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About Wonderful.Cheese

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    Cheddar makes everything better!

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    Cheese (lol), Internet, music, knitting, crocheting, crafts in general, trying to go to the gym

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  1. And now that I think about it, the very first time I was on invega I did lactate very slightly. This was years and years ago. And it was very little. But I never had my levels checked. I just got off of it because I was only on the one AAP and it wasn't controlling my symptoms alone. I didn't know back then that I need more than one AAP to control my symptoms better. I'm sorry you can't take any AP's until your levels go down. I hope you will be ok. That would be so hard for me. Thinking of you.
  2. This scares me because I didn't have a period this last month. I am about to get off invega pills (12 mg) though soon I hope. I see pdoc March 2. Should I take myself off of it sooner? What if my pdoc won't let me get off the invega? I am on Abilify and zyprexa zydis too. Do those meds cause prolactin increase? I am not lactating but I did not get my period which is scary. I've never had my prolactin levels checked. I'm also on a birth control pill because of the heavy periods and getting anemic when I was younger. I hope your levels decrease soon. I hope it is nothing serious. I'll send some good thoughts your way.
  3. Stupid voices beating me up. Just shut the hell up already. I'm sick of this.
  4. Oh I'm sorry you had a concussion, but I'm glad it was not more serious. Good on you for working hard to get the treatment you need and deserve. And knowledge is power. You sound like you do know a fair amount about bipolar already. That's great! I wish I knew what I was facing at your age. I didn't know what the hell was going on.
  5. But your parents did not think that a manic episode ending in you totalling a car was worthy of treatment and dangerous to your safety and health? Did you tell them you were manic? Mania is pretty obvious to see when a person goes into an episode. But that kind of dangerous behavior should have landed you in the hospital for your safety. Did you tell anyone about this? A school counselor? Trusted teacher? Do they know the car was totalled? They must right? How could they not think this was a huge red flag? As soon as you move, I'd be talking to your school counselor then and explain the severity of your situation. You seriously could have been injured or worse or injured another person or worse by totalling your car. Can you even walk or take the bus to see a Dr? That's another option. I'm just worried. I think you need treatment. Bipolar is not something to mess around with. Car wrecks are dangerous and scary And why isn't your gp Dr prescribing you bipolar medications? Zoloft is an antidepressant. If you were diagnosed as BP 1 why no BP meds?
  6. No. I do not believe it is too much. Your pdoc prescribed you these meds for a reason. And if they are working, that's wonderful! Your parents, I'm sorry to say, are ignorant about mental illnesses and psychiatric meds. Maybe you could bring them to a Dr appointment or print off an article or two for them to read if they would be willing to. But with some people there is just no talking sense into. So I say don't feel bad. I'm on 3 antipsychotics plus many more meds at the moment. If it works, it works. Don't beat yourself up. You deserve to feel good.
  7. That seems reasonable and wise. I hope the increase helps you. Maybe it will do the trick. Here's hoping!
  8. @JoJoBBY924 Here's hoping the Seroquel increase works and works fast for you so you can feel better! Racing thoughts are no good.
  9. Should I be trying not to?

    @Geek <3 I would definitely ask about the xanax more frequently to help get you through this. You truly and most certainly deserve and need any relief you can get right now. That just might help with the bad feelings before you SH and if it even lessens the severity then that's a plus, and if it helps you not do it sometimes too a bigger plus! (And I hope I don't sound like I'm shaming you for the SH. Not my intention. I just worry and I'm sorry if that comes across wrong.) Please talk to your pdoc. You are worth it. I hope the meeting goes well. Keep us posted. We are here for you and we care. Sending love and thinking about you.
  10. @saintalto That's hard. They say I have depression too and in the past with my SZA disorder. But sometimes I don't feel sad or suicidal like I have no mood issues at all. I just feel ok. Not happy or sad. But I still feel flat, lack motivation hugely, isolate even more (like skip my groups), don't shower or brush my teeth, can't concentrate, I don't laugh or smile like I used to (because of feeling flat and feel like my face is the same flat feeling), don't do much of anything at all but stare off into space, don't really care about anything, etc. When depressed I am sad and feel like a failure and feel hopeless and feel suicidal and feel like everyone would be better off without me and I cry more often and I sleep more and I feel guilty for being alive even and I just hate myself and feel like I'll never get better and feel helpless and more. The two are definitely different IME. I feel the first one has got to be negative symptoms while the latter is definitely depression because of the huge mood aspect. I hope that helps. Just sharing my experience with the two. Also, negative symptoms are ongoing for me. Depression ends.
  11. Good luck! I'm glad yo ur Dr is on your side! I got it on the first try with no outside help. My mom filled out most of it with the help of my social worker while I was IP. I was too psychotic to understand or do much of anything. I don't really even remember signing anything???? I get almost the minimum amount of SSDI I think because all I had was shitty retail work experience which of course is very low paying. But I am grateful to have it since I am not able to work. Very grateful. But I do want very badly to return to work and work a full time job but I have no skills or degree and cannot return to college (federal loans were discharged, and my private loans that I still have are astronomical $$,$$$). I have to be realistic too. I cannot handle a job anyway. I have treatment resistant SZA. I miss being able to work though. I'm very isolated now. I miss being around people. Sorry for rambling. That's just my story. I hope everything goes well for you on the 8th. If you want, I'll send some positive thoughts your way that day! I'm sure it will go well though!
  12. Should I be trying not to?

    @Geek how are you doing? I hope your appointment went well. Thinking of you.
  13. I was diagnosed with SZA bipolar type at age 23 maybe? So about 11 years ago now. I was in a state institution long term care. So I'm pretty confident that this is the right diagnosis that they gave me. They sure as hell had long enough to observe me. Over the years no pdocs have questioned it. So I guess the shoe fits. There was no trigger it just happened slowly then quickly. And I got really sick and was hearing voices and seeing spiders and paranoid as hell and barely eating or taking care of myself in any way. Then I tried killing myself and nearly died. I was already depressed and the voices egged me on. Then the long term care. At the first hospital it was bipolar I disorder. But at the state institution they discovered that I really had SZA bipolar type instead due to the having psychosis for months outside of any mood problems. So that decided things I guess. I am still often symptomatic and have been told I have treatment resistant psychosis. Meds help but do not cure anything for me. I wish they did.
  14. I'm being controlled. They are erasing me. What I used to be is long gone.
  15. I did not know that! Thank you for the information! Interesting! These last two days my stomach has been so so; a little improvement. So I hope this means my body is adjusting now. It must have been quite a shock to my body after 10 years on Seroquel then 4 days bam none. Yikes! Thanks Jt. Knock on wood, these last 2 days have been a little better. So I do think my body is adjusting. I think it was perhaps the Seroquel withdrawal mostly but could be a combination of the two. But if it gets bad again I will definitely call my drs.