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About CherryBlossom

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    Leaving for rest of December & January...PCE OUT
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    In the forest where the trees sing an odd melody
  • Interests
    tattoos, art, make-up, clothes, and math & science.

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  1. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Since I am not married or ever been married my advice would be quite weak. But, the relationships I have seen in my life that have directly affected me....boundaries are a must. I am not sure if I processed what you said correctly, but I read that he is blaming you. Someone who is truly sorry and truly trying to make things right with you would not be trying to shift the blame even a little. You having a bruise shows there was a lot of strength behind his attack (whether accident or not). In addition, even if the attack wasn't meant for you.. he should never lay a hand on someone else especially a family member. We are also not of the same spiritual faith so I can't give much advice on your path of spirituality and your identity in spirituality/your identity with god. That is something that takes years to figure out and it seems like you are figuring out what type of relationship you have with god and how to emulate that in your relationships with god's creation. If he is not willing to fault him self where he is guilty and "not a victim of circumstances", is he really ready to change to bring the type of relationship you feel is healthy? I know that some faiths do not recognize divorce....I grew up in faiths of that. But, in those faiths of mine where divorce is (usually) not approved. The priest/minster/whatever head title only approves of divorce if the man/woman is not fulfilling the requirements set out in their holy book. I think right now there is a combination of stuff you have to do. 1. Write out what is your ideal relationship with your deity/with god. 2. Write out what is your ideal relationship with a husband. 3. Write out what is your ideal spiritual community is. 4. Write out what is your ideal family format. 5. Meditate on your spirituality overall and read your scriptures and holy book/books 6. Then read all this out to yourself and compare the similarities and differences of Part 1 & Part 2 as well as Part 3 & Part 4. I am not sure how spiritual you are.... but since it was heavily talked about in your post. I would assume your faith is important to you. Take this time to really connect with yourself and your feelings. I hope some of my advice helps and I apologize if anything I have said felt inappropriate/crossing the line. Well wishes.
  2. Feet and lower back killing me. 

  3. Cleaned my place top to bottom... bleach & disinfect...but it required me to stay up for close to 20 hours.....still some more sweeping to go.  

    1. tired tammy

      tired tammy

      You can come to my place and clean if you want to!!

    2. CherryBlossom


      lol. I was pretty much awake for 37 hours lol....I did take a 2 hour nap in the body aches. I need to mop the living room and kitchen floor as well as bedroom again, So dusty in this apartment. But god am I am accomplishment! yay

  4. Well this psychiatrist was a dud... had to really fight tooth and nail. But, finally got my seroquel....just will never go back to these people. Really messed up folks.
  5. They tagged teamed me and thought they could manipulate me into agreeing with their viewpoint. But on the other hand I have seen how much I have grown and developed as a person. I took on an authoritative factual person and didn't back down. I really have grown to the point that I understand who I am and what I am dealing with, not allowing anyone to tell me how I feel or tell me my experience. To me that shows a major growth spurt and I think I understood how all my past experience in the last year has made me grow. I couldn't identify it until this encounter where I had to stand against two males who were bullies at the end of the day. Think I will write this in my journal/diary.
  6. Yep I ended up getting what I wanted.
  7. With my new psychiatrist and his boss. I told them Oh my doctor put me on seroquel and zyprexa before to help with my anxiety and depression. They were convinced I must have had psychotic break because those meds are only uses for psychosis. Who are they fucking kidding? It's also used for mood disorders...bipolar or depression. Anyone had a weird experience like this just because they have been on the heavier drugs to help their mood and anxiety.
  8. Sorry I just have to say this gif is too funny. Comment to the chat...I guess I'll have no place to linger for the time being, but maybe I will get more stuff done.
  9. Just thought I chime in. While I am far from following a specific spiritual path. I think enlightenment is not really a cookie cut state of being. To me someone who is enlightened is someone who understands their strength & weakness, understand what can be their undoing, knows what they really want and do not want. An enlightened person knows who they are and does not let anyone bring them off their path. Enlightenment happens after a major ending of something in our life. Where us leaving that situation or person leaves us with a better understanding. Many paths teach that knowing yourself is the greatest protection and knowledge you can have. I think you need to first determine what enlightenment looks to you. But at the end of the day...I believe an enlightened person follows the path that they feel is for he/she. If something feels stagnant or very heavy on the soul it may be a sign it is not something for you. Yes struggles are part of life. But struggles are things that happen to us and we have to overcome. Struggle is not meaning staying in an unhappy situation that you could walk away from. If you are of a certain religious that religion's holy scripture and figure out what enlightenment means through your spirituality. Then figure out what enlightenment looks like in your physical world.
  10. idk what his response is. But, if he isn't being clear about what he wants from's probably best to not even bother being in this situation. You were upfront with him that you just wanted a friends with benefits, but doesn't sound like he is defining his boundaries. There is more fish in the sea...I wouldn't really take it to heart because where he is at in his love life may be different from you. You both just want different things or he just doesn't want to really ruin a friendship just to have sex.
  11. Well on a different note. He is in the house now and let's see what happens. I give him a year time before I judge him... but I think he has a poor sense of time because he is promising way too much for a 4 year period. I don't trust him because he has no credentials, has a boat load of bankruptcy which is thrown onto the lower classes, and he put a lot of odd people in position that have no prior experience or education in. But, we are in a climate where people don't want to deal with another politician. But, we'll see what happens.....I pray he is actually better than I suspect because if he isn't I will need some heavy tranquilizers lol. He has back pedal some stuff he said during his running. Heard he signed some laws just recently, but I have no clue what those laws really were.
  12. I have OCD.... I think as long as the med is treating mostly all your symptoms it is a win-win. I mean my hyperfocusing isn't really in-line with my OCD. My OCD mostly hoards cleaning supplies and goes crazy with bleach. I also get very depress and suicidal if something is not clean or becomes messy again. It is like a vicious cycle I swear. I also get obsessional over laxatives. My obsession from my OCD is around food and contamination (especially hair). Then it leads into other stuff if I feed into it. So sometimes I just keep my house messy because my family just destroys it.....think it's better I hate the messiness/wig out than to get horrible depress because it gets messy again.
  13. Thank you for sharing your store. I can very much relate: 1. I do remember my bills and I obsess/become depress if my bills aren't paid. So that's a positive the self-guilt makes me remember 2. My short term memory is crappy... my long term is very good. My forgetful-ness is more like misplacing stuff. So I can't find my keys now and I have no memory where I placed it. I sometimes am the lady who forget where her glasses are just to have it on her head. 3. I do hyperfocus....I get really into something and I research it like crazy. Then to fall out of interest in like 2 weeks. I get bored/apathetic very quickly. 4. I have forgotten to feed myself because of me becoming so focus. 5. Upset that nothing holds my interest for long.... I just am not sure what is really depression/anxiety because these could be symptoms of depression and/or even anxiety. Anti-depressants help me the most. But the Hyperfocus then become bored....continues even without the ant-depressant. I have central auditory processing disorder. So I didn't have normal hearing until age 12/13...this is like 10 years late. I am not sure if this is a continual effect because it can be hard to tell the difference between the two disorders especially in females. But, they can even come together as a pair. But, I have been around some females that are ADHD and I can't really relate to their "struggles" either... so idk what is wrong with me. Maybe I do have ADHD but it's on the more mild or is it just the issue of central auditory processing disorder and now having to deal with constant auditory sounds. The not finding anything to really capture my attention for more than (at most) 3 months could just possibly (also) be a sign of just not really having any talents.
  14. Understand what you are feeling. Been having bad anxiety and depression with suicidal thoughts. Thought of bringing it up. But, I might wait to see the affect of new meds and see if that deals with the issue....if it continues then I know maybe it's ADHD. But there are other issues too... lack of focus in life on a grand scale/no direction. Not sure if I just lack skills/talent/abilities to really find a passion or if it's something more like poor attention/focus issues.
  15. Just wanted to once again say, welcome to the site! I hope you enjoy it and feel it empowers your mental health knowledge. 

    1. wotwot


      Thank you!