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About mellifluous

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  1. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    I have some anxiety about IOP. I have to speak with the psychiatrist to get my meds refilled as they only gave me a fourteen day supply at discharge from IP and that means I'll run out Friday. The IOP psychiatrist is hard to get a read on. She has no facial expressions.
  2. I got pregnant naturally at forty (but of a surprise actually) and gave birth to a healthy small girl at forty (then turned forty-one a couple of months later) i have read that there's a hereditary component and if women in your family conceive and successfully deliver late in life, you are more likely to be able. This is very true in my family.
  3. Yes, I have. Did you check the links in that blog entry? I need to look over it some more and I'm talking with my psychiatrist on Wednesday to get his input. I want to do more digging before I post that but there definitely appears to be more women with mood disorders getting ppp, but I'm unsure the risk of ppp for the average women with a mood disorder I hope that made sense I'm just now waking up so tell me if it didn't If you a source you could share I'd love to look it over and include it. Cheers!
  4. yes to all of this! exactly....exactly the problem... i fear them and they fear me and i fear for them and they fear for me...but nobody can just have a conversation instead of being overwhelmed... my small girl is awake, but i wanted to read and comment quickly. talk soon xx
  5. I take clozaril now and I would definitely get some sound medical advice before switching to it with the intention of getting pregnant.
  6. I write a blog entry on postpartum disorders and found information on postpartum ptsd. It's some that affects 9% of women so you're totally not alone. Here's the entry: I hope it helps xx
  7. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Nervous. Lots of anxiety about seeing in laws so soon after a hospitalization. It's only 8:00 AM so abut early to start the PRNs but my morning Ativan isn't chipping away at this at all.
  8. I hope residential goes well, aura im going up to Marin to see in laws. They're aware of my most recent hospitalization and I hope they don't bring it up. Dare to dream. V anxious.
  9. wait...someone called you "benzo shakes"? that person is a dick.
  10. i also don't work, but i have a small girl and suspect people think i'm a stay-at-home mum. really i've been deemed "permanently and completely disabled" by schizophrenia. i think the reason it matters to me to at least try and have some....if not friendships, then at least casual friendly acquaintances, is that i don't want my child to be the kid whose mum is bonkers. or somehow be left out because i can't seem to get on with non-MI mums, if that makes sense...?
  11. how's that working for others? i'm getting to this point where people who don't have mental illness maybe aren't sustainable actual friends for me. the thing is, though, my partner ...i've been with him for almost fifteen years (will be fifteen years in july, married for eleven)...has no diagnoses. and not like he's undiagnosed but has MI...he's got a little social anxiety, but nothing diagnosable. he doesn't "get it" in the way that some of those posting in the SZ section or commenting on my blog entries get it...but he's not perpetuating stigma against mental illness either and he's super supportive. i don't know if it's because i'm getting older and less able (or have less patience) to put up with people who really don't get it or if it's that i have so little time for friendships now that i have a small girl that i can't put the effort in to explaining why telling me "when i get sick of taking pills that cause suicidal thinking" is fucking idiotic and super irresponsible. i have so few friends left, thanks to this ailment of mine, that i don't want my in-the-flesh support to dwindle further, but i'm having a hard time seeing how being friends with people who aren't mentally ill is even possible. can anyone relate? x
  12. prozac for OCD

    i think that's available but i've not done it. thank you so much for the well wishes! i wish you the best, too! x
  13. prozac for OCD

    what's wild is that i usually can't (i have schizophrenia), but i think the strength of the zyprexa-clozaril combo is making it possible. my most recent inpatient psychiatrist put me on prozac (switched me off zoloft) only because i'm not a good candidate for chlomipramine. i might be misspelling that...but i've read that it's the best one for OCD, but its side effect profile leaves something to be desired, so it might not be a good choice for you either.
  14. prozac for OCD

    goodness, sorry your practitioner endured that and had to cancel. glad to hear you can make it until monday and i hope they find something useful to try. x
  15. prozac for OCD

    wow! i'm sorry to hear that 20 mg has had such a detrimental effect on you! can you talk to a psych nurse today?