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About HAL9000

  • Rank
    Whats wrong with me?
  • Birthday April 4

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    In the infamous Hipster HQ - Minneapolis (burbs), Minnesota
  • Interests
    Computer Science, Making original Music, Solutions to health issues. My RX8 Midlife Crisis mobile.

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4179 profile views
  1. random thoughts!

    My favorite dog(s) were Samoyds. I had an insulated Dog House which went unused. Although she did block the front for a non arctic dog that would run into it if I left them out anymore then a few minutes.
  2. random thoughts!

    This is probably over simplification but I think a significant number of people don't believe in Evil. People with MI does not = Evil people. Are some both? Of course but some guy who is cheating on his wife and murders her could be "rational" correct? Its not right. Its wrong. Its Evil shit. MI as a blanket excuse for every bad thing people do is just wrong. How many people with MI do we know that couldn't hurt a fly? I think the sanity defense is simply someones inability to know right from wrong? Is it mental illness to think self castration and killing yourself is evil? Mental Illness? or just stupidity? I think you could make a case for any or all of the above. MI btw is often getting mixed up with being stupid which I think is a very poor assumption. A lot of people who are very smart drive themselves a bit over the edge. I'm sure you can all think of examples.
  3. random thoughts!

    If they aren't arctic type (like Samoyds or Huskey) I wonder why the owners aren't jailed. If they really are arctic dogs that have developed winter fur? Thats different.
  4. I've been on it for a fair length of time. No side effects to report. It seems to help raise the floor where depression goes from me being functional to being a mess. LIke it just doesn't let it reach the danger zone. I've lost and gained weight but I think thats more from Anxiety problems.
  5. What do you take to sleep?

    Tried the sleep hygene thing and the laptop IS a problem. I have Ambien CR back on the formulary but GDoc is (I think) waiting for my yearly physical to talk meds? Anyway I've been using the Valium which I would rather save for Anxiety overloads.
  6. I really shouldn't comment too much about selection of meds and such since I'm not even close to knowing what I'm talking about. I do take a combo and without all three I think I would be fairly screwed up. Chronic pain stuff (I think) is a good reason to see a doctor that is focused on just that. And "fuzzy thinking" is a term that frankly scares me. Mine was bad. Like REALLY REALLY bad. To the point that I had to just stop my car and get out and walk because I couldn't remember (Don't laugh too hard) how to stop it. Like which foot does what so I ended up punching it and slamming on the brakes which is great if your a teenager trying to do a burn out but.. All I wanted to do was not run over someone. The pain thing for me took some surgery after a number of well thought out tries with various injections etc. For mental health I had to be put on a couple different things to find ones that worked together and took care of two things. Three pills for one problem. The waiting for the anti depressants to kick in really was the most difficult part for me. It "seemed" like it had to get to the point where I was sure they weren't going to ever work and then... They just did but its never a magic BLAMO your not depressed. Its more of a "Hummm... Today seems to be going ok. Whats going on?" Oh yeah these pills I've been taking for 5 weeks. Maybe thats it? Subtle stuff... The anxiety stuff which is so much more in my face and really messing up my day seems those drugs start working really fast. Benzos (For my whenever everything else isn't working) take maybe 10 15 minutes and I can feel that change. Buspar which I guess is really hit or miss from what others say is more like the subtle makes me functional drug so I guess I'm one of the lucky ones that it has some effect on.
  7. I had the worst reaction to lyrica for pain. It just totally screwed up my thinking so I was having difficulty operating my car. I had trouble understanding people and anyway... I'm the small percentage who the drug is really REALLY bad for. I take Wellbutrin myself and I had to go to the highest dose for it to work. I think there are three things. Try a drug. Give it 6 weeks to kick in and if its not working increase the dose. If you top out at the maximum dose and its not working try another drug. Adding a drug to one that doesn't work makes no sense to me but... I didn't got to medical school so what I say is just personal experience. The waiting 6 weeks thing was the hardest part. The finding a drug that worked for depression but had too many side effects and having to switch sucked. However... The end result is (I think) worth it. If a drug works I think going off it should be done only under careful examination of the effect. My impression is a lot of people feel better on some medication then just stop because they are "ok" *I don't know what that had to do with anything. Just something on my mind.
  8. I have my GDoc do the meds. She is very scientific about it and follows up so I feel better since she knows me. The PDoc she had me see to double check everything didn't do therapy and thought she was doing an excellent job except one time when he and I agreed Valium was a better choice then Xanax. He said the short acting strong affect made it a popular drug to abuse and that depending on it was less likely since it didn't last very long. I guess just saying he felt it was the "worst" says enough. Anyway I saw a PDoc before him and she got really uptight about me assuming she did therapy. She was just there to write prescriptions. So you walk in and have a DX - her job was to be the pill o matic. I "fired" her. *She was kinda nasty and who needs that regardless of what type of doctor you see?
  9. Hi Seal. Its good to see you since chat was shut off I never "talk" and I miss it. If your depression is bad (Yours sounds very bad) I would run (Not walk) to my GDoc and make it a plan to find something to deal with it that I could take daily. My depression got bad enough that I wasn't functional. Everything everyday was just a suckfest or shit. I've only tried two antidepressants and both eventually did work. I say eventually because it took many weeks for them to kick in. I wouldn't think taking on for a couple days would have any effect? Anyhow when they have kicked in I can still feel blue or upset but I think the meds keep me from flooring out. I think we talked about this in chat? Anyway I'm not sure I have anything of value to say on the gender issue other then this. If its important (Which I'm guessing it must be) and you don't address it you have a weight to carry along with the depression. Or could the two be connected? I don't know anything but just me thinking out loud. I have a friend who said she had problems with it like this. She got married (Born Male) it felt totally wrong (Divorced) so she assumed she was gay and tried to live that way and that wasn't any better. Someone had to suggest what the core issue was and anyway she did therapy and hormones and surgery and the last time we talked she was married to "mr wonderful" and things went "right" for her. I don't know if she was every taking antidepressants but by how miserable she felt I think a good case could have been made for to talk to an expert and see what that could do. I hope you find some peace and feel better. *Have a fish!
  10. It was hot and humid yesterday so all I did was fiddle with my car and managed to work up a sweat. I don't think that counts.
  11. Valium vs xanax

    I've tried both. Xanax is like "pow" but it wears off so quickly that I didn't find it too be that great. PDoc said he hates Xanax because in his opinion that "pow" is what makes people like using it too much. The short lived part of it naturally makes them want to take it more often and then you have someone with a problem. That not only scared me but I frankly thought its worthless to have an anxiety attack and chill it out for a tiny amount of time (Then it comes back) So... Valium. To me at the dose I take it kind of leaves me feeling normal. If I'm having a panic attack and take a Valium its not like POW your feeling doped up for a little while its more like "Wait? Wasn't I freaking out a little while ago?" Oh... Thats why God invented Valium. I told my TDoc about a particularly bad time and how that seemed like a Valium worthy time and she "BLANK Yeah"
  12. Tell me something good?

    Our anchient kitty got out of the back yard for the first time since I catproofed it. But the neighbors spotted her and kept her inside until we saw a facebook message "Friendly cat found" However... Somehow they understood she was our cat and thought she was an outdoor cat but.... We found her back in our yard (Excaped back into the yard??) wet and cold but ok. She purred loud enough that you could hear it! *She is a quiet one in the purring department but an air raid siren when its time for a can of stinky cat chow.
  13. I had anorgasmia with the first drug. Switched to Wellbutren and I think it helped us stay togeher.
  14. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Possibly betrayed and having some anxiety that is valium worthy. I really wnt it to kick in its 3AM
  15. losing weight- any ideas?

    My Endo put me on a diet that worked. "The Man Diet" is where you eat protean within an hour of waking up. Eggs, meat etc. Thats it. If you can handle extra try to make breakfast the big meal. Lunch just whatever and Dinner attempt to make that the smallest meal. If you can handle a third thing try to stop eating at 6 pm. ie no 9PM dinner. If you just do the first thing (And your male) this should work. Its all about metabolics. If your female there are some diets that work and the one that is the easiest is the "Yes Diet" I don't remember the particulars but I think its something like this. 8 cups of water a day and 30 grams of fiber. Whatever you do for breakfast, lunch and dinner is up to you. The same Endo said this was the easiest diet because it doesn't forbid things and its not an annoying count calories run on treadmills all day thing. One thing that I personaly advise is to not weigh yourself all the time. Both of these diets are slow but sure. Weighing yourself everyday will just cause a lot of anxiety because its not a loose 10 pounds in a week thing. It is a loose weight at a safe steady rate and not have to ruin your body with those diets that go up down up down in weight. Plus no Zoomba required! I think its helps to do something physical. But has nothing to do with diet. Treadmill for half an hour (Or work up to that) and try to do it 3 or 4 times a week. Yes, its boring. This is where earphones and a phone full of music or talk radio or whatever comes in handy. It makes the time fly.