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About Wonderful.Cheese

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    Cheddar makes everything better!

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    Cheese (lol), Internet, music, knitting, crocheting, crafts in general, trying to go to the gym

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13278 profile views
  1. Oh I wish I knew the answer or how to solve this problem because I have the same issue. I have hobbies but nothing can get me to do them after dinner. I turn into a giant blob. I go online and that's about it. I don't do TV really. No focus for that. So I lay around doing nothing and I feel depressed about it. I wish I could be productive so badly.
  2. How Long BP Depression May Last

    Thyroid levels can mess with a person a lot. I used to be way more tired than I am now before getting on a thyroid med. I'm not sure that it has helped my mood but it might help yours! I also thought the thyroid medication would help me lose a bunch of weight but no luck. Darn. Depressions are tricky things and can vary vastly in how long they last. I hope you find some good meds whether they be psych or thyroid that help you feel better soon. I would suggest seeing an endocrinologist who specializes in thyroid problems. I had to have blood work and an ultrasound on my neck done to check for thyroid nodules. Luckily I didn't have any.
  3. Good for you @confused for getting a new job. I hope it goes well. As for me, I hate how paranoid I've become. Over every little tiny thing. It just sets me off into this huge mess. It clouds me in negativity when I want to be positive. Makes me behave poorly towards others. I sometimes see it after the fact or if it's pointed out to me like by my tdoc or case manager or pdoc or husband (for instance). It's hard though. I don't know how to handle this.
  4. Tempted by mania...what to do?

    You guys are right. I need to stay strong and stay away from the light box (which did make me manic, yes). A list is a great idea. Thanks.
  5. Well I've taken Abilify for 10 years now at 30-35 mg. I also take Seroquel XR and invega with it. No side effects for me except a lot of weight gain and the "fun" that accompanies that. I've been on Seroquel for almost as long and I blame that for more of the weight woes than Abilify. Unfortunately Abilify wasn't enough to control my symptoms though, thus the addition of the Seroquel then recently the invega.
  6. I'm so damn tempted to use the light box again. I want to feel that God juice again in me. I want to be awake and full of life and energy. I want to be more. I'm terrified of becoming depressed and tired all the time again. It's already beginning. I can feel it. I don't have much time.
  7. I'm being stalked again by my ex toxic friend. I saw her "out and about" and that's what started this whole shebang again. I need to shower too. Haven't done so in nearly a week. Getting itchy. But I'm scared.
  8. Super powers real and imagined

    I recently felt as though I had God juice running through my veins. Like I was an actual God. Full of power and just everything.
  9. Schizoaffective bipolar ?

    I have SZA bipolar type. I agree with what aura said.
  10. I made *That?*

    Omg awesome! I love them both! The rose is exquisite! And the snowmen are so cute!
  11. I made *That?*

    Some Christmas things I've been making. Button trees. A cookie cutter wreath Some crocheted snowflakes
  12. I made *That?*

    Way cool! That is so awesome!
  13. God juice and being trapped

    I see my pdoc on the 11th. So very soon. I don't think I need a med change. But we will see I guess.
  14. God juice and being trapped

    I have come down considerably. I'm so sorry I haven't updated sooner. I'm so embarrassed by my words and thoughts. That is why I've stayed away. I can't believe I...ugh. I no longer want to divorce my husband. I no longer feel God juice. I sleep better. Spending has gone way down. Etc. The come down was very hard this time. I was very very angry about it. Feelings of being controlled and trapped lingered. But that is fading bit by bit. My poor husband. I feel a lot of guilt. I have not used the light box as tempting as it is. I'm still on the wellbutrin. No call from my nurse yesterday as she promised. But to be fair there was bad weather yesterday so maybe the clinic closed early. I see my pdoc soon anyway. Oh well.
  15. I did not do my afternoon light box therapy as per my old pdoc's orders and as per my husband's orders I took a PRN med. All I ever do is what everyone says. I'm trapped, severely. I have no freedom. Why do other people who I dislike get to rule me, my life? I mean before earlier in the afternoon I literally felt something like "God juice" pumping through my veins. It was pure energy pure high pure everything. Even some irritability. But mostly just high up up up wild feeling. Now I don't feel that quite as much. And I'm pissed off about it. Why do they get to say how I should be? My husband gets home in half an hour and I do not want to see him. I want a divorce. I'm done. 7 years.