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About Cerberus

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  • Birthday 12/29/66

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  1. phiddipus - Please take a moment to review the site's User Rules. Crazyboards is a first-person peer support site. This means that you are welcome and encouraged to talk about your experience and struggle with your own mental health all you want. We do not, however, allow inquiries about third parties. Regardless of whether this is an exact duplicate of a similar post, it is not acceptable content for the forum. Cerberus Moderator
  2. Actually, Rabbit, we have just the thing for news-o-philes. The second stickied post on our Depression Board is called Required Reading, and offers a set of news site links from around the world that provide news items on good news only. Check it out.
  3. I should say so indeed, since it isn't remotely funny, nor intended to be.
  4. survivingbp - From your account, it sounds as though the two of you have actually already weathered some of the trials that test many marriages, not the least the long-distance period, the moves and the job changes. Add to that the fact that you've both lived under the cloud of your MI. I take it that the MI is no secret, that he's fully aware of your condition? Does he have his own MI issues that he deals with? It also sounds as though you're already living with the logistics of marriage, such as the financials under your belts. If this is running smoothly, and you both feel that you have traversed the rapids of the other ups and downs you've faced so far well enough, the question that remains is: Are you willing to wake up to each other's morning breath for the rest of your lives? Are you willing to be in it for good? Because this is where you determine whether you've stuck it out out of love, or whether you've just been either too a) stubborn or b) lazy to change course when you realized you might not have made the optimal choice. Are you settling because this is an 'okay' situation that you've gotten used to and works well enough, or are you grabbing onto each other because Thank God You've Found The Person You Were Meant To Find? Think hard. Do NOT go into it, either of you, entertaining the slightest notion that this can be undone if it all goes south. Go into it understanding that this is For Good And All, and that you are going to make it work come Hell or high water. My ex and I dated for only six months. I approached it as I described in the last paragraph. She did not. It ended. We are still friends, but I do not recommend separation or divorce to anyone at all. I recommend getting it right the first time. It sounds like the two of you are pointed in the right direction. Now, if you can look one another in the eyes for a long while, and realize that, no, no one else would ever do, then I'd say you've probably waited long enough. Don't throw raw rice at the wedding. The pigeons will explode. Unless exploding pigeons are part of the celebration.
  5. As someone living with AIDS, allow me to invite you to shut the fuck up about things you know absolutely nothing about. I'm not going to sit here and let you spread ignorant stigma about HIV on our boards. You are on thin, thin ice with us, Nestor, and our tolerance for your nonsense is just about at an end. I strongly suggest that you focus your posts on questions about how best to find professional care.
  6. I repeat - there is no way that this fantasy of yours, if enacted, can do anything but make your life more miserable by an order of magnitude. Plus, given the state you live in, it's a reasonable conclusion that any aggressor will be at least as well armed as you are, and at least as willing to use that weapon. That suggests that by taking these long walks looking for trouble that the odds are actually higher that you'll get yourself killed than that you'll be able to defend yourself. It's utter foolishness. No on is going to give you any support for this; they're going to simply think you were an idiot for going out looking for a bad situation and someone to shoot. And they'll be right. Nestor, all of this makes it very clear that you need to be working with a care provider on addressing these issues, not trying mad schemes to address your inner demons yourself. Are you seeing a pdoc or a therapist? If so, please call them at once to make an appointment and explain all of this so that you can obtain the care you need before you do something that will destroy your life beyond any hope of improvement. If not, it is imperative that you seek out professional care immediately. If you are not under the care of a professional, there is little we can do for you here.
  7. Nestor - Your entire scenario suffers from a fatal logical flaw. If you commit such an act, one of two things will happen, as a matter of course: You will either a) be killed in the act either by yourself or by law enforcers, or b) be prosecuted and go on trial. There is no possibility that you can avoid one or the other of these outcomes. One or the other outcome has occurred in 100% of such cases. So let us examine each of these scenarios in relation to your stated goal of committing murder and yet enjoying the support of other people for having done nothing wrong without the risk of jail or trial. Scenario A: When you kill another human being, law enforcement authorities are legally bound to apprehend you, regardless of the circumstance, so that an inquiry can be made. If they are able to prevent the killing, they are legally bound to do that as well, and will kill you in order to prevent it. If a law enforcement officer commands you to put down your weapon, and you fail to immediately comply, you are subject to being killed regardless of the circumstance. If an officer is not present, and but attempts to arrest you after the fact and you resist, you are also subject to being shot as a suspected murderer. You may say that you would avoid this by killing yourself, but either way, your death would automatically preclude any net gain or positive reward from having committed the deed in the first place. Being dead, you would not be in a position to enjoy the support of anyone, nor would you be in any position to protest your innocence of wrongdoing, or justification for having committed the act. It would simply be assumed that you acted for criminal reasons, and you would be vilified and hated, posthumously, for all time. Scenario B: Assuming you are not killed, you will navigate the criminal justice system. This is unavoidable. Your assertion that you will have done no wrong rests on the highly dubious notion that someone will have assaulted or threatened you without provocation and that you will successfully employ the laws of your locality to "get away with" the act. The problem with this idea is that you are actively planning this, which means that you will have to provoke someone into giving you the pretext for killing them, which may nullify your defense under the law, and which will certainly give rise to a vigorous prosecution of you under the law. Your defense of this prosecution will be enormously expensive - that is the nature of our legal system. Moreover, unless you possess the means ready at hand to pay a substantial sum to secure a bail bond, you will be incarcerated to await trial. If the judge deems you to be a further threat to public safety, a flight risk, or a risk to your own safety, he or she may refuse the opportunity for bail at all, and send you straight to jail until you are tried. The result of this scenario is that even if you are (miraculously) not found guilty of murder and sentenced to the very real possibility of many years in prison for premeditated murder, you will emerge from the experience destitute and hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt to the courts and the legal establishment. You may also be sued separately by the victim(s)' relatives under civil law for restitution regardless of the outcome of the criminal case, and those suits would further destroy you financially simply by defending against them, assuming you could afford to do so at all. To sum up, your plan is idiotic. You will either die and get no benefit from it at all, or will unavoidably be either jailed, impoverished, or both. One other minor complication: You have been at pains to openly describe your plans on our public boards, which are Google-searchable. With such statements floating around the internet, there is no way whatsoever that you could prevail with a claim that your actions were not premeditated. There is no point in deleting them now; those posts have by now been archived in numerous places on the Net that are beyond your reach, and indeed, have been hardcopied by our staff. Simply by expressing these ideas publicly, you have placed yourself at risk of discovery and investigation by the FBI. Should we be approached for further information by the FBI, we will supply it; please review the User Agreement. Your best course of action at this point is to forget you ever thought about it.
  8. Apparently, this is an actual sign along a road in Newfoundland, Canada. Note that this can be read in more than one way - it can be read as a caution for motorists to be alert for children who have been allowed to wander into the road (?) and it can be read in an Autie-Children-Of-The-Corn / Autistic-Post-Apocalyptic-Mutant-Wasteland sort of way. Be sure to lock up your firearms and your encyclopedias. I just find this one puzzling. Is it saying that we're all "missing a piece"? If so, to the person responsible, I say fuck you sideways. Stick that in and see if it fits. Full disclosure: I make my living in graphic design, and other people's design idiocy makes me particularly crazy. Don't even get me started on quotation marks on signs, like when a store offers THE TOWN'S BEST "HAM".
  9. Generally these kinds of social interactions get built up over time. Obviously, someone has to to the initial asking. Then, if the encounter is agreeable, it's not uncommon for the asked party to reciprocate to indicate that they enjoyed it. If the initial party also enjoyed it, then they accept the return invitation. If both parties are sincere in their appreciation of the other's company, subsequent invitations follow naturally, but if one or the other party ends up doing all or most of the inviting, a sense of inequity can settle in because the inviting party may begin to question whether the invited party is still genuine in finding the inviter agreeable, or simply attending out of a sense of guilt or obligation. The inviter may begin to assume that the invited has stopped inviting because they no longer like the inviter. So, if you wish to be invited, you must accept that being an equal inviter is part of the equation - it is the way you show people you like and appreciate them, and desire their company enough to go to the trouble to host them. When you host them, you should go out of your way to offer hospitality that demonstrates your feeling; this will be reciprocated when it's your turn to be invited. If you don't invite, you can expect not to be invited, and, in time, you can expect it to be assumed that you are not a social person and excluded from the "social circle". If this sounds like an anthropologist talking, it's because I'm an Aspie that has stood outside the "social circle" most of my life, mostly by choice, and observed. People doing social things both fascinate and baffle me, but neither one enough for me to want to join in. (It never goes well if i try, anyway.) One thing I have learned, though, Psmith, and my situation is a single-man-workplace situation like yours, is that if you want to get plugged into the goings on, you have to simply insert yourself with your barriers down and let people see who you are, but don't ask for them to be interested in you. Be interested in them. No one turns down someone genuinely interested in them. Everyone's favorite topic of conversation is him- or herself. If you go in with the understanding up-front that it won't be about you for a while, and be ready to shrug off people not paying much attention to you right away, and stick with it, you'll become a fixture of their social circle simply by virtue of the fact that you're always there. If you focus on drawing people out of themselves, you'll get responses. Try to learn to be genuinely interested in them; people can be interesting. Just don't get discouraged and don't give up. If you don't get an invite to Mexican Night where all the other employees go, show up at the restaurant anyway and if it's too awkward to sit right down with them, sit at an adjacent table. Chances are, someone will suggest that you join them. The bottom line is, yes, you're going to have to take the initiative at first. Best of luck to you - and to them! You have plenty to offer them.
  10. And AGAIN, madmax, what's your point? Yes, regrettably, a very disturbed individual used firearms to commit senseless homicide - indeed, the largest such act in our nation's history. If you want a measure of how uncommon and unnatural this is for us, listen to the voices of shock, horror and disbelief from around the country. We are not a nation of people for whom this is an everyday occurrence; we are neither numbed nor hardened to this. We are sickened, grieved and infuriated by it, as would any people anywhere in the world. Oh, and by the way, the government of Myanmar is ethnically cleansing its Rohingya population as we speak. In southern Africa, human beings who are albino are hunted and killed because their body parts are thought to bring good luck. In Canada, police officers were just attacked by a man in a truck with an ISiS flag in it. In parts of the Arab world, women are subject to being killed by their parents for having "disgraced" the family. I could go on ad nauseam. The world is full of misery. Full to the fucking brim. Please explain how this rant of yours relates to a mental health issue, otherwise, you're just distressing people for no reason, and that's counterproductive to the reason we're all here.
  11. Rabbit37 - My son just got back from Ireland and said they have something there called "American soda" which is supposed to be the real taste of America. He said it tastes absolutely nothing like anything he's ever drunk at home.
  12. You know, I also think it ironic that a man using a username of Madmax, living in Australia, doesn't see how the impression that the mass media gives of a country doesn't always square with the truth. If the only thing I knew about Australia was what I had seen in Mad Max movies, I would never dream of visiting such a post-apocalyptic blightscape full of road-rage freaks, homicidal maniacs and serial rapists. Oh, and by the way, as I recall, the nation was founded as a penal colony, so there are sure to be people with criminal tendencies all over the place down there, right? And isn't it true that children can't play outdoors because they get eaten by dingoes? Stereotype much? In fact, no one of sensible mind believes any of that rubbish, any more than the idea that the country is populated by crocodile wrestlers who say "crikey" every other sentence. Do be sensible.
  13. What is your point, and what does it have to do with your mental health? Don't be absurd. Of course it isn't that bad. The news media don't cover the million acts of kindness, the thousands of uneventful, peaceful days on American streets, the everyday generosity, hard work, tolerance and good will of the American people because that doesn't sell the news. Bad news sells news, and the worse the better, so that's what they tell. Yes, there are daily shootings; this is a nation of over 325 million people that somehow manages to work as the most robust democracy on the planet despite being a mixture of humans from every race, nationality and religion in the world, and it would be unrealistic to expect al 325,000,000 of them to be model citizens. Of course there are rude people in some places. There are rude people around the globe, why should America be different? If you haven't yet figured out that a news feed isn't an accurate representation of daily life anywhere in the world, then you should get out more.
  14. Igoryok - Your posts on this forum regarding ECT have proven to be hyperbolic to the point that they no longer carry any credibility whatsoever. You know "many" people who have suffered from ECT? Personally? I think not. Regardless, your own personal experience is the only experience you can speak to with any relevance - the rest is only your opinion, which has manifested in previous threads as anti-treatment propaganda. The Moderating Team has taken note of it, and will not permit a repeat of this kind of fear-mongering that dissuades members from considering a proven effective treatment in consultation with their healthcare providers. You've had your say on the subject. Now leave it alone.