I'm glad to hear that you're getting help finally. That sucks that your pain was sidelined for so many years.
A friend of mine called me strong the other day, and I cursed him out for twenty minutes. I think, sometimes, it's just exhausting being strong. People say you're so strong you're like a rock, and what flashes into my head is that childhood I never got to have, and it just pisses me off. Makes me want to have a tantrum. Once in a while I do.
The other day I was sitting in bed with a guy I was dating. I was reading an article about Britney Spear's engagement and I was like "Wow, this is kinda freaky. She's marrying her manager, and her dad has power of attorney. She doesn't have any control of her own life." and he said "Well, she isn't in her right mind, perhaps it's for the best." and I said "You are a fucking asshole." and he said "Does that scare you because you're afraid that might happen to you? Yeah, that must be so weird for you." So I broke up with him. I broke up with him because I felt othered. I am saying this not to berate you. Not to make you also feel othered. But to explain why people reacted so strongly.
I do not think that you don't belong on this board. You are more than welcome here.
Like you I did not remember my original trauma at first, and I still do not remember the bulk of it, but I'm not as cut off from my emotions as I used to be.