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sbdivemaster

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About sbdivemaster

  • Rank
    Under Pressure

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  • Gender
    male
  • Location
    Shangri-La

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  1. First, stop comparing yourself to your brother. Never going to lead to anything. He's not you, you're not him. Second, maybe you could try getting back into the Mandarin for a semester or two (Ni hao! Ni hao ma? Mang bu mang?); if you do well, perhaps parents will see that and open up to you adding to the course load. (I studied Madarin for an entire year in college - in the hypomanic hopes of going to acupuncture school!)
  2. Could be, but you're going to miss it. You'll be dead. No one else is going to think it's a "beautiful thing". Please don't kill yourself. It would suck.
  3. therapists and gifts

    No problem giving veggies or fruit from the garden... I don't even consider that a gift - it's just giving away surplus food. In the past, I've given pertinent books, bibelot that fits in with office decor, even gave one a small petit point I made. Never had any of them reject or seem uncomfortable with gifts, but also, based on our interaction, I was confident that there wouldn't be a problem. I guess it depends on the therapist and the type of interaction you have with them. I would never give something like jewelry, even hand-made, or clothing... too personal. YMMV
  4. Sounds good you were able to recognize the subtle return of symptoms. Even better that you were able to get back out of the funk with a slight increase in meds that you already tolerate well. It's good to hear that someone is doing better and feeling very well. Carry on...
  5. Is this normal

    Sorry for the loss of your brother. That must be very painful. Therapy isn't supposed to make you feel worse, but it can.
  6. Bounded Choice by Janja LaIich
  7. I ruminate a crap ton. Ruminate about all kinds of stuff, even stuff that happened decades ago - embarrassing moments, times someone screwed me over, pissed me off, times I hurt someone else... all kinds of stuff, mixed in with suicidal thoughts. It was a constant stream, like a movie with all the thoughts flowing from one thought to another. Without distraction, I could ruminate for hours. When I was severely depressed, I would ruminate for hours and hours; I would have the thoughts and images going through my mind and, even with my eyes open, I wouldn't see anything but the images in my mind - hours would go by. I really had reached a point where I forgot that it wasn't normal. Well, I used to. Started taking gabapentin and it's put a pretty good dent in the problem. Still working up a good dosage, but it's really working well for me. Might be something to talk to your quack about. YMMV
  8. I started lamotrigine at the deepest depths of a severe depression that came after the crash from mania. It took a while but it works, for me, keeping the depression away. I have had some short manic episodes, but nothing too severe. Lamotrigine has been FDA approved for Bipolar 1; it's considered most effective in treating and preventing the depressive episodes. Lithium is considered most effective in treating and preventing the manic episodes. Both lamotrigine and lithium are used to stabilize mood in general, be it up or down. YMMV
  9. Yep. I take gabapentin as an adjunct to lamotrigine exactly for those symptoms. Works really well - probably going for another increase at my next quack appointment. I was worried that it would make me tired; not at all - at least at current dose.
  10. Eating Guilt

    My mistake. I understand what survival guilt is; I was looking for the (possible) reason for your own survival guilt.
  11. Eating Guilt

    Survival guilt? Can you elaborate?
  12. Glad you are getting help. Best wishes for an improved condition and relationship with your son.
  13. I appreciate the rethinking. Yes, everyone makes mistakes. Not everyone owns up to it. You sir, stand head and shoulders above many.
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