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About Wonderful.Cheese

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    Cheddar makes everything better!

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    Cheese (lol), Internet, music, knitting, crocheting, crafts in general, trying to go to the gym

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  1. Oh god it's been so long. I've been on abilify for over 10 years I'd say now. I was on that first. Anyway, I'd say a good 2-3 months before improvement for me because that's when I got to go back to my hometown from long term care in a state institution. One of the techs and other patients really noticed a huge difference in me too and commented on it. They saw me kind of "wake up" from being dead inside completely. Like I got myself back somewhat, slowly. Not perfect but not dead anymore either. Ymmv. Thinking of you and wishing you luck with this med trial.
  2. I take seroquel and abilify and have for probably 8-10 years. I like the combo. It generally works very well for me. I had to eventually add invega for more psychosis control but I have SZA so. Anyway, it is an option. Just wanted to share my experience. I find it a great combo. In regards to abilify, it was and is a great med for depression. I was in a nearly year long depression, severe suicide attempt in which I nearly died, anxiety through the roof, no motivation, just awful, etc I don’t need to explain depression to you, you get it. Anyway, it got me out of the state hospital within 2 months. I was freee to go home! I seriously would be dead without abilify. I starte d at 10 or 15 mg and now take 35 mg currently. 5 mg AM and 30 mg PM. Ymmv. But I have hope that abilify can help you too. I hope it can! I know you have been suffering for a long time. Good luck and keep us posted!
  3. IME it does get better over time and I did get used to it. I took 20 mg and I slept through the night and woke up refreshed and not groggy. I was groggy at first too, I won’t lie, but it did definitely improve for me. So I know zyprexa has been a good med for you overall. I would definitely try it wai t it out and see if it improves for you too. I’ll be crossing my fingers and toes that it improves for you ASAP. But I know how much being tired sucks. I feel you and I’m sorry that you are experiencing this.
  4. Hi life! Invega is a great Med for psychosis. It really really helps me anyway. I take 6 mg currently but took 12 mg before. I know that feeling with the akathisa but I don’t have it nearly as bad as you. I do pace at times and jump from one thing to the next but I can deal with it usually. For future options can you try propranolol or cogentin or more Klonopin? as for tonight, can you call anyone at the epilepsy clinic? Or your pdoc? When I had my day time sleep study they wanted to have me discont8nue all my med s for 2 weeks prior and that just wasn’t happening. But I wonder like you are wondering if they will discontinue meds for the study which totally sucks. But I’d like to know that before going into the study. You know? Homestly if it were me I’d take my meds as prescribed and let the epilepsy drs at the clinic deal with things once I arrived for the study. But that’s your call. I know how har d of a decision this is for you. I’m sorry I wish it were easier. I wish you luck with your study and I hope it goes well. I’ll be thinking ofyou.
  5. I know I've been allowed crayons and perhaps supervised colored pencils. Not sure about pens. Markers yes unsupervised with a poster to color. Definitely never have I been allowed my phone or a computer or a tablet, etc. Only at a state institution we could earn privileges and get to different higher wards and finally use the library where there were 2 computers to share (with 100+ patients). You'd get like half hour at a time. It sucked because it was so long term that you'd be there and nothing with cameras was allowed. So no smart phones for sure there. Be prepared to encounter pdocs who are against certain meds. Every time I go in locally I get stripped of Klonopin cold turkey (3 mg is my dose) and for some reason they give me Ambien instead of lunesta (which doesn't work as well for me). Be prepared to be forced to do groups. Not always but some hospitals have "treatment malls" and you are going to the treatment mall even if your legs have fallen off and you have to crawl. Some don't force it though and you have the option. Pack light. Some make you do laundry and some do it for you. So be prepared if you normally don't dry your clothing and hang dry them, they will get dryer dried (my t shirts shrunk because I usually didn't dry them). Bring a paperback book or two or three. If you can concentrate. Be prepared for boredom. I really cannot emphasize this enough. It is literally like "I'm going outta my mind and my skin and hair are freaking about to be ripped out" boredom. But you do get used to it especially if you get sent to the state institutions for long term care. Do you like coloring? That's readily available. Everywhere. Usually there is a TV. If you can concentrate. Usually one person hogs the channel choosing. The nurses may or may not be attentive or kind or knowledgeable. Same with the pdocs. Same with the techs. Same with tdocs and social workers and occupational therapists. With as smart as you are you may very well be smarter than almost or all of the staff. You do really know your stuff. Bring shoes without laces. Most of all, good luck. With all the pills you have been taking they may place you on a DD Ward. Also be prepared for that. But I totally agree that you need this and you will go through withdrawals that will be dangerous and you need the care of a hospital. I'm so sorry you are in such a shitty situation. I'll be thinking of you! Sending gentle thoughts and good vibes your way. If I think of anything else I will let you know. Take good care.
  6. My FIL is anti-med, anti-psychiatry

    Well. My father in law got pretty drunk and spoke his mind about medications, specifically psychiatric ones. Husband has said before that “everyone knows I’m on meds” (as in I don’t have to hide my med box if family come to our house). Well if everyone knows I’m on meds why would FIL say such things to me? I already don’t want to take my meds. I believe they are rotting my brain and body and have destroyed my personality completely. So no, I don’t believe that “everyone knows I’m on meds”. I forgot my SAD lamp out once when in laws came over and I had to lie that it was for crafting. I think my brother in law thinks that I work. I can be fine around people for maybe 1-3 hours a day so I probably appear normal-ish to his family. I bet they, along with the government, think I’m scamming the system. I know my SSDI review is going to fail. I lie my way out of the hospital because it doesn’t help anyway. I’m basically forced to take 3 antipsychotics that are killing me in many ways and have destroyed the essence of what makes up *me*. But I’m not forced into the hospital anymore, in and out for oh so many years. I just want to live again.
  7. I actually just am trying Snapchat (I'm behind on the times, I know!). I took a video of myself and I thought I was telling a funny story and that I was being so comical! Well it lets you review the video before you send it. Well I looked so flat and expressionless. I spoke so flat and monotone. It was not a comical video, let me tell you, because of this. That got me thinking! Do I sound like that all or most of the time?! I bet I do. I literally thought I was speaking comically and with funny expressions. I'm in shock. This is a negative symptom right? Anyone else?
  8. Omg! That makes me so mad! I can’t believe that happened to you! Ridiculous! Did you ever get through yet? Lol yes they need a longer music loop and peppier music. Something more jazzy, perhaps? Something we can dance to while waiting? Lol!
  9. So frustrating! I’m sorry they weren’t helpful to you either. Ugh.
  10. Well my last review was in March 2018. That was the long review that I did post about. So I don’t recall when the one before that was is the problem. Thanks! I guess I could try to call my local SSA office. I’m nervous now though. Maybe though. They are closed already though. They have ridiculous hours.
  11. I know, right? I guess I will just have to wait some more. I don’t know if calling my local SSA office would do any good? I doubt it but I am not sure?
  12. Video/Internet Therapy

    I hope the website-tdoc appointment goes well, geek. I’m about to start seeing my pdoc in this manner soon.
  13. Well I called the SSA main phone number to try to find out Info on my long review status and also when I could expect my next review/what my improvement status was (since reviews mess with me so much). I waited for 50 long minutes. Finally I got to talk to a lady. All I found out was that there were no more or recent letters sent out from the lady who interviewed me from my local office. Also, that 120 days means, get this, 120 business days. So it has not been 120 days, it’s been 84 business days since my review. I was promised a decision letter in 60-120 days. I guess that means business days. So I should get a letter by very early September at the latest. I was also told that she couldn’t tell me when my next review would be or what my status was marked as. ????? She said “well when did you have your last review and then calculate it from there.” Ok...? I don’t remember that’s the problem. I thought I’d get some info. What a waste of time. That lady was not helpful at all.
  14. No, I have not heard back from my long review. Am I supposed to hear back or will things just continue on or I guess stop if I didn’t seem disabled anymore? SSA never seems to keep you in the loop. Ugh. Should I call SSA to find out about my review? I will try to do some digging.