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OysterWorld

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About OysterWorld

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  1. So the depression is not sorted as yet, but I'm working on it... I feel emotionally lonely, like I can't talk to anyone... not that I know what to say anyway. I do have a new therapist coming up so I know I can talk to them and they can help me. It's mostly with my family and friends...I have to make a fake personality to be with them, it feels like lying, and I hate lying. When I'm out with my friends I have to put on a fake smile and act like everything is okay. The worst is with my family. When they ask me "are you okay? how are you feeling?" I have to straight up lie to their faces. What do i say? That I'm doing awful and that the suicidal thoughts are there in spades? I don't want them to worry unnecessarily because if I tell them that I'm not doing well they can't really do anything about it anyway, it would just make them feel more guilty and shameful that they can't help. It feels like I'm at war and there is no one standing behind me, the will to live slipping through my fingers like sand.
  2. Thank you for more replies (even the marijuana one...) I know I have taken a lot of meds in one year, but my doctor has made it a point to allow enough time for them to work before we decide to change them. We wait at least 6 weeks and try different doses before trying anything else. I have been taking a combination of medicines for a while now as we found that just an antidepressant was clearly not working. I have another appointment in a week which will make it well over 6 weeks on the current medications and I don't know whether he will change anything or keep it the same. I still don't feel much better though so I don't know what to tell him because he will change the meds if I just say I feel bad. But I don't know whether its worth staying on a cocktail that isn't working well enough for me so...
  3. Thank you for all the information about medications I will definitely be mentioning some of the categories of medicines to my doctor next time. Some I haven't even heard of lol. I did do some CBT therapy back in mid 2013 and did it for probably 18 weeks until I was hospitalized. We did not carry on after that due to financial constraints.
  4. Thank you for the support guys! As you can probably tell I haven't been doing this mental health thing for as long as others (just over one year now). My doctor is currently trying to use APs combined with antidepressants to try and improve the mood. I know I still have options and Lamictal is next on the list I think I just hope that it doesn't take too long for something to take effect. The fact that there has been nothing at all from any medication so far is getting tiring it's like I'm not taking anything at all. If someone changed my meds without me knowing i probably wouldn't realize at all. Thanks again though for your advice
  5. Here's the hell I am...

    Thank you for the warm welcomes guys Yeah I realize that I probably shouldn't worry too much about diagnosis. Lately my pdoc has been using APs as mood stabilizers just as you said combined with an anti-depressant to try and boost the mood, unfortunately that has not worked yet (not even a scratch)... but here's to hoping, right.
  6. Hi crazies, So I've been in outpatient care for over a year now trying different medications and therapies to try and make me feel better. See, here's the catch... none of the medications seem to have any effect on me at all. I mean nothing. Or nothing that I can see. I read about some people seeing a marked difference sometimes when they try some new medications, either bad or good, but I've never had anything close to that ever happen to me. My case presents like an easy-to-treat depression, which is what my psychiatrist said, and that after a couple of anti-depressants I should be feeling better shortly. Yeah.. that didn't happen. We've tried so many medications that he is starting to panic now and he even recommended electroconvulsive therapy. My question is does anyone else have this problem? And if you do what are you trying/what works for you?
  7. Hi crazies (lol), I've been on your website recently and found the information and sense of community quite inspiring. Well, I'm a 17 year old high school senior with major depressive disorder... that's about it i guess, that's all I've got. Obvious symptoms of a mood disorder surfaced at 14 years old, but now that I know more about mental health i realize that I was probably very different in the way I think from early childhood. Two years ago my family saw that my mood was become a problem and starting to affect my life so they made me go to our general practitioner and from there I referred to a psychiatrist, whom I am still currently with. I was hospitalized three times in three months back in mid 2013 for suicidal thoughts and intentions, self harm... and other usual stuff that we all go through here (stay strong together (: ). There has been some debate on the diagnosis which may explain why nothing has worked thus far. I was once given a diagnosis of bipolar 2 and bipolar NOS and doctors were treating me accordingly. However, after my most recent hospitalization the diagnosis is now MDD, but I think all of us (including the doctors) are a bit confused as to what exactly is wrong with me. So yeah, that's where I am now... in a long stalemate of doctor giving medications and me staring at them hoping one day one of them will work. I realize this is getting long so I'm done now thanks for reading if you did .
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