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About blissfullybarefoot

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  • Birthday 08/29/1983

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  • Gender
  • Location
    North Carolina
  • Interests
    biking, yoga, beach time

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1133 profile views
  1. what was the last straw?

    I'm still struggling with this, but I'm starting to realize I don't things or people especially to have that power over me so I just put it in my mind that I'm not giving them that power...I will not SI today. One day at a time. Doesn't always work, but it's def a start for me.
  2. ugh..back to square one

    thank you, that makes sense. I'll have to try that para. Thanks for the encouragement:)
  3. ugh..back to square one

    I had gone 8 days without cutting...8 days! that was huge,but today I cut again. I'm afraid I broke the seal so to speak and won't be able to stop again. How do you keep yourself from that downward spiral? ...stay encouraged and move forward bc I feel like a total failure right now. I'm afraid I won't be able to stop again. Who else has been there and how do you get through it?
  4. What have you done impulsively lately?

    How did they turn out? Great I hope. it did turn out great! love it, thankfully lol
  5. What have you done impulsively lately?

    dyed my hair red and got my nose pierced
  6. Manicure?

    thank you so much for the encouragement:) we haven't gone for one yet, but I am gaining confidence, so thank you
  7. I'm giving this info simply as my opinion. I am a huge cannabis advocate (I understand it's not for everyone, but it is certainly for many). IMO it comes behind your motives. Do you HAVE to smoke pot or could you go without. Why are you doing it? To escape and avoid a problem, to relax or for medicinal purposes. I don't think you could be considered an "addict" if you smoke once a week. To me it's more someone who smokes at least a couple times a day and who NEEDS it (not talking medicinal here). There are many benefits to cannabis, so I would look at your motives and go from there. And you aren't hooked for life...if it was an "addiction" it's actually one of the easiest to break.
  8. yes that mild dread and restlessness is def there..which I think turns into crankiness bc I have to much going on at that time. Do you HAVE to take it with food for the full effect or could I take it right before bed? guess I'll ask my pdoc thanks!
  9. I'm cutting again

    I am so sorry you feel this way. You do need help. It would be incredibly difficult if not impossible to get through this without professional help. Don't do that to yourself. I hope you find a dr who listens, who you can trust and who can really be of help to you. Your parents are trying to do what's best for you. I remember when I was cutting when I was 17 and my mom FREAKED. Now I'm cutting again at 30 and my husband FREAKED. It is so hard for people to understand. Read through this and maybe share it with your parents and seek professional help. They are there for a reason:) I hope you start feeling better soon. You deserve to feel well:) http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm
  10. I feel pretty ok (well more like euphoria mania) the rest of the day, which is actually a great change from the rapid cycling and agitated mania I had been having. . It's just that I'm super irritable for about an hour or two after I take it I'm thinking it just needs to regulate in my system or something with the dose. Glad I'm not the only one. Would be nice to feel "normal" but one step at a time I guess
  11. I started taking 20 mgs Latuda about 2 weeks ago. I've noticed after I take it I get super cranky within about 30 minutes. I don't know if it's the fact that I take it after dinner and that's the hardest part of the day with kids..baths, bed, etc.. or if it's the meds. Meds seem to be exasperating it at least. Anyone else experience this crankiness? I thought about taking it right before I go to bed, but you're supposed to take it with at least 350 calories, which I have been doing. I know it takes a while to stabilize in your system, my pdoc told me if I didn't feel better in about a week (2+ weeks ago) she would up the dose, I called her and left a message with her assistant, but that was a few days ago and she hasn't gotten back to me yet.
  12. gotta get out!

    I'm not sure what exactly causes it. I don't know if it's paranoia (bc I'm def paranoid..although I always tell people, it's not paranoia if it's true lol..followed by their response of, exactly what a paranoid person would say anyway..lol) or anxiety, claustrophobia (which I def have), anxiety or something else entirely. All I know is that when he won't let me out and I NEED to get out, I have this fire and fear that wells up inside me like nothing else. When I have to get out, I HAVE to get out. I'll try talking to him, not in the moment and see if it helps and I'm going to talk to my tdoc about it as well. I just started seeking treatment (even though this shit has been going on for yeeeeeeeears), so I've only been once so far. pretty new to this, trying to feel better with help thing. Thanks so much for all your input, I appreciate it:)
  13. gotta get out!

    Don't be sorry! I feel like that so often it's not even funny. My claustrophobia (or whatever it is) isn't really the biggest issue, but I def feel like my life is passing me by..it pisses me off and yet I feel blocked. Powerless to do anything at all. ugh..and that crawling out of you skin feeling...def relate to that as well. it's awful. I hope thing start to get better for you soon and you can start living! (I'll hope that for myself as well:)
  14. Manicure?

    yeah..they are pretty fresh, so concealer is out for now, but thank you for all the info! I appreciate you taking the time to reach out
  15. gotta get out!

    that's a great idea, I might have to do that. I have tried explaining..sort of, really more like "get the fuck out of my way before I punch you in the face" and "I'm no longer responsible for my actions if you let me the fuck out" . What's hard to understand about that? lol And we have actually talked some, but he just doesn't get it..actually doesn't get a lot about my mi (even though he has depression and anxiety himself, it's different for him). Thanks for the suggestion:)