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About sonicwhite

  • Rank
    The great unknown
  • Birthday 04/01/1985

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  • Gender
  • Location
    In your neck of the woods.
  • Interests
    I love Ministry. I have a passion to do the will of God. There is nothing in this world that can fill that hunger....I'm going back to school and I'm not making any excuses.....I love my cat's. Yes I am a cat man......

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  1. Guys. I’m humbled by the Lord. I feel like I’m the worst. There are are too many self righteous Christians who prevent ppl from growing in Christ because they show what they bend delivered of and boast in the self confidence. When i I first can to Christ I thought He chose me because of something good about me. No! It was because of His great love and mercy I see the world the way it should be. Im not even worthy to lift my eyes to the heavens because of my unworthiness. Folks if I ever come across as arrogant I’m sorry. Im trying to weed out the ppl who boast in themselves. Lord have ave mercy of this sinner.
  2. It’s legal here where I live but not everywhere. I’m not in klonopin anymore so I deal with anxiety all day everyday. Right now all it it does is take the anxiety away. I don’t believe it’s wrong but if it was illegal where I live then I would consider it bad for you. I don’t want anyone to follow in my footsteps. I just do what I have to to survive.
  3. I’m fine. I can’t preach here so I don’t have any ground or Authority to speak. I will I’ll just let it go.
  4. I’m sorry for preaching. I know we all suffer from Mental illness. I hope we all can recover one day.
  5. Lord, please take it all away. The pain it causes makes me wish I could fade away. Please understand folks im out of love and unconditional compassion that I want you to see the true light. Unfortunately I can preach here but if any of you have questions feel free to PM me. Can’t preach.
  6. No I never said it was a cure for M I. I do believe in DSM5 diagnosis. I feel as tho I just can’t get ppl to see what I experienced. I want them to share in that same joy. Jesus talked about in a parable do not throw your pearls to ppl because they will stomp on them then tear you to peace’s. I don’t go on and o. Im trying to love. I’m trying to fulfill my duty as a Christian. Whether you’re Christians Jew or Muslim I want you to know that I love you. That I want you to come see what I see. Im not allowed to preach on here so I can’t stand on any ground but please just know God Loves you!
  7. I feel so cut to the heart by non believers when I try to show love instead of hate. All i I try to do is show them that there is a better way. That you can be free from drug addiction or whatever addiction has you. When others respond and say say we don’t believe in God and just leave me alone, I feel so bad. Like all I want is for them to experience that peace and joy that comes from giving your life to God. I know many of them have been hurt and blame God. Some don’t want to experience pain I’f they feel if heaven is true than maybe a love one is not there. I get it. I understand. But the most wonderful experience happens when you give your life to God. God knows had to help you handle your pain. I know He sure helped me when I was in the pit of remorse and felt no love, He loved me thru it all and put a new song in my mouth. Its not not my job to convict ppl of sin. It’s the Holy Ghost job to do that. As a believer I’m to love one another. I just wished I wasn’t cut so bad by so many.
  8. Everything

    Gear head. I just realized what happened to me. I was disciplined by God. I gave my life to Him when I was 16. I rebelled against God all the way up to 21 when I gave my life back to Him. I will say say that when I almost died I saw the most evil spirits I could imagine. After it I was in jail detoxing and saw a light I cannot describe. I saw angels and other things that indicated God is real. Ive been called to ministry. I believe in mental illness. I believe that God will restore His divine plan for my life.
  9. Everything

    Hello gearhead. I’m so much better now. It all makes sense!
  10. Everything

    I’m not in therapy yet. I had a near death experience and it has haunted me. Im faithful I’m going to heaven because I know the one in whom I believe. I tried to commit suicide in 05. I saw so many things that indicated that God is real. Im thankful for the experience yet I have to work at it to heal.
  11. Everything is just becoming so overwhelming. The anxiety. The flashbacks. The feeling I’m not going to make it to heaven. All of it. It is just becoming so hard. I believe the doc is willing to help me but she wants to test out other meds before we start a benzo. Ptsd has probably got to be the worst disorder there is. I have had a drug induced psychosis. I have battled addiction in the past. I have a moment of victory over the gabapentin. All it does is take the edge off. I have to be very careful with how I use it. I just wish all this this could be taken away. I don’t want to do this but I’m willing to work at it to get better.
  12. He wasn’t a saint. But somethings stand out with him and at least it was a good work and not a Hitler.
  13. Ya I kinda understand where you’re coming from. I realized this in inpatient. He had a wealth of power and used his ministry to try to show ppl what he was going thru. I battle a psychotic disorder and influences like that really triggered me.
  14. You have Gods Word. The Ultimate Authority.