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About koa

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    the big rock candy mountain
  1. I think antipsychotics can be a life saver but think that the idea of staying on a daily dose long term is maybe not the one-size-fits-all solution for psychosis it's cut out to be often by cautious doctors, especially because AAP's have significant side effects often. I think you have a lot of insight and self awareness which helps, too. One thing that's been helpful to me is to have some of my old meds to use as PRN... I've worked this out with my pdoc when Latuda stopped being covered on my insurance. She gave me samples to use PRN and in the last two years i've only done that once... but I think there's a chance it may have prevented a psychosis since there were some warning signs. I think that this may be a good course sometimes since you know the medication works, I don't know.
  2. I love the old photos... did olga ever consider joining a commune? Babboo looks pensive in that photo... my dad had (has) a moustache from that era and possibly the same vest, so it seems familiar somehow.
  3. Good to hear from you. I like the way the hair highlights your salt and pepper color.
  4. I'm glad you made the change to Vyvanse. It's got to feel good to get that off your chest and to have taken action.
  5. That might be weird with fuzzy saying he's your hubby. I know a caseworker who pretended to be one of her patient's sisters in order to be able to advocate for her to get asthma medication. It can be difficult. Hope you get through March break with relative ease.
  6. Somebody recently was vehemently trying to argue to me that a delusion of someone following him was real. He said, "have you ever heard the phrase, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean it isn't real?" My response, though, was that it doesn't mean it is real, either. I guess that's a problem, though... there are "bizarre delusions" which are impossible or very unlikely... and then there are non-bizarre ones which might even be true. One thing I also ask myself is motivation... what would this person's motivation be, for instance, to go to elaborate means just to fuck with me? Like, I'm an asshole sometimes but I haven't gunned down a village of orphans or something, either, nor am I a villain in the Count of Monte Cristo... I haven't done anything to cause someone to want to go to such elaborate means to mess with me. I generally kind of put a lot of my psychotic delusions "in a box" of things that aren't really useful to me. I do occasionally sort through the box... generally I arrive at the idea that the delusion may have been a sort of indication of a fear or anxiety that I have, even if the idea itself is not literally true. For instance one common delusion I can have is that I'm experiencing the apocalypse... but the delusion is indicative of larger anxieties I have about how we treat the environment and how that may impact things in the future, instead of some mystical experience or something like that.
  7. People dream up pretty elaborate systems to defend their delusions. YTS, your argument is a fantastic example of how seductive psychotic delusions seem. I think current understanding of how mental illnesses work may be incomplete, but I'm pretty sure there is not a whole lot of (any) concrete, non-speculative evidence that entities in another dimension are selectively inserting thoughts/ideas/images into psychotic people's minds (also, why? just to fuck with them? those assholes!) Although that might make a good plot for a science fiction movie. Do you think Will Smith or Tom Cruise would be cast in the lead? YTS, I don't know if your intent was to be validating to cheesecake with the idea that these disturbing ideas/voices cheesecake is having aren't his fault or something to feel guilty about... that's true, though. I'm inclined to think it is because they're the manifestation of mental illness, myself, instead of as the result of asshole aliens in another dimension. By the way, that's the focus of this site... peer support from those experiencing mental illness to one another. If you don't identify your thoughts as a mental illness or if you want to write about speculation on ideas related to science/science fiction, etc. then maybe another site would be good for you. Or you might enjoy watching The History Channel at 3 AM. Cheesecake, we have thoughts and that doesn't mean that they're true or that we should act on them... What are you doing to help the voices quiet down?
  8. Sounds great. I'm a bit jealous.
  9. I went to the grocery tonight. It was deserted. Amazing. Also, yeah, chips and salsa have been on sale which is also a plus. Nachos... mmm.
  10. Yes, especially in Florida. I once heard a statistic that some large portion of drivers in FL at any time are high on pain pills. It's terrifying! My rear tail light has been out because I cracked the plastic casing and water is leaking in... the part has been on backorder for close to a month now... and meanwhile I'm still driving at night without a tail light.
  11. Yay, manatees! I miss that about Florida, as well as the birds.. I think the most exciting ones I saw down there were wood storks like in your photo, rose spoonbills, ospreys and bald eagles (near a state park called payne's prairie) Oh, and I saw a lot of barred owls when I was down there... my user icon is from a photo I took of one. Oddly, though, I noticed there weren't a lot of the song birds I'd been used to or things like cardinals, robins or that sort of thing. I also saw SO MANY SNAKES and lizards down there.
  12. creatively interpreting social situations, heh... i do that too. yes, the anti-government programs people have mad it pretty difficult for a lot of people. it's terrible... and might become worse after the next election!
  13. One thing I have to remind myself is that being somewhat overweight and active/eating relatively well still makes me pretty healthy... the numbers on the scale aren't necesarily the only factor. Although it can be more difficult to feel comfortable in one's skin sometimes if you're not super thin. Happy birthday! Skiing sounds good... finally some snow? Or is that just in the states?
  14. The idea that depression may be related to dopamine instead of/in addition to serotonin has merits... in fact that is the science behind how the pharmaceutical drug buproprion/wellbutrin works! Perhaps if you're interested in something that targets dopamine you might ask your pdoc about buproprion... a benefit would be that the doses can be regulated and measured. I don't know how it would work with your bipolar/psychosis symptoms... again it is a discussion to have with your doctor. Being that this is your first and only post it is difficult to tell whether or not this is some kind of spam designed to sell the herb you are mentioning...