I have no idea. but I'm here, at least for now. i can't promise that i won't run away again, and again.. even if i stay it'll take me a while to relax enough to fully participate - i'm more likely to keep posting in my blog (which i recently resurrected again) but it's invite only at the moment until i feel able to trust more openly. but if anyone wants to have a look around, that'd be ok - just let me know. but i warn you, i take rejection hard and will be hurt if you decide not to stay, dammit.