECT my brain chemistry changed and know i can take 50 mg and go to yoga class. True story. Ugh.
  27. Got my land line (and internet) back after losing it last Thursday.
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