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The Hitcher

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About The Hitcher

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    Staying away from incarceration, one day at a time.

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  1. Never forget, we are all animals.

    1. The Hitcher

      The Hitcher

      Some are just higher up the food chain than others.

  2. There's a difference between AsPD and psychopathy. CEO's, surgeons etc will likely be psychopaths, if anything. They are jobs that can't be filled with an antisocial background, which has to include previous arrests etc to be dx'd. Is it really popular to be antisocial? I know a few people with AsPD, myself included and we don't think we got the smooth end of the stick, far from it in fact. Maybe people think it's cool to be a psychopath beacuse of shows like Criminal Minds and Hannibal, but not antisocial personality disorder. It's a destructive and self destrcutive thing to have that is no fun. If someone were to tell me my condition is cool IRL, I'd likely throttle them lol.
  3. Not so much with food (although it has happened before), mainly meds for me. I feel that they've been replaced with poison. Then I don't take them, then I land up in hospital and etc etc.
  4. I was up to 7 or 8mg of it and actually lost a few lbs rather than gaining anything. Not heard of it being bad for weight gain in all honesty. I didn't do that much research into it when I first started taking it though.
  5. I'm on a range of medication and still get hypomania quite frequently. Not really full blown mania though, haven't had an episode of that in years. The lithium got my mania straight down and the addition of the lamictal helped a bit with the hypo states. I think it's just finding a combination of medication that works for you. I can understand that having a job and playing around with new meds might not be the easiest thing in the world though.
  6. So I've been having these strange dreams recently. I wish I could recall them but I genuinely can't. All I know is that they repeat on me constantly throughout the course of the night and are that disturbing that I refuse to go back to sleep. I usually end up getting up at around 3am after a few hours of broken sleep as I just can't face going back into this nightmarish land of repetition. Anyone else have anything like this and if so how did you cope?
  7. I can't experience a "buzz" from anything either. I just came to terms with it. jt is right, there is no way to get over it and I've tried for a lot of years, I miss the buzz that certain drugs, be they legal or illegal used to give me. I understand that my mental health comes first though. I'm on antipsych meds for a reason so if I can't get buzzed what does it matter. I'd rather be (realtively) sane and happy than fucked but miserable.
  8. Last time I was in was just for a few days. Some of the staff were ok, but some of them fucked me over with things I told them in confidence. I also had a big falling out with the consultant psych and he tried to change my dx and got rid of my benzos. He was a real arsehole. I have had goodd experiences in hospital though, Apart from high sec, that wasn't fun at all.
  9. You're the only person I've ever known who says coke helps them unwind! Could well be the cause of your problems. Maybe come off the coke and see if it helps? I know you don't want to, but it could be the root cause of all your problems. I know, I had a coke addiction for a couple of years and it was pretty nasty. I'd recommend getting off the Colombian marching powder and finding a different way of chilling out.
  10. The mind readers are back and now they're following me through the streets. House is under 24hr surveillance. Have to have all the blinds drawn and all windows/doors locked at all times. Very concerned as to what they might do.
  11. I've recently self-harmed because of my voices. I tried to over dose but my missus stopped me, then I tried to cut my wrists but the knife I found was too blunt so only managed to create some small cuts. I really wanted to finish myself off this time becuase of the voices, fuck them!
  12. I think it can be quite hard to tell in some cases, but as a rule of thumb if you've having ideation then you should probably be contacting someone.
  13. Well, they even failed at getting me into hopital, not enogh beds apparently. So home treatment it is and they've decided to taper the haldol and not the abilify. They cause much confusin with me! Have the hom treatment team coming out daily instead which doesn't really do me a lot of good. Oh well, we'll see how this thing progresses. Thanks for the kind words guys!
  14. @Wonderful.Cheese Thanks for the input! I ended up in Accident and Emergency last night after trying to take an overdose (my missus caught me). They said that I need to start taking the abilify again and that they're going to admit me while they do the taper. Could be a long stay this time around! I'll be in for the first two weeks of the clozapine as well so they can do the obs and suchlike. It's probably going to take on close to 6 weeks, which is longer than I really want to be in hospital for, but what are you going to do? Again, thanks for sharing your story
  15. If you have that many projects going, at least you won't be bored sorting them out when you come down agan. Plus side to everything. I'm uncharacteristically positive today lol.