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About KnickNak

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    Mitten State

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  1. Yes, very funny you said this .. just today I got the email from the job I applied to, I didn't get. I have a huge gap in my resume.. also i don't have a college degree. This past week in my session with my therapist we were talking about careers and working. She said I most likely will always have to be on disability. If that is the case... that is basically living on welfare. And I don't want that. I brought up some careers to her that I am interested in. She looked at me with a blank stare. It was really discouraging. I then asked her? What do you think I should do ?? " It's not up to me what you should do, that's up to you" Typical therapist answer... I said you are useless lady. Just give me some advice you should know me by now. The jobs I have had in the past.. I could not keep them for long due to my MI. So yes, You can't set the bar too high. I have to remember I always crash :/. I do know one thing is I am not going back to college esp a 4 year degree... I can't have 60k in debt. There are different types of trade schools that cost less. My biggest fear is losing my insurance.
  2. I ate Eggo's with butter and syrup. Lightning struck the transformer in our backyard and the grass caught on fire.. It made me laugh. Even tho I don't know why? I went to a gym... it smelled like ass.
  3. Do you peeps believe in Global Warming? This was exactly 2 years ago.. I am out on a lake near Detroit, Michigan... and pretty far out there. Today we have Thunderstorm and Tornado watches
  4. Everything is Temporary but Love.

    1. CherryBlossom


      wish this was something I could believe.

    2. KnickNak


      I try to believe it too..It's always going to be there, our mind will trick us into something else to blanket it to think we have gotten past it .

  5. Anyone see this Guy's poem who has OCD that has been going around Facebook? INTENSE
  6. Holy Shit... Seriously , you are like the queen at responses here.. I know for a fact 100% I would NEVER get one.. I think I am just sad and the idea sounds intriguing ... anything with surgery and messing with your brain is scary AF. And then again I think of people who get into terrible accident and lose memory and have severe brain damage and that wasn't their choice to lose memories. again I am an asshole.
  7. Yes, that would be really trippy and I think way worse.. omg, I didn't even think of that. Good song, yes the alcohol at the time feels good.. but then it's the next day.. it starts all over *sigh*
  8. That is awesome. Dixie!! sometimes just getting dressed or " dolled up" makes me feel better. oh man.. it took me a while to get used to driving, to this day I am still not 100% confident how I used to be driving. Good for you tho! that's a huge step, bravo! Little things like this.. will have huge impacts and make you feel good.
  9. Do you guys ever want to get a Lobotomy .. so you can't feel pain or any feelings.. so nothing can hurt you anymore.
  10. Hey Dixie, What a ride you had, It happens to the best of us Bipolar's .. I can say i did about 1/6th of what you did.. and i did feel ashamed at one point but then i said, hey It's life .. shit gets complicated and esp for us it is a little more complex . Your life isn't over , you just have to work on now, taking care of yourself and not getting too deep into a depression. Don't get sucked up into that black hole. The important thing now... is that you are alive . And you can get your life back. It's never too late. I am sort of a hypocrite because I am soo depressed and stuff and really my life is in the shitter right now.I l live in a small town as well and everyone knows i slipped thru the cracks but fuck people, let them talk. they have nothing better to do. Just don't lose hope. Try to find something that keeps you going. Good Luck!
  11. Sometimes I wish there would be meds that would stop dreams.. my dreams are soo vivid I wake up the next morning thinking they happened and I get soo sad or confused.. I am drenched In sweat, What is that movie.. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.. where a couple tried to erase each other from their minds and memories. That movie was messed up. Usually my dreams are way better than reality.. which is why waking up is soo hard.
  12. I know ... I am pretty strong emotionally when it comes to stuff , I have had a lot happen in my life . but everyone has a breaking point. It really is, I feel like a second class citizen sometimes. it's shitty. I don't get the same respect as I do as others.
  13. WOW, at you never crying in front of anyone. and keeping your emotions to yourself, i can't imagine! Yes, my family is frustrated with me.. but I am also frustrated with them. The sad thing is when I speak up or stand up for myself.. they overlook it and think it's my mental illness and I am having an off day. Jerks.