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About sonicwhite

  • Rank
    The great unknown
  • Birthday 04/01/85

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  • Gender
  • Location
    In your neck of the woods.
  • Interests
    I love Ministry. I have a passion to do the will of God. There is nothing in this world that can fill that hunger....I'm going back to school and I'm not making any excuses.....I love my cat's. Yes I am a cat man......

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  1. Thanks jt. I knew something was going on
  2. When they reinstated my klonopin in IP I came back to reality. So why does a drug like a benzo do that to me?
  3. If I have this but I do often feel I'm in another dimension. The demonic realm to be exact. I keep thinking I died in 05 and this is all my Judgment. That God is mad at me. It's so hard to snap out of it. My pdoc just thinks I'm drug seeking. Ive had two known seizures and I have silent seizures at night. This is bs. I think someone should be held accountable for this. You just don't Ct ppl off of benzos.
  4. I think you're right jt. The lyrica is making me manic. Ugh. Wulp I'll tell the docs how I feel. And be honest and open.
  5. I was on Lyrica before I moved to TN. To me it is the best mood stabilzer.
  6. Lyrica helps sooooo much. It muxt be Bipolar as a mood disorder because Lyrica balances me out..
  7. I see them Monday. I'm going to ask if they could change the gabapentin to lyrica.
  8. Ok, I picked up an old script of lyrica and I know I'm not on it with my current doc but I needed something that would pull me out of the benzo withdrawal psychosis. So far I feel normal. Now I have gabapentin but my dad holds onto it because I had a seizure and the EMT counted them and saw I was abusing them. When hen I was on klonopin I had an addiction to lyrica/gabapentin. But as I've been dealing with the withdrawals I know lyrica eases them quite a bit. So just know I'm taking therapeutic doses to ease the mental anguish I've been in.
  9. Having a psychosis while being a Christian is like the hardest thing ever. I remember going through a psychosis in 05 and I was not nearly this anxious. Because I didn't have a full thought process on Salvation. Without going into preaching I think my anxiety is caused by the real sense of hell. That I could of ended up there. But when I was on klonopin I didn't feel like this. But I was in tolerance withdrawal anyways. Thanks guys.
  10. I'm having a hard time believing that I'm in reality. I feel the worst thing I can think of is happening. And I don't know how to avoid thinking I'm too late to being saved. I felt like I was a Christian but now I just don't know anymore. Im confused on the thoughts I have. I ruminate whether or not it's OCD or psychosis. I deal with both. I'm trying to get in to see the doc but I don't know how much more I can take of this grueling anxiety. I'm scared and I don't want to think about not being saved.
  11. Well when I went through the psychosis in 05 I didn't even know how to use the phone to call out of jail. I was totally gone. My assumption if they went through what I did you wouldn't be able to do much. Im not saying all ppl but I assumed that if someone is psychotic than they will have gone through the torcher I went through. I don't think I have much of a chance getting a benzo so I have to find other ways to cope.
  12. Ok, so I figured that I've been dealing with OCD ever since I had to drop klonopin cold turkey. my thoughts want to make me say I'm psychotic but I can go to the store and do all sorts of other things a psychotic person can't. My thoughts tell me I'm dead and this is some sort of afterlife. I go days saying to myself God loves me and wouldn't send me to hell. I just got a spike saying hell. So can anyone here help me? I feel that klonopin was that magic bullet and now I'm battling the thoughts of OCD all over again.
  13. Ok, I guess me using Ambien as a prn anti anxiety pill was getting me through a lot of the klonopin withdrawals. Now I told my dad and he locked them up. I have great sadness and grief come over my heart. My chest Feel empty. And it feels like there is a fire going on in my heart. I ruminate that this is my punishment for living a sinful life. That I'm dead to everything and without hope. When hen I was on k I didn't have these obsessions or did I constantly have grief. But I can't convince myself it's withdrawal when it feels so real. I have a hard time focusing on things and when I lay down I get body zaps which make me think I'm going to have another seizure. Im scared folks. I don't know what to do. I need the help but I feel I will never get it.
  14. I'm pretty sure I've been having these seizures for a long time. Nobody but my dad caught it and he freaked. I dont think it has anything to do with the klonopin withdrawal. Well it does but I'm not saying it's the sole reason for it. I really think I have a seizure disorder.