Cerberus

Inmate
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About Cerberus

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  • Birthday 12/29/66

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    The Abyssal Inn

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  1. TheIsland - Please carefully consider what Wooster has told you. There are several things to consider here: First, you must determine whether your therapist is, in fact, making actual sexual advances on you with intent. What evidence is there that brings you to this conclusion without any doubt? Is it at all possible that you have misconstrued some behavior of hers? Is it at all possible that your strong desire or need for someone to behave in such a way is affecting your perception? If these are possibilities, then you must take a step back and re-evaluate. Several factors argue against the idea that your therapist is doing so. 1) Such behavior is directly contrary to her professional training, her Duty of Care for you as a patient, and her professional code of ethics. 2) Such behavior is illegal, and she could face serious consequences as a result. 3) She is married, and swore vows to her husband. In order for you to accept that she is truly making advances on you with intent, you must accept that she is willing to abandon all the professional and personal vows she has taken, and risk serious legal consequences, including the loss of her livelihood, in order to have sex with you. This does not seem like a rational action on the part of your therapist. For the moment, however, let us assume that you have incontrovertible evidence of her intent, and every reason to believe that she does indeed plan to follow this unethical and illegal course of action. The question then arises, why would you want to have anything to do with such an unethical, self-destructive individual, who, if she's planning on doing this, plainly cares nothing whatever about your mental well-being? While the thought of enjoying the activity may be very tempting, you should also realize that there will be fallout. There is always fallout. 1) You will no longer have a therapist. Even if the two of you somehow managed to keep the affair hidden, it would fundamentally alter the patient-therapist dynamic, and it would be impossible afterward to benefit from therapy with her. 2) It is extremely likely that she will abandon you; and why not? A person willing to abandon her marriage vows would think nothing of leaving someone to whom she had no attachment. 3) In the aftermath of something like this, the difference between what you have said you yearn for, "closeness and love", and the adventurism of casual sex, is set off in stark and often dismaying contrast. I fear that you would, probably sooner rather than later, find that any closeness and love were fleeting at best; at worst, a tissue of lies used to lead you astray. Now, let us set the therapist aside for a moment and consider your ethics. You are aware that your therapist has a spouse, has an ethical bar to sexual relations with you, and could suffer serious legal consequences if she did so. You nonetheless indicate that you intend to go forward with it. Most of your post is taken up with arguments in which you attempt to rationalize this decision based on an observation that fate and other people have been unkind to you. From this you conclude that "it seems only obvious to live in the moment and take advantage of every possible situation" and care nothing about other people. This is a nihilist/Nietzschean perspective that, taken to its logical extent, ends with sociopathy and anarchy. You say that you fell like you are "a terrible person for this" – we are not here to stand in judgment on you. That's not what this site is for. But I would gently suggest that you posted here because something in your heart of hearts is telling you that no matter how much you reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally want to do this... it's wrong. There is a Better Angel of YourNature saying, "Don't do this, buddy, this is Trouble. Run far away." I think you already know it. I think you already know that even if you did it, you would feel like dirt later for having done it. I think you already know that it would all end badly, badly, badly, badly, and you would end up hurting worse than before. And it's your virginity, for God's sake. Save it for someone who actually loves you, or at least for a friend. Think hard, and be at peace.
  2. Cerberus here, my lovely ones. Being LGBTQ in a chaotic, hateful world is enough to make anyone crazy. Being LGBTQ+MI in such a world is asking a little much, in my opinion, which is why Crazyboards is so determined to keep a safe space open for those of us stubbornly determined to be who we are even though we aren't mainstream. We hope that you've found a haven here where you can feel free to talk, ask and share without fear of judgment, hate or stigma. We want to always be here for you. To make that happen, though, we need your help. Crazyboards relies on the financial support of its members to keep the lights on and the servers running. A couple of times a year, we host a modest fundraising campaign to make it easy for our members to contribute to keeping this Haven For Crazies, By Crazies, open. This year, we have the additional cost approaching of investing in a new chat client to replace the previous one, which is phasing out. We know that money is tight right now, and meds aren't getting any cheaper, but any amount you could spare would be so very much appreciated. Click Here to visit our GoFundMe campaign and make your generous donation to keep Crazyboards online, and thank you for being fabulous.
  3. Dearly Beloved - When God sent the Israelites into the Wilderness, he provided for their needs with a daily shower of mana from Heaven. Unfortunately, Crazyboards' servers run on electricity. We want to always be here for you. To make that happen, though, we need your help. Crazyboards relies on the financial support of its members to keep the lights on and the servers running. A couple of times a year, we host a modest fundraising campaign to make it easy for our members to contribute to keeping this Haven For Crazies, By Crazies, open. This year, we have the additional cost approaching of investing in a new chat client to replace the previous one, which is phasing out. We know that money is tight right now, meds aren't getting any cheaper, and there hasn't been a shower of mana since Nixon was elected to the White House, but any amount you could spare would be so very much appreciated. Click Here to visit our GoFundMe campaign and make your generous donation to keep Crazyboards online, and thank you.
  4. Eh? What? I wasn't sleeping - I was just in deep thought with my eyes closed! Cerberus here. Sorry to wake you. We know that sleep is precious, and we hope you've been able to find solutions to your problems with sleep here on Crazyboards. Finding a place where people with similar experiences can share their knowledge can go a long way toward turning a miserable night staring at the ceiling into a few hours of sweet oblivion. At least, that's the goal, and our hope. We want to always be here for you. To make that happen, though, we need your help. Crazyboards relies on the financial support of its members to keep the lights on and the servers running. A couple of times a year, we host a modest fundraising campaign to make it easy for our members to contribute to keeping this Haven For Crazies, By Crazies, open. This year, we have the additional cost approaching of investing in a new chat client to replace the previous one, which is phasing out. We know that money is tight right now, and meds aren't getting any cheaper, but any amount you could spare would be so very much appreciated. Click Here to visit our GoFundMe campaign and make your generous donation to keep Crazyboards online, and thank you. Once you've finished, you can go back to sleep.
  5. This is Cerberus. The Cerberus Little Wonderâ„¢ Analytic-O-Matic Positronic Brain gets a substantial benefit from sharing this space with all of you like-minded Autistics here on Crazyboards, and I hope that you find the same kind of benefit from coming here. We want this site to be a haven for you in a very neurotypical world. We want to always be here for you. To make that happen, though, we need your help. Crazyboards relies on the financial support of its members to keep the lights on and the servers running. A couple of times a year, we host a modest fundraising campaign to make it easy for our members to contribute to keeping this Haven For Crazies, By Crazies, open. This year, we have the additional cost approaching of investing in a new chat client to replace the previous one, which is phasing out. We know that money is tight right now, and meds aren't getting any cheaper, but any amount you could spare would be so very much appreciated. Click Here to visit our GoFundMe campaign and make your generous donation to keep Crazyboards online, and thank you.
  6. Cerberus here - Innkeeper of the Abyssal Inn, Gloommaster of the Perpetual Grey Cloud, Etc. Etc. We hope that Crazyboards is providing you a welcome place to lay down the heavy burden you carry and share the pain of your depression. We hope that you're able to get some rational perspective and positive uplift from rowing with others in the same boat here. And we hope that you value Crazyboards enough that you want to keep coming back. We want to always be here for you. To make that happen, though, we need your help. Crazyboards relies on the financial support of its members to keep the lights on and the servers running. A couple of times a year, we host a modest fundraising campaign to make it easy for our members to contribute to keeping this Haven For Crazies, By Crazies, open. This year, we have the additional cost approaching of investing in a new chat client to replace the previous one, which is phasing out. We know that money is tight right now, and meds aren't getting any cheaper, but any amount you could spare would be so very much appreciated. Click Here to visit our GoFundMe campaign and make your generous donation to keep Crazyboards online, and thank you.
  7. Bonnie - Welcome to CB. We're glad you're here. It sounds like you've got some experience to share, and I'll bet you can definitely help someone here. I'm hoping we can help you in return. The first thing I'll ask you is, do you actually want do die, or do you just want the pain to stop? I ask the same thing to all of our members who say they want to die, and I always get the same answer, because none of us who are depressed actually want to stop living. We just want to live without all the things that make life painful. Life can be better. Can we make a deal? Could we maybe start by agreeing to not call you white trash? (Hey, I grew up in Appalachian east Tennessee, I live in Appalachian central Kentucky, I've lived in a double-wide trailer, and I'm white as paste, so I can relate.) How about not even use the word 'trash' at all, because you're a human being and we already value you as an equal just because you're here and one of us. Agreed? Your husband obviously saw something in you worth marrying, and I'm betting his taste and judgment count for something or you wouldn't have married him back. So pull up a chair, ma'am. We're glad to have you at the table. Cerberus
  8. Cloudmonger - All things in moderation. Visiting the boars here and participating with other people online can certainly be therapeutic, and is a form of social engagement. There is nothing whatever wrong with that. Especially if it provides you with a sense of connection to other people of like mind, you should take advantage of the opportunity. If you find yourself doing it to the exclusion of other activities, or as a substitute for engaging people in your life, then that could be a sign that you should balance your online and offline worlds. While your husband may have entirely the wrong idea about how to go about dealing with your depression and social anxiety, I might gently challenge you to ask yourself: Is anything that he says true? Do you avoid meeting people? Do you avoid exercising? (God knows I do.) Is it possible that the extreme and overbearing way that he forces the point on you makes it too difficult to see whether there's anything useful in what he's saying? Take the exercise, for example (you have no idea what a hypocrite I am for saying this). It is universally accepted that exercise lifts mood and eases depression. It just does. That doesn't make it any easier to get started, or to do it on a regular basis, or God and His angels forbid, make it a habit. I laugh at the notion of exercising every day. Does laughing count as exercise? Maybe I'm not laughing - I haven't actually laughed in so long I forget. Anyway. The point is, you might decide to do something like exercise in moderation in a way that you find workable and suitable for you, without going the BOOYAH! route your husband seems to believe is necessary. So visit your forums reasonably and don't worry about it. And maybe take a walk later. Maybe.
  9. BLOSSOM - This is your first post, so I must assume you did not read the special rules at the beginning of the Spirituality Board. Proselytizing is forbidden here. You may not use this board as a platform to promote any form of religious belief over any other religious belief or lifestyle, and you may not pronounce or infer judgments upon other members, as you are not, in fact, a deity. The intent of your post is plain, to wag your finger at us for our temptation to sexual immorality. I shall, however, rather than hide your post altogether, remark upon its content: You have selected a series of Biblical verses from the New Testament of the Christian Bible, automatically limiting its applicability to a single faith; as other faiths also address the question of human sexuality (perforce), this necessarily raises some doubt as to whether the arguments made by your choice of scripture must be seen as a pan-human Truth. Even within a Christian context, your selections exclusively fall within the writings of Paul, whom Biblical scholars universally agree gave disproportionate attention to the question of sexual activity in the books authored by him. The reasons for this are debated, but it is generally considered (by those scholars charitable toward him) that his emphasis was about developing self-control in Christians and in the Church in an era when humans at large exercised rather little, and thus to set Christians apart from others, to be seen by the world as persons of self-control who could be trusted not to act in their own base (i.e., sexual) interests. I offer in this vein an interesting article on Paul and Sexual Sin. Others have argued that Paul's Judaic rabbinical training in Levitical law predisposed him to be hard-nosed about Old-Testament law, and sexual no-nos simply put a nest of bees in his bonnet - they also provided extremely handy comparisons for talking about things like a church worshipping idols being like a woman seeking other lovers than her husband. I myself, when young, paid a great deal of attention to Paul, with the result that when a dear friend at last, in an act of mercy, parted me from my virginity in my mid-20s, I was literally prepared to be struck by holy lightning. Waited for it. Couldn't understand why it didn't happen. I had spent years of my life from puberty all the way through my undergraduate study trying mightily to do the impossible task of not being a normal young human male, and I achieved it - and made myself a basket case in the process. Thanks a heap, Paul. At last I began to apply a little logic. God, you see, actually makes sense. We have a sexual drive because we were created with one built right in. It's supposed to work this way. It drives us to act. "Drive" - it's in the name, see? We were created to be particularly attractive to one another at a particular time in our lives, when the drive is strongest. Go figure. We occupy animal bodies. They do that. What kind of sensible Deity builds his creation in that kind of set-up and then says, "NOW GO FORTH AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING'S HAPPENING"? In fact, as I recall, the mandate was "GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY." Now, that obviously has its limits, and there are scads of excellent reasons not to live a promiscuous lifestyle that one might think just from biology alone, setting aside all of the sociocultural baggage, even if God hadn't thought of them first. But let's assume for a moment that you don't accidentally get pregnant/impregnate someone, end up with temporary or permanent VD, break someone's heart, unforgivably betray someone you truly love, destroy someone else's marriage, ruin someone's life, or get yourself killed by someone's enraged spouse/significant other, or become seriously injured or dead by some method too kinky to be mentioned in your obituary. The question that's really on your mind if you're reading this thread is: If I do IT with someone who isn't my spouse, am I going to burn in Hell for all Eternity? I don't know, but I very much doubt it. If one is really a Christian - as in, believes what Christ said - behave as you believe Christ would have behaved, and if you mess up, ask forgiveness. You'll get it 100% of the time, and you'll be saved by His grace. If you follow a different faith, look to the tenets of your faith that speak of the love of God, or Allah, or whoever are the gods who are your Universe, and of the nature of love between people, and live according to those teachings. Stop worrying about people who want to hit you over the head with a book of rules and listen to what you heart, when it's speaking truth, tells you is good. To live according to selfless love is a correct path in any faith. Cerberus Moderator
  10. Don't ever apologize for bringing us new studies! We love picking them apart and chewing on them to get all the good bits out. You never know when something is going to emerge that will end up being really helpful to someone. My cursory glance suggests to me that this may not be one of those things, but hey - my degree is in Library Science. And I'm barely compos mentis. What the hell do I know?
  11. Melli - You never have to apologize here for being honest. Thank you for coming back to your thread and clarifying your needs.
  12. Don't get excited. Ignore the article and read the abstract carefully, including the links to the expanded study abstracts at the bottom. This is not a particularly well-done dissertation, and its conclusions are not of very great consequence; indeed, they would largely occur to anyone who gave the question any serious thought. Taking Study I alone, they find that their respondents in large numbers reported either no effect at all, and the small percentage that did report some unexpected side-effect (of therapy, mind you, not medication) indicated that the effect didn't last. That is to say, they got over it. In general, the thesis claims that patients do less well using a DIY internet course of CBT therapy than patients who use traditional CBT with a therapist. Well, no shit, Mycroft. Therapy is an exercise of identifying and surmounting one's mental obstacles, and the help of the therapist is the key. If we could do it ourselves that easily, we wouldn't need the therapy. In another study, the researcher noted that patients reported having "bad memories resurface". That actually sounds like progress to me, but from the tone of the conclusions this paper draws, it sounds as though he would suggest that that would be grounds to reconsider therapy. This may be a "groundbreaking" paper in that nobody's put a spade in that particular bit of soil yet, but it didn't unearth anything of great value.
  13. Closure - We are not in the habit of telling our members what they may speak about or how they may speak about it. Our early motto was that crazy meds suck donkey dong, but we've had to clean up our potty mouth (slightly) now that we serve Google ads, and not talk as freely about nipple clamps. We still do, just not as freely. I'm not fond of them myself. Nevertheless! There is a short list of exceptions to the free flow of yammer, some of which are catalogued in the User Agreement, and some of which we've picked up as they have reared their hideous heads. This short list includes (but is not necessarily limited to, you cheeky monkeys): The buying, selling, finding, or making of illicit pharmaceuticals Advocacy of soundly debunked claims regarding vaccines Polemics that seek to persuade members to discontinue treatment for any reason Anti-medication, anti-psychiatry, or anti-psychology propaganda Any speech that constitutes sexual harrassment or stalking of any individual member Divulging another member's private personal information without his or her consent ("outing", "doxing") All of the above have been the cause for at least one person to go ban-a-bye-bye at one time or another. Other no-nos along these lines will occur to anyone with a modicum of common sense. To your immediate question: Is it forbidden to talk about your delusional ideas about why you're mentally interesting? Of course you can talk about that. Talk about it till you're blue, but here's the thing - if you're talking about that, we'd also very much like to hear how you realized that your delusion was exactly that, and how you came to accept the reality and have learned to cope with it in a healthy way. Your personal delusion is not helpful, except as backstory to actual recovery. Crazyboards isn't a padded cell. It isn't an inpatient psych ward, either. Crazyboards is a place where we meet to work on getting better and staying better. Our best service to one another is to challenge each other's delusions and self-defeating thinking. We grow and progress most swiftly when we call each other on our shit, and it has been that way here for heading into a dozen years now. It does no one any good if we validate the symptoms of disease in the same way that we validate hard-won progress. This is not my board to mod. I don't suffer from the kinds of delusions that you folks do, and my heart goes out to you and your suffering. Those like me who labor under crippling Major Depression experience delusional thinking of a different sort, the kind that causes one to believe that the cruelest imaginable things about oneself are true. There are no voices speaking to us; God is not pronouncing this; the cruel ideas have the ring of inarguable truth because they sound exactly like our own thoughts telling us the truth. There is no defense against it except to reach a point where one accepts that delusion is delusion, and must be identified, labeled, and set aside in favor of actual truth that can be proven with science and with logic. Perhaps I get a bit over-worked about this sort of thing, but to my mind, it touches the very center of why Crazyboards means enough to me that I've made it a significant part of my life. Mental Illness is the Enemy. If we indulge in any of the kinds of discussions in the short list above - or if we give equal time to delusion and place it on an equal footing with fact - then we give aid and comfort to that Enemy. The Enemy has no mercy and gives no quarter. It plunders the joy and vitality and beauty and promise from human lives and leaves ruin behind it, and even in 2017 we have no more real power to stop its forward march than a village in the west of France had to halt the onslaught Hitler's Panzers. Crazyboards isn't about VE Day (sorry, VE), at least, not yet - It's about the Resistance during the occupation. It's about triage and trenches, hunkering down and lifting up spirits, patching wounds and taking meds and making sure our fellows make it through the day in one piece. Because one day... ~Listen~
  14. melissa, you've been with us a long time, and you know how we roll here. We are not mental health professionals, but peers-in-suffering, and we make no bones about the fact that the vast majority of us have not earned a sheepskin in psychiatry, psychology or any other discipline that would qualify us to make definitive statements of our own accord about the nature of the brain or its maladies. That is why we place place such a value on, and set such a high bar for, documented research to give us answers. Opinions that are not based on medical rigor are at best distracting and at worst potentially harmful to people who come to Crazyboards seeking reliable information. Two or three days ago I checked to see who was using the site when I logged on; there were 15 members, but 435 guests. What good does it do the OP, or any of those hundreds of visitors and potential members, to hear an exchange of baseless supposition? Asking "Do you believe you actually have a brain disease?" is akin to asking "Do you think all those highly educated doctors we're seeing are charlatans?" If a member has a dx and is under treatment, and the member questions the diagnosis, then we should be encouraging the member to educate him- or herself about the known science about the illness so that the person can become an active participant in his or her own treatment. I don't have schizophrenia, but two members of my family were profoundly affected by it. Yes, they had a brain disease. It devastated their lives. Belief had nothing to do with it. No amount of believing or not believing was going to change it. I realize this may sound like a harsh line to take, and that sometimes a mind in distress tries to cope by denial - by imagining a possible reality in which the struggle we face is an illusion that will vanish if we only realize it. I wish recovery were as easy as a moment of clarity. Instead, it's long, hard, real-life work, and often discouraging and dispiriting, and that's why we have, and need, each other here at Crazyboards.