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  1. Mrjones, that disturbs me to think your tdoc could in any way possible expect you to make such a life-altering decision in one week. Just, no. I'm in the same pickle, with discussing divorce, but, I've made it clear to tdoc that it will not be a decision I take lightly. My situation is, 31 yr marriage, all but the 5 past years good, plus two teens still at home, and a fuckton of pets. I can't just pack my bags and leave. Oh, and I've been a self-employed artist for the past 27 years, i have absolutely no marketable skills for any job that could keep the kids and I afloat. I would have to sue for alimony and child support. I have good grounds for the alimony, but it will obviously be a traumatic thing to approach, and I have different trauma I'm trying to process right now. My tdoc and I do discuss logistics, but he's not pressuring me. The hope is my alcohol/pain med addict husband will pull through is still a hope I have. Is it unrealistic? I don't know. For now, I'm doing weekly therapy, some sessions are just venting, some are seeking non-drastic resolutions. I wish you the best, but I would be quite staunch about someone telling me a decision has to be made immediately.
  2. I've had, in the past, migraines with auras. Can't say that I've had them with regards to lithium though, it's been a while. Discuss with pdoc? I don't think I've heard of this concern before. Sorry, migraines suck, no matter the cause.
  3. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Well, never mind, shit situations are bringing me down. Feel like shit, no one cares. I'll still try for exercise tomorrow though.
  4. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Achy, but in a good way. Started back at the gym this morning for the first time in 13 years. Hoping physical exercise will help tone down mood issues as of late.
  5. Maybe this is just normal, idk? I wake frequently at night, and lately, the last few months, when I first wake, there are images. Like, one of my cats is on the nightstand. Then I sit up a bit, and no, it's not, just a shadow. Or, the horrible feeling that someone's in my bedroom, standing over me. Then, sitting up, realizing it's once again a shadow. It's frightening when I wake, it seems the shadows are ominous, like there's something there. Does anyone else experience this?
  6. What Did You Accomplish Today?

    For the first time in my life, put xmas lights up outside. Just the front porch, and took forever for me to figure out the plugs... man, this isn't rocket science, wtf? My 15yo daughter will be thrilled.
  7. How Do You Feel THIS MOMENT in Time?

    Very very drained and tired. The past 5 days have been nonstop errands, appointments and chores. It's taken its toll. Finally a "day off" with only a pharmacy run.
  8. whatever the weather

    Heh, yeah, Mother Nature didn't get the late November memo. Will be 58F today, and close to that tomorrow. Yep, outdoor work is planned this week. Ten day forecast has highs slipping into the 30's, more seasonal.
  9. Interesting comments. I don't even register loneliness, as IRL I don't socialize, very much content with being a loner. what bothers me the most is the hypersomnia. Seems like all I do is drift from bed to sofa and back to bed.
  10. My Grandpa Is Dying

    Xmo, just wanted to express sincere regrets for what you're about to go through, and eventual loss. I had a special relationship with my maternal grandfather, we were alike in so many ways. He called me his little piss ant, lol. i lost him 30 years ago to colon cancer, so don't know what's available now to help you, ananke gave good advice. wishing you the best, and strength. Keep talking, we're listening.
  11. I'm very sorry too to hear of your immense struggles. Yes, you do deserve better, and I hate to say, it might take several trial and errors to find the right combo. It can happen, tho. As BB mentioned, therapy is an important piece of the puzzle too. I hope you can find a good therapist.
  12. My therapist is 40 minutes, but, he will say keep talking, while I start writing (next appt time, etc). I know it's hard to speak up. Could you have a watch with you? My tdoc has several clocks in his office, so I can gauge how much time I have to keep going on an issue.
  13. Water, I believe the adage of something like "to a child, parents are god. Then they grow stupider as the child reaches maturity. Then somewhere in the mid-20's the parents become wiser again". I have a 30yo daughter, yes, we became stupid for a while, then she realized one day that maybe we weren't. Have patience, dear water. 18yo's can be impossible. Don't doubt yourself. I hope you have leftovers to console yourself with, and you are MORE than "good enough". You rock.
  14. I'm in a swirl tonight. Up, extremely down, can't type out what's wrong. Enjoyed my older daughter's and boyfriend visit, teens were great. Husband... embarrassed me deeply. He's all shades of fucked up. Thats all.
  15. The person below me...

    False. Even with garlic. TPBM has read, or knows who archy and mehitabel are.