[email protected]

Member
  • Content count

    1046
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by [email protected]

  1. Sorry, I don't know where to put this post. I felt this link would be pertinent to parents who are MI because money is so frequently an issue for those of us who are ill. Here is a government link to a program which provides free Summer meals to kids and people under 18 when school is out of session. I hope it helps. https://www.fns.usda.gov/summerfoodrocks
  2. I'm not even sure this can be done, but is there a way to filter out posts that start with http?
  3. Trigger warning - my post contains examples of my rationalization for harming myself. To preface, I'm not currently SHing or planning on doing it imminently. That said, last night, I did engage in a bit of SH and I am questioning why it is wrong to do so. I understand that this must be faulty thinking, but I can't currently understand why it's unacceptable. My current line of rationalization that leads to questioning why it's unacceptable includes: I don't leave marks, so no shame about it later To date, no major injuries or infections. I understand that past results do not mean there will not be future repercussions. I get stress relief I guess I'd like feedback that helps me see why it's wrong. There's a fog between me and understanding it.
  4. Wanted to update this a little and share that I realized that I wasn't harming myself in other ways (eg: emotional eating) on the days I struggled the most. Emotionally ate two days in a row and did not SH (well, you know what I mean). The SH and urges to SH were crappy substitutes for other crappy coping mechanisms. The crappy coping mechanisms are so ingrained that I don't really hold out hope that I will regularly replace them with healthy behaviors, though I know that I'm the only one who can do that for myself. Will continue to try on a potential incident by incident basis and also try not to compound slip-ups by beating myself up. I guess I know the talk, but I struggle to make healthy choices. But really, the crappy coping mechanisms are so deeply rooted that they're a bit like meconium coping mechanisms
  5. That happens. I'm just throwing out thoughts. My other thought was to implement a delay between joining and being able to post.
  6. Thanks, Woo. Thinking on this now
  7. .

    .
  8. .

    Thanks for your response, Woo. I decided that there's probably no constructive reason to keep my post here, so I'm deleting it.
  9. river
  10. Finally told my GP that I think it's time for a med review with the pdoc. We're waiting until after the holidays to arrange it.
  11. More anecdotal evidence - I'm also on Lamotrigine and it has dumbed me down and killed my concentration. Maybe it has had a similar effect on you.
  12. Already cleaned the kitchen and did a load of laundry, so X Make bed. X Clean hallway Tidy one other room -------------------- X Make bed X Clean kitchen X Get rid of something X Tidy a room
  13. I felt increased anxiety when I was titrating up on Lamictal, but once I started on 100 mg, I noticed a difference. It did take some faith to hang on until I got there, but I wouldn't change it. 200 mg has made a massive difference in my life. I'm no longer suicidal 24/7 and I'm able to live my life out of bed. Yes, I am more forgetful and a bit more tired than I was, but the trade off has been worth it.
  14. Hi all. I'll start by saying that I have a long history of bulimia and anorexia and have found that I either ignore the situation and gain or obsess and lose (weight and control). I've been slowly losing weight since November. I think I've been doing it the "right" way. I'm eating my fruit and veg, I'm not avoiding entire food groups, I'm not grazing. I'm trying to let my body find its own weight despite what the scale shows. I'm looking to be healthy. It's started out well, but it seems like I'm going in the wrong direction. Right now, my eating isn't technically disordered, but recent behaviors are pointing towards a potential relapse. I'm obsessing about eating and feeling a sense of accomplishment when I adhere to my (so far) sensible eating rules. I designed them to be fluid, but I'm becoming rigid. I've started stepping on the scale. At first it was just to get a baseline. Then I attempted to do it once per week. Now it's every couple of days and I often think of getting on it. When I do get on the scale, I weigh myself several times to make sure the numbers are right. I know I should find a way to stop this from progressing, but I can't "remember" how bad it gets. I have a good amount to lose, so I don't want to go back to ignoring my intake entirely. I can't seem to do balanced. I feel like I'm in for ignoring or relapse, but not healthy I can't seem to choose health. Thanks for reading.
  15. Hi Melissa, thank you for your thoughtful response. I have a lot to think about before I can respond properly.
  16. Happy Ed Balls Day!
  17. Welcome!
  18. Just watched your vlog entries and I think they are amazing!

    1. Jennifer*

      Jennifer*

      Thanks Mari! I plan on putting up another one tonight! Feel free to share with whoever, and subscribe if you've got an account so it'll tell you when I post new vlogs :) I've also got a facebook page going for the vlog. www.facebook.com/livethelifebpd

    2. M@ri
    3. Jennifer*

      Jennifer*

      Here's the newest one! Thanks for watching, [email protected] :) and for sharing.