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coraline

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About coraline

  • Rank
    you and your third dimension
  • Birthday 10/11/1980

Profile Information

  • Gender
    female
  • Location
    floating in space
  • Interests
    Music. Creating art via paint or what ever strikes my fancy. Reading and writing,even when it's bad.Exploring the universe and possibilities beyond my mind. Doing whatever it takes to get and remain stable all while cursing the ones who throw meds at me and challenge my thinking. Moonlight and stars. The sky and its ever changing colors. Being near and walking on the beach preferably tropical,although I do enjoy my local ice cold waters. Collecting things I find..rocks,puzzle pieces,cards,bread ties,pamphlets,sugar packets,change..maybe I'm a mild freegan klepto. Anything Hello Kitty.Helping and supporting people even when I'm not feeling well myself. Venturing into the outdoors when possible. I have an awesome red cruiser bike named Vera I ride in circles,straight lines,ocasional left and right turns.She has white wall tires and peddle breaks and a kickstand and is easy going and we've been on many adventures. I have a wonderful loving doggie named Bailey that helps me get through tough times and can always bring a smile to my face. We go on walks around the lake and enjoy cuddling on the couch. He has an obsession with pine cones and hunts them down in the yard then does a flying leap into the house so happy.

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. I hope it's not saying anything too horrible to you.. I've been laying on my couch thinking I'm being monitored and I just don't know how much more I can take.. My disability review was nuts..it was just questionnaire but on the dreaded phone and took forever.. The lady had no idea what she was even doing or why..kept putting me on hold.. Then later on that day had another lady call me..it scared me..I thought they were going to take my funds away.. I kept asking questions but would get circular answers.. They are still going to send me a bunch of paperwork.. I'm so confused.. I refuse to let these assholes win by changing my phone number and go into hiding..
  2. Maybe it's time to try something else?.. Especially since its constant.. You're expressing what's going on.. It's just that I'm not a licenced pdoc or tdoc so I can't really give much insight.. I know how confusing mental illnesses and symptoms are to us.. I get lost in mine.. It can be hard to explain and make sense of them..
  3. If this has been going on for the past 5 years I'd definitely tell your pdoc if you haven't already.. They need to know what's going on in order to treat it.. I can't pinpoint what exactly it is.. But I do know stress can surely mess with us..symptom wise.. If the meds you're on aren't helping than its important to really get out as much of this in detail to your pdoc.. Print this out or write out a list of symptoms and hand it over to them..I do this when I can't handle talking.. Sometimes it's just easier that way.. And really give meds a good chance at working before tossing them aside.. I'm not saying the ones you're on are working.. Just for the future.. If need be..get a second opinion.. Hope you get well.. Hate seeing people miserable..
  4. @Juniper29 Hopefully I am safe.. I know there's ways to find people.. There's sites to do that.. He doesn't know where I'm living.. I hope he stays dumb enough to not figure it out.. I just don't understand how he's getting through the call blockers.. He's a raging alcoholic..and texts me at all hours of the night while I'm asleep.. I just want him gone from my mind.. I don't know if he ever will be..
  5. My ex..the one that would hit me.. Punch holes in the walls.. That I'd patch up with my paintings.. He'd pound on doors while I hid and cried while he practically broke them down.. He'd scream and yell at me.. So scary..such a terrifying life.. He somehow got through the 5 call blocker apps on my phone and texted me twice.... Once angry.. Telling me what a piece of shit I am and various other things.. And going on and on.. And once saying he will never be over me and still loves me.. I never responded to either of his rantings.. This has triggered me to a place I don't like.. I'm having nightmares.. I'm scared he's going to find me..
  6. I'm so sorry to hear you went through a breakup.. Hopefully in time you will mend.. I wish the voices would disappear soon for you.. New meds will help..
  7. I'm confused.. So the hospital diagnosed you with a different dx than your treating pdoc? And nobody believes your psychotic symptoms? That just seems odd.. So now you're fighting with your original pdoc over this?.. I am by no means judging..just confused.. Maybe a second opinion isn't such a bad idea.. Especially if your own pdoc is thinking this is just your imagination.. Your panic attacks could be from all the stress of this.. Just a thought.. I've had plenty of strange encounters with pdocs that were less than helpful.. Many failed meds..many odd ones just tossed at me for seemingly no reason.. I hope you get this all sorted out.. But if it does come down to a different diagnosis.. As stressful as that might be to accept.. Treating symptoms are far more important..
  8. I'm glad this place makes you feel less alone.. Does the same for me.. It's all I have for an outlet.. I'm sorry your mad at your meds..treatment and therapy.. I often struggle with the same problems.. I do hope things get better..
  9. Risperidone just wasn't the right med for me.. Doesn't make it evil.. It just sounds like it's the wrong med for you.. It can be pretty sedating as well.. It is true that often coming out of psychosis you can be left with depression.. Also negative symptoms and depression can look quite similar..
  10. I tried doing this all on my own.. No attorney.. Probably would haven't been such a hassle had I gone the attorney route.. I was such a mess at the time.. And honestly didn't have the knowledge I have now about the process.. Don't get discouraged..
  11. I had to do the exact same thing.. It was a long time ago... I got the letter like you did.. Brought in the meds..letters.. The psychiatrist they sent me to was odd.. She wasn't even sure why I was there.. Whether it was for a review or application.. Kind of threw me off.. She was disorganized.. The questions she asked were strange at first.. "What does it mean if a monkey can fall out of a tree".. That one I still don't understand..who knows what I answered.. Then she got more to diagnostic questions.. But I did not trust her credentials whatsoever.. Needless to say.. I was denied my first time around.. Had to appeal.. Which was by no means a fun task.. Lots of waiting.. But there is always that option.. So if you don't get it the first time.. Stay on it and appeal.. Good luck..
  12. That's just messed up of that doctor.. Sorry you had to go through that.. I hope everything is resolved.. You'd think people in the medical field would be more educated.. Or at least understand.. What a damn mess..
  13. I had an awful experience seeing my dentist for the first time 2 years ago.. I wrote down all the meds I was on and my diagnosis.. He had the nerve to ask if I was stable enough to be there.. This uneducated man acted like I was going to bite his face off or something.. I still go back because it's all I can afford.. It's the only place close enough that takes my insurance.. Luckily I haven't had to deal with him since.. It makes me want to hide everything.. I'm sick of this world..
  14. I was watching an old episode of the tv show House.. They had a schizophrenic patient.. And one of the doctors treating her said "crazy people think dumb things".. This floored me.. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard.. I hate the way that movies and tv shows portray mental illness.. And they often go way too far with schizophrenics.. They do it with all mental illnesses.. I'm just in disbelief sometimes.. I don't know how we are supposed to change the way the world sees us with this crap... The news is just as bad.. I guess we all own guns and at any moment are going to go out and kill without intervention.. I'm just not liking the direction the whole educating the masses is going..
  15. I'm glad you're no longer suicidal.. It's understandable to feel insecure coming out.. It can be hard to adjust to..especially when you fear you'll be back.. But I think if you take things slowly.. Allow these meds to work.. You will make it through..
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