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About confused

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    bundle of nerves
  • Birthday May 1

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    Southern California
  • Interests
    very amateur writing

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  1. Savannah, i understand. I have had a long period of stability (years) it is possible. Most times, I enjoy the good days and don't think about relapse. But, some days, I feel like I am holding my breath. Like, I can't breathe until I know things will always be okay. I talked to a pdoc and he said the same as gearhead. "Breathe everyday". I am fine today, so enjoy it. i think I would probably deal better with a relapse because of what I have learned from my previous experience.
  2. Whether or not it is hypomania, do you think you can meet those obligations? If yes, that sounds great. I think I was hypomanic a little while ago. I was hardly sleeping, working a lot on my blog, talking fast (so much that I was asked to slow down). One thing is that I liked how I felt and I didn't want anyone to tell me it was a problem. My husband worries when I don't sleep and I was annoyed when he would tell me to go to bed. I felt the person who told me I talked too fast was listening too slow. I agreed to blog at least once/week. That sounded easy when I was putting out work daily. Now, I can do it, but I feel a bit of pressure. I am glad I did agree to it, though, and i might have not if I wasn't feeling productive.(It is not a paid deal, they would just take the space away). I hate when it is hard to enjoy having a good day. Do you have other signs when you start going into mania? I get irritable, paranoid. other things than euphoria.
  3. False TPBM binge watches Netflix shows
  4. Yes, I was thinking you may not want to ask. That is a tough spot.
  5. Cheese, i could be reading this wrong, but I just had an outside observer look at something for me ( my work review) and we interpreted it differently. Perhaps, they were not purposely excluding you and the comment was not meant as a slight. I know you are sad, and I agree with jt not to hide that. It just may not have anything to do with mental illness. The only way to know why you were not invited is to ask. i am sorry to hear you are sad
  6. I wish my husband would get off my back. I stayed up last night. I couldn't sleep. He convinced me to lay down, i slept for about 30 minutes and then ate. He wants me to stay off the computer now. To try to relax. I think I will crash eventually, i am not wide awake right now. I just have trouble sitting doing nothing
  7. I was not functional before I got on meds, so I imagine I could return to that state. I wouldn't want to risk that. I hear that "gift" comment from people. I would like to return mine. Proposing that we, all or most, don't need meds, and that they know what is best for us is just more stigma IMO
  8. My dumb phone
  9. From the album testing

    Dumb phone
  10. Thanks melissa, i rambled. I don't know what the correct term would be. Not in tune with your environment. If i get an answer and s better way to describe it I will.
  11. I started a group at my work from a national org schizophrenia alliance (SA). It is a 6 step, like a 12 step group. I am not familiar with step groups, but learning. We follow a format, but most of the group is discussion. It is nice to have a place to talk about symptoms that no one else understands. this week the subject of memory loss and some other cognitive issues were brought up. This man was saying how frustrating it is to have to be told things that you think you should know. I was not sure if we were talking about the same type of thing, but I feel the same way. People will point things out to me that seem obvious and I never noticed or did not understand. i know cognitive dysfunctions are part of thought disorders, but is there a term for being clueless? Most of my interactions are work related, i don't get out much I just had an annual work review after 19 months and they had documented every negative interaction and listed them. It was mostly positive, but they brought up things from a year ago. anyways, one thing was that I am resistant to comply because they had us doing housecleaning chores when we have a janitorial service and I made a comment that it is not in my job description. Anyways at the time we had talks about insubordination at our meetings. I never thought they meant me. But, now I think they were talking about me. It never crossed my mind. That is not a good example. I had a weird shift and someone told me they gave it to me because it was the lighter days, maybe. I kept telling my co worker he could leave early. I thought i was being nice, he thought i was ordering him and he did not want to leave. i thought we were friends and he was angry. and, i am lonely, but the more I tell people I would like to make friends the more I seem to scare them away. I don't know. It is like i have these "aha" moments a year too late
  12. Yes. there was a time when I would call out too often and I hid it from my parents. I was really stressed/anxious at the job. I am more stable now and I have a less stressful work environment. I don't do that anymore. I did get a verbal warning at work about calling out sick. You don't want to make it a habit.
  13. The lawyer doesn't get paid unless you win, they they get paid a % of your back pay.
  14. Did they tell you why? 60% of all applicants are denied at first, you can appeal. they told me i could do repetitive work, alone. I missed the appeal date so i reapplied. I missed out on a lot of backpay, by not going through the appeal route
  15. It can be freeing to disclose and be able to express more, but there are risks. I used to take it on a need to know basis. You can't take it back once it is out there. That said. I am very open now. I give presentations, blog, work in the field. Everyone knows.